zoey11

Hi, new here,
My husband's daughter has been an addict most of 25 years, and he sadly, has been her enabler.
He is finally waking up now, and she has once again, been kicked out of rehab and back in jail.
I can't count how many times she has been arrested.
We have paid and paid for her place to live, done the paying for everything so many times, we can no longer do it.
We also can't have her living with us, as she has had tons of chances and never did anything.
I am trying to find a sober living place. She has been clean for five months, due to rehab and jail.
She is talking about getting the vyvance shot, but will she keep getting it? Who knows.
I have called a few sober houses and rehabs with half way houses, and the ones she hasn't already been to, none take a medical card.
Any advice would be helpful.
Oh and my husband and I are going to families annonomous meetings now, to help with his enablement.

Maudcat

Hi, zoey. Welcome.
My brother detoxed in hospital. We worked with the hospital case worker to find a sober house that would take him and his insurance.
Is there a third party with whom you could work? Maybe her physician, if she has one, might have some ideas?
They truly are miracle workers.

PhoenixJ

No advice, unfortunately- many wiser than i have narratives here already. Support and prayers to you and your family.

atalose

What is SHE doing to find herself a sober living place? Why can't SHE work with someone at the jail (social worker) to find a sober living home.

Seems you are doing all of her leg work for her, making it easy for HER to eventually blame you in the event she fails once again. After all it will be YOU would found the place that didn't work for her. It will be YOUR fault if she gets kicked out AGAIN.

I'd focus on working with your husband on boundaries and sticking to them and allow his adult daughter to handle her own affairs.

zoey11

Have to agree with you.
My husband is just now waking up, and told her she would have to make arrangements to go to another rehab, and continue going until she completes it and works in a halfway house before we can help her or trust her.
I doubt she will complete any over 30 days, as she can't follow rules and isn't used to consequences. Hopefully, he will stick to this new found independence from her and let her face her own consequences. Time, always time,will tell the story, except now, I am not willing to pay to see, to play the game.

Carlotta

I agree with Atalose, let her stand up like an adult and take ownership of her recovery. I would suggest that SHE looks up Oxford Houses in your state. There might be some for women who have openings. Now whether she looks it up or not is her call.
Take care of yourself

atalose

I read this a long time ago……..

If the addict is pleased with your help you’re probably enabling. If the addict is pissed as hell you’re probably helping the person you love.

Maybe it’s time for you to start thinking of your own boundaries with your husband regarding his “help” of rescuing his daughter from the natural consequences of her actions. What may be his consequences if he jumps in to “help” her again.

tomsteve

vyvance-used to treat attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) in adults .
also used to treat moderate to severe binge eating disorder in adults.
it can be addictive.
and she is talking about vyvance for???


How to find a sober house?
the addict/alcoholic WANTING a sober house goes on the WWW and starts making phone calls.

zoey11

She has ADHD and bipolar. She wants to start Vyvance when she gets out because it has helped several people we know to prevent them from getting high, therefore, no reason to want to do drugs if there is no high. Her doctor recommended it for her.
I get it, I have had all I can take. I have helped my husband wakeup to a lot of things he used to never be able to not do, but he still has a way to go.
I will check out the sober house mentioned above and he can give it to her in jail.