How?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 6
How?
I don't really know how to start. I don't drink. Until I do.
I'll try to find words to explain it and please bear with me, as I'm not a native English speaker.
I'm a committed mom, a high performer at work, I constantly get promoted, I'm a loved and appreciated wife, a conscious vegan, a supportive friend. I tend to always commit 100% to everything I do. 200% to be more precise. I smile and laugh and you'd probably find me to be pretty and likeable.
I work hard, the more guilty I feel, the harder. This actually seems to be the trend and you're welcome to psychoanalise me. Guilt=high performance. No guilt and I get lazy and sloppy. No idea why.
I travel with work, stay at fancy locations in fancy hotels with fancy sheets and a minibar. And then I get drunk. No glamour, just emptying the minibar and visiting a convenient store when I'm out. I can't stop. I found myself crying and puking on the bathroom floors at 6 different occasions.
It started 1 year ago. Blame the pressure at work if you will, I do hold a high management position. And it started slowly, in a sneaky way. I had a beer with a partner and then celebrated the success, alone in the hotel room. Which soon became a pattern. Me, my hotel room, my minibar, my hangover, my guilt, my shame and disgust.
Since then: I've missed some important meetings. Had to lie about it. I lost a friend. Had to lie about it. I went on 4-5days long binge drinking 6 times. Had to lie about the reasons for doing so. Faced severe withdrawal symptoms each of the 6 times, with shivers, fever, panic attacks, vomiting and all that jazz.
I've started drinking during the day, when no-one was watching. Had to lie about it. I was caught by my bf and promised to never do it again. And I really don't drink, for weeks. Until I do. And then it's all getting out of control again.
I'm so ashamed of myself and reading the posts here I'm sure you know what I mean. I've made so many mistakes this last year, all because of A.
I also tried to get help. From my family (struggling with their own addictions). From my bf (the most reasonable man on earth, which humbled me and made me feel useless). A psychologist (which didn't work, because I was too proud to admit the truth).
I don't know what to do and this forum is my only hope. Please, share your thoughts.
I'll try to find words to explain it and please bear with me, as I'm not a native English speaker.
I'm a committed mom, a high performer at work, I constantly get promoted, I'm a loved and appreciated wife, a conscious vegan, a supportive friend. I tend to always commit 100% to everything I do. 200% to be more precise. I smile and laugh and you'd probably find me to be pretty and likeable.
I work hard, the more guilty I feel, the harder. This actually seems to be the trend and you're welcome to psychoanalise me. Guilt=high performance. No guilt and I get lazy and sloppy. No idea why.
I travel with work, stay at fancy locations in fancy hotels with fancy sheets and a minibar. And then I get drunk. No glamour, just emptying the minibar and visiting a convenient store when I'm out. I can't stop. I found myself crying and puking on the bathroom floors at 6 different occasions.
It started 1 year ago. Blame the pressure at work if you will, I do hold a high management position. And it started slowly, in a sneaky way. I had a beer with a partner and then celebrated the success, alone in the hotel room. Which soon became a pattern. Me, my hotel room, my minibar, my hangover, my guilt, my shame and disgust.
Since then: I've missed some important meetings. Had to lie about it. I lost a friend. Had to lie about it. I went on 4-5days long binge drinking 6 times. Had to lie about the reasons for doing so. Faced severe withdrawal symptoms each of the 6 times, with shivers, fever, panic attacks, vomiting and all that jazz.
I've started drinking during the day, when no-one was watching. Had to lie about it. I was caught by my bf and promised to never do it again. And I really don't drink, for weeks. Until I do. And then it's all getting out of control again.
I'm so ashamed of myself and reading the posts here I'm sure you know what I mean. I've made so many mistakes this last year, all because of A.
I also tried to get help. From my family (struggling with their own addictions). From my bf (the most reasonable man on earth, which humbled me and made me feel useless). A psychologist (which didn't work, because I was too proud to admit the truth).
I don't know what to do and this forum is my only hope. Please, share your thoughts.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 666
Alohamania,
We are so glad you are here. Welcome to SR. This is a wonderful place, with wise and caring people, who can help you get your life back.
There IS hope. Life can be better. You deserve it.
Read around, post, listen to others... SR has helped me a turn a corner. It can for you too.
We are so glad you are here. Welcome to SR. This is a wonderful place, with wise and caring people, who can help you get your life back.
There IS hope. Life can be better. You deserve it.
Read around, post, listen to others... SR has helped me a turn a corner. It can for you too.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
yep.
everything you shared.... yep. Classic. The patterns are there. Gradually, it'll get worse. And worse. And worse.
Or - or it won't.
I've been there, too.
How do you stop?
Well.... first off, you CHOOSE to. You really, really make a choice that you're going to change. That you're going to be a sober person. That you will do everything it takes.
Then you support that choice with actions.
You sound driven, hard-charging, wound-up, an achiever.
I'm familiar with that.
It probably is how you embody some underlying things you need to deal with. That was the case for me.
You need to support your choice of sobriety with a plan, a program, fellow addicts and alcoholics.
I'd say you probably also need to support your choice of sobriety with some therapy..... it helped me, and your words suggest it might help you, too.
Maybe take a break from the travels if you can for a bit. If you can't - then request a room without a mini bar. Plan ahead exactly what you'll do INSTEAD of drinking. The gym. A local AA meeting. Read the Big Book. Go to a library or museum. Plot it out.
It's clear you see the madness. You CAN stop it. But you must choose it, and then you must be willing to act, do the work, choose it again and again every day. Sometimes many times per day.
And your life will be immeasurably better for it!
everything you shared.... yep. Classic. The patterns are there. Gradually, it'll get worse. And worse. And worse.
Or - or it won't.
I've been there, too.
How do you stop?
Well.... first off, you CHOOSE to. You really, really make a choice that you're going to change. That you're going to be a sober person. That you will do everything it takes.
Then you support that choice with actions.
You sound driven, hard-charging, wound-up, an achiever.
I'm familiar with that.
It probably is how you embody some underlying things you need to deal with. That was the case for me.
You need to support your choice of sobriety with a plan, a program, fellow addicts and alcoholics.
I'd say you probably also need to support your choice of sobriety with some therapy..... it helped me, and your words suggest it might help you, too.
Maybe take a break from the travels if you can for a bit. If you can't - then request a room without a mini bar. Plan ahead exactly what you'll do INSTEAD of drinking. The gym. A local AA meeting. Read the Big Book. Go to a library or museum. Plot it out.
It's clear you see the madness. You CAN stop it. But you must choose it, and then you must be willing to act, do the work, choose it again and again every day. Sometimes many times per day.
And your life will be immeasurably better for it!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Glad you found us. I bet it felt good to get all that out. I was another one who could not be honest with a counsellor. I found that this place (online) and AA (face to face) have been the two places where i could be myself, because other people have had the same experiences.
Lots of alcoholics, I have found, are high achievers, and very intelligent. This makes it all the more frustrating when this area of our life remains beyond our control.
Stick around and keep reading and posting. No doubt things will start to look a little clearer if you do this.
I don't know where you are in the world, but chances are that there will be alcoholics anonymous nearby. Why not Google and find out.
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB
Lots of alcoholics, I have found, are high achievers, and very intelligent. This makes it all the more frustrating when this area of our life remains beyond our control.
Stick around and keep reading and posting. No doubt things will start to look a little clearer if you do this.
I don't know where you are in the world, but chances are that there will be alcoholics anonymous nearby. Why not Google and find out.
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: UK, South Coast
Posts: 605
Hi, welcome to SR, ur story is a very common story for alot of us on here. I am/was a wine drinking mother of 2, I have a stressful sometimes dangerous job & have suffered with mild depression over the yrs.
My drinking escalated in the last 3 yrs. I didnt drink daily, sometimes id go 2 weeks without drinking but when i drank, i bloody drank!! I wouldnt just have a glass, id get well & truly plastered & then hide my empties from my hubbie!!
I'm just sick of feeling like crap, guilty, ashamed & anxious.
I have now been sober for a week....i plan to stay that way. This place is wonderful for advice & support, read & post as much as possible
My drinking escalated in the last 3 yrs. I didnt drink daily, sometimes id go 2 weeks without drinking but when i drank, i bloody drank!! I wouldnt just have a glass, id get well & truly plastered & then hide my empties from my hubbie!!
I'm just sick of feeling like crap, guilty, ashamed & anxious.
I have now been sober for a week....i plan to stay that way. This place is wonderful for advice & support, read & post as much as possible
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 6
Originally Posted by tealily 
Alohamania,
We are so glad you are here. Welcome to SR. This is a wonderful place, with wise and caring people, who can help you get your life back.
There IS hope. Life can be better. You deserve it.
Read around, post, listen to others... SR has helped me a turn a corner. It can for you too.
We are so glad you are here. Welcome to SR. This is a wonderful place, with wise and caring people, who can help you get your life back.
There IS hope. Life can be better. You deserve it.
Read around, post, listen to others... SR has helped me a turn a corner. It can for you too.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Queensland
Posts: 568
Welcome 
Ditto to free owls comment. Well said.
A lot of us on here (probably all of us) have an all or nothing mentality. Sprinkle in an addictive personality and its game on.
I don't want to play this game anymore because it leads to misery, anxiety, shame, guilt.... bad bad actions and emotions.
Let's hop off this 'ride' hey
Ditto to free owls comment. Well said.
A lot of us on here (probably all of us) have an all or nothing mentality. Sprinkle in an addictive personality and its game on.
I don't want to play this game anymore because it leads to misery, anxiety, shame, guilt.... bad bad actions and emotions.
Let's hop off this 'ride' hey
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Welcome!
I have used SR as my support as well. I think that recovery comes down to motivation. If you want to stop drinking, you can do it. Many of us have been in similar positions to you and found a way out.
SR is a great place to learn and read and be inspired. I understand your feelings of guilt and shame. Those are things that alcoholism uses to keep us hooked, to make it harder to step away. But, you can do this!
I have used SR as my support as well. I think that recovery comes down to motivation. If you want to stop drinking, you can do it. Many of us have been in similar positions to you and found a way out.
SR is a great place to learn and read and be inspired. I understand your feelings of guilt and shame. Those are things that alcoholism uses to keep us hooked, to make it harder to step away. But, you can do this!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 6
Originally Posted by FreeOwl
yep.
everything you shared.... yep. Classic. The patterns are there. Gradually, it'll get worse. And worse. And worse.
Or - or it won't.
I've been there, too.
How do you stop?
Well.... first off, you CHOOSE to. You really, really make a choice that you're going to change. That you're going to be a sober person. That you will do everything it takes.
Then you support that choice with actions.
You sound driven, hard-charging, wound-up, an achiever.
I'm familiar with that.
It probably is how you embody some underlying things you need to deal with. That was the case for me.
You need to support your choice of sobriety with a plan, a program, fellow addicts and alcoholics.
I'd say you probably also need to support your choice of sobriety with some therapy..... it helped me, and your words suggest it might help you, too.
Maybe take a break from the travels if you can for a bit. If you can't - then request a room without a mini bar. Plan ahead exactly what you'll do INSTEAD of drinking. The gym. A local AA meeting. Read the Big Book. Go to a library or museum. Plot it out.
It's clear you see the madness. You CAN stop it. But you must choose it, and then you must be willing to act, do the work, choose it again and again every day. Sometimes many times per day.
And your life will be immeasurably better for it!
everything you shared.... yep. Classic. The patterns are there. Gradually, it'll get worse. And worse. And worse.
Or - or it won't.
I've been there, too.
How do you stop?
Well.... first off, you CHOOSE to. You really, really make a choice that you're going to change. That you're going to be a sober person. That you will do everything it takes.
Then you support that choice with actions.
You sound driven, hard-charging, wound-up, an achiever.
I'm familiar with that.
It probably is how you embody some underlying things you need to deal with. That was the case for me.
You need to support your choice of sobriety with a plan, a program, fellow addicts and alcoholics.
I'd say you probably also need to support your choice of sobriety with some therapy..... it helped me, and your words suggest it might help you, too.
Maybe take a break from the travels if you can for a bit. If you can't - then request a room without a mini bar. Plan ahead exactly what you'll do INSTEAD of drinking. The gym. A local AA meeting. Read the Big Book. Go to a library or museum. Plot it out.
It's clear you see the madness. You CAN stop it. But you must choose it, and then you must be willing to act, do the work, choose it again and again every day. Sometimes many times per day.
And your life will be immeasurably better for it!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 6
Originally Posted by Anna
Welcome!
I have used SR as my support as well. I think that recovery comes down to motivation. If you want to stop drinking, you can do it. Many of us have been in similar positions to you and found a way out.
SR is a great place to learn and read and be inspired. I understand your feelings of guilt and shame. Those are things that alcoholism uses to keep us hooked, to make it harder to step away. But, you can do this!
I have used SR as my support as well. I think that recovery comes down to motivation. If you want to stop drinking, you can do it. Many of us have been in similar positions to you and found a way out.
SR is a great place to learn and read and be inspired. I understand your feelings of guilt and shame. Those are things that alcoholism uses to keep us hooked, to make it harder to step away. But, you can do this!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 6
Originally Posted by Berrybean
Glad you found us. I bet it felt good to get all that out. I was another one who could not be honest with a counsellor. I found that this place (online) and AA (face to face) have been the two places where i could be myself, because other people have had the same experiences.
Lots of alcoholics, I have found, are high achievers, and very intelligent. This makes it all the more frustrating when this area of our life remains beyond our control.
Stick around and keep reading and posting. No doubt things will start to look a little clearer if you do this.
I don't know where you are in the world, but chances are that there will be alcoholics anonymous nearby. Why not Google and find out.
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB
Lots of alcoholics, I have found, are high achievers, and very intelligent. This makes it all the more frustrating when this area of our life remains beyond our control.
Stick around and keep reading and posting. No doubt things will start to look a little clearer if you do this.
I don't know where you are in the world, but chances are that there will be alcoholics anonymous nearby. Why not Google and find out.
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
it's a pretty long story, but the really abbreviated version is that I started drinking at a young age. I drank heavily when I binged, kept it in control when I didn't. It all worked seemingly well for many years, except for the scattered times I got in trouble and the many wicked hangovers - I kept it together. I have a career in sales, software, services. I traveled the world. I stayed in lots of 5 star places and spent lots of time in first class. Booze everywhere. Things progressed. I gradually got worse but didn't really see it or acknowledge it. I got DUIs and I got divorces and I had lots of financial troubles - but it all looked good from the outside. I worked hard. I was "successful".
It all led, eventually, to a year and a half of binging every day. Blacking out every day. Saying "not today" every day - then being drunk again by evening. I finally chose sobriety before I truly lost it all.
It was the best choice I've ever made.
It all led, eventually, to a year and a half of binging every day. Blacking out every day. Saying "not today" every day - then being drunk again by evening. I finally chose sobriety before I truly lost it all.
It was the best choice I've ever made.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
When I first came here I knew that alcohol was making a lot of areas of my life unmanageable. It was affecting my work performance , relationships, health, money, and generally my home was starting to turn into a hovel. But although I'd tried lots of ways to cut down my drinking and stop things getting out of hand, I still hoped that there was some way I could learn to drink normally. The folk here helped me to understand that this was highly unlikely. They also encouraged me to work not only on staying sober, but also on my recovery so that sobriety might be bearable and sustainable. Nowadays it is comfortable and preferable to my old drinking life, but that did take a while. It also helped me to know that it is quite normal for sobriety to feel pretty horrible at first, with anxiety, cravings, raw emotions, feeling restless, irritable and discontent, lots of feelings of shame, and anger , and desperation. This is all quite normal in early sobriety and it does pass, as long as we don't take a drink. I got through all those feelings and that discomfort because the support of people on here who has walked the path before me made it possible. I really don't think I could have kept going alone, as nobody in my life had been through it so they did not understand.
I hope you will do yourself the good turn and take that daunting step to sobriety. Yes, it is scary. But there IS life beyond alcohol. You are more than a drinker. This IS possible. I know because I did it and I have seen so many other women do the same thing. Clever, qualified, witty, professional women for whom alcohol had taken away their self-respect and dignity. Some who had lost jobs, husbands and children die to their alcoholism. Others who were on their way to doing this but turned things around before those tragedies struck.
Welcome.
BB
I hope you will do yourself the good turn and take that daunting step to sobriety. Yes, it is scary. But there IS life beyond alcohol. You are more than a drinker. This IS possible. I know because I did it and I have seen so many other women do the same thing. Clever, qualified, witty, professional women for whom alcohol had taken away their self-respect and dignity. Some who had lost jobs, husbands and children die to their alcoholism. Others who were on their way to doing this but turned things around before those tragedies struck.
Welcome.
BB
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: CT
Posts: 128
Hi Aloha. I would like to echo everything said above. You are in a place of understanding. Everything you have done that you are ashamed of and think no one else could possibly have done - we have, and then some.
There is a connection that we have with each other that you will not find with someone who has not suffered from problem drinking/drug use. Keep posting, and keep reading. It's amazing how lonely we feel when in active addiction, and equally amazing when we find what a relief it is that we are not at all alone. Addiction thrives on loneliness.
There is a connection that we have with each other that you will not find with someone who has not suffered from problem drinking/drug use. Keep posting, and keep reading. It's amazing how lonely we feel when in active addiction, and equally amazing when we find what a relief it is that we are not at all alone. Addiction thrives on loneliness.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 666
Originally Posted by Alohamania
Can you tell me how it helped you?
I tried cutting down, moderating, swearing I'd stop, multiple times. But it somehow never clicked completely until I introduced myself here, read the stories of others, their problems and successes, and committed myself to make a change.
It really comes down to something so simple: Just choosing to not drink and have a better life. It's difficult at first, because alcohol is addictive, and many of us are using it to self-medicate our stresses, depression, anxiety. It's obviously a self-destructive and self-defeating coping strategy.. and it takes realizing that and CHOOSING to not drink and create a better life.
The top of this forum has "sticky"s -- pinned posts that the moderators have found are helpful time and again.
As you read posts, you'll see that your story is not unique. The pattern is so predictable, all of us here can relate, and yet the solution is predictable too.
It just takes making a committment to change.
Keep posting. I love that you are asking so many questions and for specific advice. There's a lot of wisdom and experience here!
Here's my story, if you want to read it:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rate-stop.html
I'm now over 2 months alcohol free and I now see the light at the end of the tunnel. You can too!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
welcome,aloha. what im reading is quite a bit how i used to be:
an egomaniac with low self esttem.
then i was granted the gift of desperation- the pain of getting drunk had exceeded the pain of reality and i WANTED help.
i found my way to an AA meeting. i kept going to meetings. got the big book and started reading it. went to meetings.prayed like crazy, started likin what the big book said could happen by following a few simple suggestions, went to meetings, started doing what the big book suggested( looking at the underlying issues that alcohol was just a symptom of),prayed like crazy.
repeated.
slowly but surely- and the program as laid out in the big book promised, things IN ME started changing. slowly but surely- as the program as laid out in the big book promised- things in my life started change.
and all for the better. eventually came a day when the problem with alcohol was removed- just as promised. eventually a day came when i didnt hate myself- just as promised. eventually, life took on new meaning and i no longer wallowed in self pity,fear, self centeredness, and a plethora of other crap.
its been a blessing to have found AA.
an egomaniac with low self esttem.
then i was granted the gift of desperation- the pain of getting drunk had exceeded the pain of reality and i WANTED help.
i found my way to an AA meeting. i kept going to meetings. got the big book and started reading it. went to meetings.prayed like crazy, started likin what the big book said could happen by following a few simple suggestions, went to meetings, started doing what the big book suggested( looking at the underlying issues that alcohol was just a symptom of),prayed like crazy.
repeated.
slowly but surely- and the program as laid out in the big book promised, things IN ME started changing. slowly but surely- as the program as laid out in the big book promised- things in my life started change.
and all for the better. eventually came a day when the problem with alcohol was removed- just as promised. eventually a day came when i didnt hate myself- just as promised. eventually, life took on new meaning and i no longer wallowed in self pity,fear, self centeredness, and a plethora of other crap.
its been a blessing to have found AA.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
I'm so glad you joined us, Alohamania. You found an encouraging place where everyone understands. I can relate to everything you said - that was me many years ago. I wish I'd recognized the danger I was in.
Talking things over here helped me so much. I had felt all alone until I joined. Just knowing others had the same thoughts & fears meant everything. I had no one else in my life who understood. I'm glad you've acknowledged what drinking is doing to your life. You can get free.
Talking things over here helped me so much. I had felt all alone until I joined. Just knowing others had the same thoughts & fears meant everything. I had no one else in my life who understood. I'm glad you've acknowledged what drinking is doing to your life. You can get free.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Essex County New Jersey
Posts: 140
Wow, your initial post resonated with me. I did all the things you describe ... and I continued to do so, for a long time, and it got worse, over the course of many years.
I thought I was pretty brilliant (this was years ago) and got invited to give a lecture as "an expert" in front of many people in Atlanta. The company flew me there. When I got there, the person from the company who was hosting the event invited me to dinner, and we had "a few" drinks. After we parted, I went by myself to the hotel bar and drank and drank and drank until I was completely wasted. I spent the whole night by myself talking to the bartender (who probably couldn't care less) about all sorts of things (it was a Tuesday). The next day I had to give the lecture ... I probably still reeked despite the long shower. My eyes were unfocused, glazed over. Needless to say I was the opposite of the sharp "expert" they had flown down to give the talk. I have never been invited back anywhere since then, although no one ever said anything (but I know !).
This was years ago ... I could have stopped then but I continued drinking. Every day ... for years ... My whole life became shame, resentment, guilt, pleading for forgiveness (but taking no action), then repeat, over and over again ...
I managed some periods of sobriety since then, the most being a few months. But the serious struggle only started in the fall of 2016, when I joined SR. I have fallen off the wagon a ton since then, but I have gotten many short periods of sobriety also.
I have done so much better in the last year in spite of a few slips. Reading SR, and posting and receiving sage advice, has helped a lot. Also, I got really desperate not to be a drunk anymore! I have tried to implement a plan as well (as recommended here), and that has often helped a lot.
I got a new job, which I start in two weeks. I can't wait to put the old me behind me. But I will still have to be a new me to all the people who know the old me, and that is hard.
As a beginner on the road to "recovered" I am relying on the wisdom of the recovered folks on this site, and in meetings. Seems like you are on the right track, I have gotten so much encouragement from people on this site who have beaten this. If they were as bad as me and were able to turn it around, I have hope that I can recover also.
Welcome to the site and look forward to hearing about your journey !
I thought I was pretty brilliant (this was years ago) and got invited to give a lecture as "an expert" in front of many people in Atlanta. The company flew me there. When I got there, the person from the company who was hosting the event invited me to dinner, and we had "a few" drinks. After we parted, I went by myself to the hotel bar and drank and drank and drank until I was completely wasted. I spent the whole night by myself talking to the bartender (who probably couldn't care less) about all sorts of things (it was a Tuesday). The next day I had to give the lecture ... I probably still reeked despite the long shower. My eyes were unfocused, glazed over. Needless to say I was the opposite of the sharp "expert" they had flown down to give the talk. I have never been invited back anywhere since then, although no one ever said anything (but I know !).
This was years ago ... I could have stopped then but I continued drinking. Every day ... for years ... My whole life became shame, resentment, guilt, pleading for forgiveness (but taking no action), then repeat, over and over again ...
I managed some periods of sobriety since then, the most being a few months. But the serious struggle only started in the fall of 2016, when I joined SR. I have fallen off the wagon a ton since then, but I have gotten many short periods of sobriety also.
I have done so much better in the last year in spite of a few slips. Reading SR, and posting and receiving sage advice, has helped a lot. Also, I got really desperate not to be a drunk anymore! I have tried to implement a plan as well (as recommended here), and that has often helped a lot.
I got a new job, which I start in two weeks. I can't wait to put the old me behind me. But I will still have to be a new me to all the people who know the old me, and that is hard.
As a beginner on the road to "recovered" I am relying on the wisdom of the recovered folks on this site, and in meetings. Seems like you are on the right track, I have gotten so much encouragement from people on this site who have beaten this. If they were as bad as me and were able to turn it around, I have hope that I can recover also.
Welcome to the site and look forward to hearing about your journey !
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