Legato525

I'm here again, I wish I knew how I end up here everytime. I'm laying here miserable. I know I'm killing myself and yet have so much to live for. I have to try again, I have to succeed, I have to survive. Sorry for the stupid post, I had to say something.

SimplyFree

Glad you are back here.

MythOfSisyphus

No need to apologize, Legato, and your post isn't stupid. If quitting was easy we wouldn't call it addiction. You have failed, you merely haven't succeeded yet.

Susiegirl

Forget the past and live for today - You slipped up but you can start again and this time next week that slip up will be history that you can forget

PhoenixJ

NOT STUPID!!
You posted- a call for help. There is always someone @ SR. In your real world- you need support. Meetings are free- they offer me a connection and a way of getting out of my head space. ,Lots around- rehab, detox, GP, counsellors, priest, SMART, - your choice, and you have to make that effort.
Support and empathy to you.

August252015

Not stupid at all! We have all been some version of "there."

Don't drink today. Take care of yourself. Use SR for plan ideas, go to an AA meeting if you feel up to it. Repeat tomorrow.

Hope to see you around. You can make this your last time quitting.

Fly N Buy

The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.

This paragraph from the BB of AA pg 24 was still on my clip board as I posted it to another thread this morning. Many of us got into the rinse repeat cycle - some got out in different ways.

Consider reading friends stories on SR with a year or more of sobriety. Likely you'll identify with some things perhaps.

RetiredGuy

Welcome back. Getting and staying sober is indeed hard work but very much worth the effort. I hope the support you find here will help you.

Legato525

Thank you. Here's to day 2.

thomas11

That's how the magic happens....one day at a time. Good job.

Karphil

Day 2 is much better than Day 0. I'm on Day 26, and each day is still a hard-won battle for me. Right now my goal is to be able to wake up tomorrow and say it's Day 27. One day at a time is a very real thing. Whether it's here on SR, at an AA meeting, or someone else you trust, lean on others until you feel stronger. That's what I'm doing, and so far it's working.

Legato525

I threw myself into work today. Try to be somewhat productive. That's a great attitude. My new goal, day 3.

Quit290117

Legato525, well done on three days sober. I know what you mean about being miserable. I feel so low after a binge and each time it gets worse. Currently 20 days without a drink and I can honestly say my anxiety has reduced significantly. Not perfect but getting there. Absolutely shattered the whole time and had a horrible summer cold but feeling much more positive as I approach 3 weeks sober. Stick with it your doing great.

Dee74

Welcome Legato

why not throw yourself into this community and post regularly? You could do a lot worse

D

Legato525

I plan on it. I'm not around family and friends often, so to have community at my fingertips is another great tool. I have been reading so much here. You feel so lonely thinking everyone can do it but you. It feels better to know I'm not alone and that there are people who can help me, and just as important, people I can help.

FLCamper

It is miserable - remember that next time you're tempted! Good job on making it to day 3.
Reading and posting here helped me a lot. It is a relief to know that there are people all over the world who know just what to say and how to help you, particularly in those first few weeks.
And, SR is better than watching TV because no tempting beer commercials will flash across your screen :-)

CreativeThinker

Keep going Legato (and anyone else just starting this journey). It WILL get easier...the more you put into your recovery, the further away you will get from the urge to drink.

D122y

Leg,

AA or Dr.

If you can't stop. Go into either place and ask for help.

Booze is a killer. Folks get down on themselves and give up hope.

Next thing is blackout drinking and anything can happen...including suicide.

Thanks.