New and afraid of failure
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 8
New and afraid of failure
Hi,
I'm new to recovery after realizing how exhausting it is to live the way I have been. I need to be a better person.
This is what I say every single Monday. I go off the deep end and drink all weekend. I feel so embarrassed, ashamed, and guilty. I get to the point where I feel like my family is better off without me.
I'm hoping this will be a good tool for me. I need accountability and somewhere to turn to when my mind says, "One drink won't hurt".
I'm new to recovery after realizing how exhausting it is to live the way I have been. I need to be a better person.
This is what I say every single Monday. I go off the deep end and drink all weekend. I feel so embarrassed, ashamed, and guilty. I get to the point where I feel like my family is better off without me.
I'm hoping this will be a good tool for me. I need accountability and somewhere to turn to when my mind says, "One drink won't hurt".
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi and welcome Nos4r2 
SR was great for me in breaking that cycle of drinking, swearing not to drink, feeling better and finally drinking again.
It made a difference when I could read my own posts, or posts of others, and helped me accept I had a problem and needed to change.
As long as you commit to doing everything possible to reinforce your desire to be sober, you have nothing to be scared about
welcome aboard
D
SR was great for me in breaking that cycle of drinking, swearing not to drink, feeling better and finally drinking again.
It made a difference when I could read my own posts, or posts of others, and helped me accept I had a problem and needed to change.
As long as you commit to doing everything possible to reinforce your desire to be sober, you have nothing to be scared about
welcome aboard
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 1,742
Hi Nos4, glad to read your post.
Yup, I can relate to your feelings of guilt, shame and demoralization. Alcohol used to be fun for me, until it wasn't fun anymore.
This forum has been a lifeline for me. Lots of solid recovery. "Take what you need, leave the rest."
Yup, I can relate to your feelings of guilt, shame and demoralization. Alcohol used to be fun for me, until it wasn't fun anymore.
This forum has been a lifeline for me. Lots of solid recovery. "Take what you need, leave the rest."
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: 45th Parallel, Michigan
Posts: 816
I can safely say you'll never read anyone here who thinks "one drink won't hurt!"
You will read lots of good advice, stories similar to your own, and many good and kind and sincere wishes supporting your decision. This website is amazing...
You will read lots of good advice, stories similar to your own, and many good and kind and sincere wishes supporting your decision. This website is amazing...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Choice is a great tool for warding off the fear.
Drinking isn't something that happens TO you.
It's something you CHOOSE.
Never in the history of alcohol has alcohol jumped up, grabbed a person by the throat, forced their head back, pried open their mouth and poured itself down their throat.
Every single time alcohol took over someone's life - that someone chose it.
You don't have to be afraid.... you get to choose. And that choice begins right now. It happens again every day. It happens again many times throughout the day sometimes.
So - spend your time and your focus in CHOICE, not in FEAR. Time spent in fear is time spent envisioning and manifesting an outcome you don't want. Time spent in choice is positive time spent creating the image of the outcome you desire.
And when you're spending time in the space of choice and envisioning the positive outcome - you cannot simultaneously be seated in fear.
Drinking isn't something that happens TO you.
It's something you CHOOSE.
Never in the history of alcohol has alcohol jumped up, grabbed a person by the throat, forced their head back, pried open their mouth and poured itself down their throat.
Every single time alcohol took over someone's life - that someone chose it.
You don't have to be afraid.... you get to choose. And that choice begins right now. It happens again every day. It happens again many times throughout the day sometimes.
So - spend your time and your focus in CHOICE, not in FEAR. Time spent in fear is time spent envisioning and manifesting an outcome you don't want. Time spent in choice is positive time spent creating the image of the outcome you desire.
And when you're spending time in the space of choice and envisioning the positive outcome - you cannot simultaneously be seated in fear.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
You can do this. I was in the same boat for years. We all can relate. The first few weeks are a bit of a challenge as you get your bearings. Most people here will talk of a plan. Planning out your time and making sobriety the most important aspect of your life.
So, When I started this road again I made this plan:
Logged onto SR in the mornings and participated in talking with others about being sober.
Gym
Work
After work, I ate dinner and took a bath.
I logged back onto this forum and engaged.
I read or watched TV at night and went to sleep early.
Repeat above every single day.
When the weekends came around I did the same but was more engaged in SR and getting my house in order.
Soon enough I was gathering up sober time and feeling better and better about my life.
I am working on my 4th month of continuous sobriety now. Its been quite the positive experience. Keep moving forward. Take the first step and then the second, third and forth. You can do this!
So, When I started this road again I made this plan:
Logged onto SR in the mornings and participated in talking with others about being sober.
Gym
Work
After work, I ate dinner and took a bath.
I logged back onto this forum and engaged.
I read or watched TV at night and went to sleep early.
Repeat above every single day.
When the weekends came around I did the same but was more engaged in SR and getting my house in order.
Soon enough I was gathering up sober time and feeling better and better about my life.
I am working on my 4th month of continuous sobriety now. Its been quite the positive experience. Keep moving forward. Take the first step and then the second, third and forth. You can do this!
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