Giraffegirl2013

There's a discussion group tonight at AA. I have been to 5 meetings and I want to share really badly, but I'm scared. I have yet to speak to anyone. I am introverted and voluntarily speaking in front of a room full of people is terrifying to me.

I'm tired of going through this by myself. I just want to get it off my chest, but I'm scared. I feel like drinking because I want to get rid of these negative thoughts, but I know it'll only make things worse.

Any advice on sharing for the first time? I guess I'm just scared of being judged.

least

I would be surprised if anyone there judged you.

I find it helps me to admit out loud that it scares me to speak in public.

I'd suggest just starting with a little share, then as you get braver you can share more freely. You'll be alright.

Jules714

Everyone in that room has felt the same way you do right now. I've been to a couple hundred meetings and I still get nervous.
Talk about it, talk about it, talk about it, please! You'll feel much better.
GL
J

Mattq2

I agree with least giraffegirl, I don't find speaking to groups very easy. I have never been to AA but have had to discuss my alcoholism to others in a slightly diffrent way. It was hard to get started but once I did it all just came out. I couldn't stop and got very emotional which is something I never do.
I can say the relief I felt was amazing. After all those years of hiding it was all out in the open. I think it is vital to staying sober. Take the leap and just try. Remember they understand like no one else can. You can do it😀

Gottalife

The first time I spoke at an AA meeting it went like this: My name is Mike and I am an alcoholic and I would just like to listen tonight thank you.

I got a lot from listening. These folks had the solution and that is what I wanted to find out about. I didn't speak any further for quite a while because all I had to share was the problem, and I didn't think I could teach them anything new about that.

A little later, when I had learned something of the program and had a little experience of the steps, I found I had a lot more in common with the recovered folk, and could share in a constructive way.

Dave42001

Hi friend,

First off, you will not be judged. Another thing being a new person you'll find out you're the most inportant person at the meeting.

I'd suggest saying, Hi my name is giraffe girl, I'm new to the program I've only been to a few meetings so I'm a little nervous. I need to get something off my chest so here goes........

I had the same experience, it's normal. But once you start sharing your feelings with another person that has been through the same experience that's when the healing begins.

AA is a WE program, we're all in this together. The people in the fellowship just want to help.. no judgment just unconditional love, might sound corny but that's been my experience and I see it happening all the time!!

Wishing you the best, you'll feel better after the meeting and I bet a group of ladies will want to speak with you after the meeting to offer their help.

I'd also recommend finding a sponsor or even a temporary sponsor to work with you and walk you through the steps.

Please keep us posted! Also stop by the 12 step recovery section here and say hello! Thanks for sharing, good luck to you!!

miamifella

I was also shy about sharing, but I started going to small meetings. When there are only two to ten other people in the room it can be a lot easier to speak.

Giraffegirl2013

Thank you for the support. Tonight was a much smaller meeting so it made it easier to share. I do feel a lot better. My next step will be finding a sponsor. I know I will need one, especially starting a new job and dealing with the consequences of my past.

Berrybean

I think that it is easy to underestimate the importance of the time that brackets the actual meeting proper. I would suggest mentally committing to arriving early to help set up, and staying ten minutes behind to help clear up. As a shy and nervous newcomer at what is now my home group after moving here from a neighbouring city, it was while I engaged in simple shared tasks like putting out or stacking chairs, setting out cups or washing them up, that I was able to establish who the other committed AAers were, who had good quality sobriety (and not all of these people are necessarily the most vocal in the meeting itself) and also was able to start opening up a little myself, grateful for the distraction of the simple jobs we were doing together to deflect too much eye contact, or the fact I was a bit tongue-tied and embarrassed.

A simple way to start sharing in the main meeting is to thank a main speaker, or those who're doing service for their time. It doesn't have to be long, or disclosing personal details. There's plenty of time for all that further down the line. Listening and speaking to others who you meet at the meetings is often more useful in early days than sharing to the whole group during the meeting. And the more meetings you go to and listen in, the more you will get identification and trust that people will not judge you. Give it some time though.

Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB