What Emotions Do They Go Through
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 21
What Emotions Do They Go Through
Any thoughts on the Alcoholic's way of thinking once you say "no more" and kick them out? I understand not one size fits all.
My ex went immediately into another relationship (with another boozer). He still portrays the he is the victim - even though he has no job, has been DIC'd so cant drive, and is out on bail for breach of protection order (of course he is pleading not guilty). Him and his family are spreading rumours including that I am a lesbian and that I kicked him out so I could be with my new man.
He seems now to be angry and bitter towards me and is threatening to take legal action so I can pay him money to rent. Because of course I kicked him out of his home so I should have to pay for him to live.....
I guess this means he is still full on in denial about his alcoholism etc. Do they EVER "get it"? Or am I doomed to suffer his wrath indefinitely?
My ex went immediately into another relationship (with another boozer). He still portrays the he is the victim - even though he has no job, has been DIC'd so cant drive, and is out on bail for breach of protection order (of course he is pleading not guilty). Him and his family are spreading rumours including that I am a lesbian and that I kicked him out so I could be with my new man.
He seems now to be angry and bitter towards me and is threatening to take legal action so I can pay him money to rent. Because of course I kicked him out of his home so I should have to pay for him to live.....
I guess this means he is still full on in denial about his alcoholism etc. Do they EVER "get it"? Or am I doomed to suffer his wrath indefinitely?
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,388
They will try to find someone who will keep playing your role. Until they run out of people and hit the bottom. My ex for example went back exactly where I found him 12 years ago. His mother's home.
I am only sorry that I did not kick mine out, but it was me who moved out, and now he lost the apartment anyway.
And if they even do start spreading rumors that I am a lesbian, oh well . . .
I am only sorry that I did not kick mine out, but it was me who moved out, and now he lost the apartment anyway.
And if they even do start spreading rumors that I am a lesbian, oh well . . .
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 21
Thanks - that article is great!
The ex HAS lost so much - multiple jobs, his licence, his home, his wife. And he is struggling to get attention from his kids and his family (who have to now financially support him). So it sort of makes sense that he has to immediately find a new partner. But what does it take before they actually start to question themselves? How far through the process do you think he is before he either realises he needs to help himself or dies? I know I shouldn't care any more as he is no longer my responsibility - but after so many decades it is hard not to.
The ex HAS lost so much - multiple jobs, his licence, his home, his wife. And he is struggling to get attention from his kids and his family (who have to now financially support him). So it sort of makes sense that he has to immediately find a new partner. But what does it take before they actually start to question themselves? How far through the process do you think he is before he either realises he needs to help himself or dies? I know I shouldn't care any more as he is no longer my responsibility - but after so many decades it is hard not to.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 667
Most have given you the same response sentiment I'd express.
Except I'd add, don't take it personal. I was shocked at how my ex would throw any and everyone under the bus to preserve and protect themselves from being examined.
Mine deiced it was best to find the next victim. Which suited me fine.
Don't worry about what others think or have heard. I learned that most people know more about the truth than you realize. I could care less if she demonized me ( I know she did as she demonized all before me).
In the end its how you end up, not them.
Except I'd add, don't take it personal. I was shocked at how my ex would throw any and everyone under the bus to preserve and protect themselves from being examined.
Mine deiced it was best to find the next victim. Which suited me fine.
Don't worry about what others think or have heard. I learned that most people know more about the truth than you realize. I could care less if she demonized me ( I know she did as she demonized all before me).
In the end its how you end up, not them.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
"Do they EVER "get it"?"
some,like myself do "get it." took my fiance tossin me to the curb after another blackout drunk to 'get it"- that being alcohol and myself were the common denominators in all my problems. took her ballin her eyes out the morning after and telling me some of what i had done and said the day/night before while in a blackout THEN tossin me to the curb to "get it" and get help.
many dont.
" Or am I doomed to suffer his wrath indefinitely?"
only if you allow yourself to suffer it.
some,like myself do "get it." took my fiance tossin me to the curb after another blackout drunk to 'get it"- that being alcohol and myself were the common denominators in all my problems. took her ballin her eyes out the morning after and telling me some of what i had done and said the day/night before while in a blackout THEN tossin me to the curb to "get it" and get help.
many dont.
" Or am I doomed to suffer his wrath indefinitely?"
only if you allow yourself to suffer it.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
