Hey there, from Michigan.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3
Hey there, from Michigan.
My name is Adam, I'm 29, allergic to cats, and I'm pretty terrified to stop drinking.
Been struggling a long time. Gave up liquor years ago because of my anxiety issues, but just switched to beer. For some reason the anxiety hangovers from beer weren't as bad as the ones from harder stuff. Anyways, I can't remember when I started drinking so hard, it's been many, many years. I just got out of the Army, and it's the only way I can really be around people. Feel like I'm falling apart. Just on deaths door all the time.
I drink most nights in a week, but sometimes skip a night or two, and I feel okay...ish. Then my train of thought is "See? you're fine, you aren't addicted", then it's right back to drinking enough to floor the Soviet Army.
Anyways...after last night. After waking up on the bathroom floor (again), and finding my toilet full of vomit...I just can't do this anymore. But I'm nervous. I don't want to be killed via DTs or something like that. Today I had some heart palpitations and anxiety but that was all. Hope this doesn't get worse.
Makes it even harder the fact that I work at a bar, that happens to be next door to my favorite bar, in a city coined "Beer City", and I get free shift beers every night (so hard to avoid...). Perfect storm I guess...
I have an appointment with my "health care provider" in a day or so at the VA for something unrelated, but I'm going to bring this up. Maybe he can do some blood work or something to find out if I'm safe? I dunno how that works....
Anyways, thanks for reading.
Been struggling a long time. Gave up liquor years ago because of my anxiety issues, but just switched to beer. For some reason the anxiety hangovers from beer weren't as bad as the ones from harder stuff. Anyways, I can't remember when I started drinking so hard, it's been many, many years. I just got out of the Army, and it's the only way I can really be around people. Feel like I'm falling apart. Just on deaths door all the time.
I drink most nights in a week, but sometimes skip a night or two, and I feel okay...ish. Then my train of thought is "See? you're fine, you aren't addicted", then it's right back to drinking enough to floor the Soviet Army.
Anyways...after last night. After waking up on the bathroom floor (again), and finding my toilet full of vomit...I just can't do this anymore. But I'm nervous. I don't want to be killed via DTs or something like that. Today I had some heart palpitations and anxiety but that was all. Hope this doesn't get worse.
Makes it even harder the fact that I work at a bar, that happens to be next door to my favorite bar, in a city coined "Beer City", and I get free shift beers every night (so hard to avoid...). Perfect storm I guess...
I have an appointment with my "health care provider" in a day or so at the VA for something unrelated, but I'm going to bring this up. Maybe he can do some blood work or something to find out if I'm safe? I dunno how that works....
Anyways, thanks for reading.
The road goes on forever
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Southern USA
Posts: 1,107
Hey Adam... Welcome !
You can do this ... the rewards of sobriety (for me) have been huge.
Please talk to the doctor ... I'm sure VA will be able to help.
I work in Hospitality industry and have somehow become OK to not being tempted ... so it is possible. In fact I wear my sober badge proudly...... not in a pompous way. But as proof to others that it is OK to be sober.
Good luck and looking forward to mor posts from you,
You can do this ... the rewards of sobriety (for me) have been huge.
Please talk to the doctor ... I'm sure VA will be able to help.
I work in Hospitality industry and have somehow become OK to not being tempted ... so it is possible. In fact I wear my sober badge proudly...... not in a pompous way. But as proof to others that it is OK to be sober.
Good luck and looking forward to mor posts from you,
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 114
Hi Adam,
I´m really glad to start my day reading your post. I also felt terrified to quit 4 years ago. The pro´s have far out-weighed the con´s in sobriety-by a landslide.
I tended bar during my pre-sobriety years. Fact is, I was in college for 7 years (I call it the Tommy Boy plan) and tended bar through it. When I got sober is when I finished school and started my professional career.
Change is initially painful, but in the long run, much less painful.
Thanks again for posting and continue to do so!
Best of luck! I hope to hear from you soon
I´m really glad to start my day reading your post. I also felt terrified to quit 4 years ago. The pro´s have far out-weighed the con´s in sobriety-by a landslide.
I tended bar during my pre-sobriety years. Fact is, I was in college for 7 years (I call it the Tommy Boy plan) and tended bar through it. When I got sober is when I finished school and started my professional career.
Change is initially painful, but in the long run, much less painful.
Thanks again for posting and continue to do so!
Best of luck! I hope to hear from you soon
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
I'm a Michigan Army vet, too.
I was in your shoes a long time ago..... but I kept on drinking and drugging and letting it get worse until my 40s.
I suggest you take another path...... it doesn't lead to goodness.
Sobriety is the way to go. Talk to the VA and get yourself counseling. If you're dealing with Anxiety, depression, PTSD, etc - GET THAT ADDRESSED.
And alongside it, get yourself to an AA meeting and get busy CHOOSING sobriety.
Believe me, it will be a life SO much better than you can imagine. It's gonna take work, commitment, discipline.... but you're 20 and you were in the service so it's nothing you can't handle.
Welcome. Get on it!!
I was in your shoes a long time ago..... but I kept on drinking and drugging and letting it get worse until my 40s.
I suggest you take another path...... it doesn't lead to goodness.
Sobriety is the way to go. Talk to the VA and get yourself counseling. If you're dealing with Anxiety, depression, PTSD, etc - GET THAT ADDRESSED.
And alongside it, get yourself to an AA meeting and get busy CHOOSING sobriety.
Believe me, it will be a life SO much better than you can imagine. It's gonna take work, commitment, discipline.... but you're 20 and you were in the service so it's nothing you can't handle.
Welcome. Get on it!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
welcome, adam
theres a lot of sober soldiers in grand rapids.
the doc is good start as withdrawls can be deadly.
might want to look into rehabs or detox centers in GR.
also theres a LOT of AA meetings in GR,too.
theres a lot of sober soldiers in grand rapids.
the doc is good start as withdrawls can be deadly.
might want to look into rehabs or detox centers in GR.
also theres a LOT of AA meetings in GR,too.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 1,742
Hi Adam!
I know that 'rock and a hard place' spot you're writing about. Afraid to stop drinking, terrified to keep it up.
It took me until age 50 to understand I was powerless over alcohol. A lightbulb moment of clarity. Up until then, I had to keep repeating the same mistakes over and over and over.
Is this your lightbulb moment?
I know that 'rock and a hard place' spot you're writing about. Afraid to stop drinking, terrified to keep it up.
It took me until age 50 to understand I was powerless over alcohol. A lightbulb moment of clarity. Up until then, I had to keep repeating the same mistakes over and over and over.
Is this your lightbulb moment?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3
Originally Posted by Carpathia 
Is this your lightbulb moment?
I did quit for 4ish months last year, and I was okay, but I had a really stressful situation thrown on me. Found myself wandering the city, then to the bar, and bought that first drink, and it was all downhill.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
It's great to have you join us, Adam. The encouragement I found here gave me the courage to finally let go of alcohol. It was only bringing me misery and danger. You're so right - it will not get better. I waited until I had relationship, health, & financial issues. I'm glad you're seeing the warning signs & have made the decision to change your life. We know you can.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 21
I went to a 7 day detox place. Medical supervision made sure I was safe and it was easier to withdraw. They also helped me put together a plan for recovery which is working. Got me off drugs and alcohol. Today is day 286.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Cornwall, England
Posts: 250
Hi Adam, I used to have that "see you're not addicted" voice have some time from drugs/alcohol. That voice is a liar, there's a lot more experienced heads on here that can help you through this. I'm a new member here and I find reading other peoples recovery stories very helpful.
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