Llyamah

Hi all

I'm new to this forum. I joined because 7 weeks ago I decided to stop drinking. I'm not sure if I've decided to permanently give it up or temporarily give it up to see if my quality of live improves.

I'm not sure if I am an alcoholic. If there's a spectrum, I'm probably on it, but I've never felt physically addicted to alcohol. I've never woken up wanting a drink. The closest I've come is looking forward to a drink when I am at work, for example.

That said, I don't have a good relationship with alcohol. I binge drink, frequently get off of my face, say stupid things and am sometimes unpleasant to those who I'm close to. My hangovers are dreadful and I despise myself after a heavy drinking session, often feeling that life's pointless, though I'm never suicidal.

Is this forum for the likes of me or is this site more for those who would squarely class themselves as an alcoholic? I'm alive to the possibility that I am in fact an alcoholic, albeit one who doesn't realise it / is in denial.

Anyway, I've decided to give this no drinking business a go, at least for 6 months. So far, I'm not seeing any major improvements in the areas of my life which I feel need it, but I'm hoping these will come. Perhaps my expectations of a miracle after just 7 weeks are too high?!

Thanks for reading.

SimplyFree

Welcome, I was a binge drinker. The counselors and medical doctors didn't flag my drinking as a problem. But alcoholism is progressive and I could feel it progressing. Too much of my life was consumed by thinking of drinking, drinking, and recovering from drinking. And yes the stupid things I did while mpaired were regretful and I hated them. So I'm 84 days into sobriety and life is better by far. No shameful regrets, no hangovers, I don't think about drinking all the time or stare at every liquor store I pass. I'm finding the old healthy me, at least healthier me. Simply, I have no regrets and I look forward to passing 90 days and on. Congrats on 7 weeks and welcome. This a great place!

MidnightRider

Hello and welcome Llyamah -

First off.. Yes this is 100% the place for you!

Plus let me say Congrats on 7 weeks without drinking.
This period shows you are serious about " figuring things out" with your relationship with alcohol.

Have a great day and look forward to your interaction here !

Coldfusion

Welcome Llyamah!

For me, the consequences of drinking increased as my alcoholism progressed. There's no need to go through that!

Seven weeks is awesome! I'm sure you'll learn a lot by reading and posting here.

BrendaChenowyth

I think this forum is for anyone who struggles with drugs or alcohol or is affected by someone else's struggle with drugs or alcohol. If you look at all the subforums, there is quite a spectrum of topics.

You are the only one who knows what's best for you. It took most of us a very long time to decide and accept that we were alcoholics who could not drink under any circumstances. There are people who still hope that will change, and people who believe their substance abuse is situational and temporary. Only time and experience determines that for the individual. It isn't up to anyone else to say.

I will say that alcohol generally doesn't improve anyone's life, whether they are physically addicted or not. A person without an abnormal attachment to alcohol wouldn't even be thinking about it, let alone struggling over whether to have it in their life. There comes a certain point where you want that struggle to go away and the only sure-fire way to eliminate the struggle is to make the decision to abstain for good.. that way you never have to have anxiety about what will happen if you drink again.

tekink

First time I quit I intended it to only be temporary to let my liver heal. I was only at the first stage of damage anyway rite?

Gave it 8 weeks, thought I would moderate, In two days I was drinking morning till night again.

I wasn't a binge drinker so to speak, I tied one on every day morning till night. Starting my days tending bar with a shot of vodka and OJ.

5 months for me tomorrow, I'm never drinking again. Each time I relapsed I was back where I was.

PhoenixJ

Ly- this site is to offer support to any who battle with addiction. Addiction to me is defined as something that changes my behaviour- my pattern of thinking and emotions...and this change is damaging to me and others. It does not matter what the reason for sharing at SR. You have identified you habe a problem with booze. Binge drinking is not normal. Massive hangovers are unsafe.
Welcome.

Llyamah

Thanks for the replies. For me, Brenda's comment seems to make a lot of sense, particularly:

"A person without an abnormal attachment to alcohol wouldn't even be thinking about it, let alone struggling over whether to have it in their life".

Mizzuno

Welcome! Yes you are in the right place.

7 weeks is great work! Keep it up.

What are you doing to change those areas of your life that need improvement? As in steps that are being taken?

JimiC

I drank similarly and I agree that this is the place for you. I'm curious, what benefits have you seen after 7 weeks? Would you mind elaborating on the areas where you're seeking "major" improvements? Just curious as there is so much wisdom and guidance here for us. Stick around.

Personally, I'm about 15 weeks sober and my biggest improvement is my health. I'm so much more active, productive, organized and connected.

One of the many quotes I've saved - Drinking is an excuse not to live life to your full potential. Best of luck!

kenton

Welcome!

I think you are definitely in the right place. I never drank in the mornings and could go days without drinking but when I did.........

Blackouts were becoming normal, I regularly turned into someone who said and did things I would never do or say sober (I would say stuff I never even thought about when sober). It was like I was 2 different people. And when I started drinking I just couldn't stop.

I started getting this uneasy feeling that one day I might do something truly terrible whilst in black out. I didn't want to take that chance. Decided to stop drinking and once I had a few months sober that's when I got it. That's when I realised I was alcoholic. For me, it's only when I let constant sobriety into my life that I realised how controlled by alcohol I had become.

7 weeks is awesome. See how you feel at 6 months. For me by 6 months I'd decided I liked being sober more than I liked being drunk. Good luck

bimbott

Hi Llya,

I wouldn't have said I was an alcoholic a few months ago. I didn't drink during the day, I don't think I was physically addicted. I didn't have crazy withdrawal symptoms when I stopped.

I stopped because I had spent years trying to give up smoking without success and so I decided that maybe if I gave up drinking at the same time I would stand a better chance. It was only after I had stopped drinking that I began to question my relationship with alcohol. I now realise that I had been in massive denial about it. I now realise that I've probably been an alcoholic most of my adult life.

I am just short of 4 months without a drink and I believe I still have a long way to go in recovery. I am still very tired, I have not suddenly found loads of energy, I do not feel like a million dollars. However, I do not wake up hungover every morning, I can drive after 5 o'clock in the evening, I do not feel ashamed of myself all the time.

From what those who have been sober for longer than me have said, the rewards of sobriety don't all come at once. I am looking forward to getting a few more!

7 weeks is great!

least

Welcome to the family and congrats on 7 weeks sober!

poolside

Congrats on the 7 weeks! Well done. 👍

168 days sober here. I chose to quit because, as someone else pointed out above, alcoholism is progressive and I could feel my drinking progressing into areas that started setting off alarm bells.

Congrats, again. Stay strong.

Llyamah

Thank you all for your replies. There's some really interesting / useful insights here and I relate to what a lot of you have said.

As for what improvements am I looking for in life generally and what am I doing about it... I've actually found that a difficult one to answer.

I am especially unhappy with my job at the moment (I am being bullied and there's very little I can do about it, apart from leaving, which I am trying to do, but it's not easy), I lack confidence (constant feelings of not being good enough), I am overweight and generally don't feel very motivated / am lacking energy. I don't actually know what I want to do with my life - I want to be happy, but I don't know what will make me happy! Strange?!

The only big step I've taken has been to stop drinking. I've also started trying to get a bit more exercise in and I'm looking for other job opportunities.

Someone asked about benefits I'm seeing so far. In the main it's only been a loss of weight (about 12lbs). My skin is starting to look a bit better too. My mood and outlook have not drastically improved though.

Dee74

Hi and welcome Llyamah

If your drinking is causing you problems, and you want to quit, you'll find help and support here

D

grayghost1965

A wise old soul once told that if you think it's a problem, then it probably is. Though clinicians/professionals may not be able to fit you in to the textbook definition, it doesn't mean you're not at the very least a problem drinker. Drinking is causing problems, so you're a problem drinker.

I hope you get things sorted out.

Sasha4

I gave up for a month and here I am 5 years later.

I spent a lot of time trying to define myself - alcoholic, binge drinker, alcohol dependent.
While I was doing that I kept drinking.

In the end I decided that alcohol made me unhappy and the people I loved unhappy and that was enough to stop.

I did not need a label. The unhappiness was enough.

I wish you the best and yes you belong here and we are all thrilled to have you here too.

LadyBlue0527

Hi Llyamah, one of the most helpful posts I've seen on this site is from Anna in response to those who question if they have a problem. This is not a direct quote but the gist is it's more about what alcohol does to you when you drink rather than the amount or frequency.

You sound a lot like me, even when I was at the end of my drinking career. Not always, but I could go long periods of time without drinking, even using that as an excuse as to why I didn't have a problem. I was a binger and when I did get the chance to drink it was anyone's guess what the outcome would be.

The behaviour you describe when you drink? I started out the same way and it gets worse. It appears by your post that you have probably made a few people mad and feel bad about it but that's fixable. Trust me, there will come a point where worse things are going to happen.

There's a key phrase in your post. It's about feeling like life is pointless. That's fuel for addiction right there and part of why we are such nice people when we're sober and jacka&$ses when we drink. Because we store all the madness and depression we feel when we're sober and it all comes raging out once the alcohol is present.

Have you had problems with depression?

In finality, you're in the right place. I'm glad you're here. Sounds like you came here at a good time too. Read, read, read, and post, post post. You'll find many other like you, just like me.

August252015

Welcome!!

Glad you are here, like the others said.

I highlighted a couple of your sentences....you have made the BIGGEST, most important choice, whether you are "actually" an alcoholic: you stopped drinking.

Which leads to my second comment- a good question to ask ourselves is what does alcohol ADD to our lives?? Most of us found that at some point, it only TOOK from them; some of us went VERY far down the path of our drinking and lost nearly all. At 503 days sober, I can tell you that there is absolutely nothing that was better about my life when drinking- things like work problems, relationship opportunities (to improve), physical health, and on and on....it's all so vastly improved and different that I am beyond grateful and will not go back - ever.

Everyone's path is different and I personally am ok with the title "alcoholic" and have recently come out very publicly as one because of an industry recovery group I now lead.

I like many have found that a program of action - which would include self-care things like exercise and good eating, but not begin with them- is key to my sobriety and more important, my EMOTIONAL sobriety and peace and strength. My plan is AA and I might suggest that you are at a good point to give meetings a try. Read around here and you will see other options and experiences people have had on their sober journeys.

If you haven't, you could also look at The Class of July 2017 thread under Newcomers Daily Support - you will find others who have quit this month (since you are new to SR now) or go back to the class which is the month you quit (so others at the same point as you - meaning Class of May).

Hope to see you around-
Take care and don't drink - today.
A