Day 3 - Having a bad one :(
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Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 54
Day 3 - Having a bad one :(
Struggling today my emotions are all over the place feel that the world is against me and just want to hide away. Events and emotive situations are evolving that I just feel that I can't cope with and it makes me want to hit the vodka ... I can't go back ... sorry just needed to let that out 
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Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 87
Day 3 is a mess, I didn't think I'd make it, but I did and so can you! So glad you came here and posted instead of hitting the bottle immediately! How are you doing now dreamsoffreedom? Sending you strength, we can do this! Keep posting!
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Emotions were hard for me to deal with, too. It's part of early sobriety. Then I would hear that little voice, "A drink would fix it," and for a little while it would.
It gets better! So much better...but there will be some discomfort for a while. It is so worth it to stay sober. Hang on! This too shall pass.
It gets better! So much better...but there will be some discomfort for a while. It is so worth it to stay sober. Hang on! This too shall pass.
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,649
I found it so hard because I really thought that I could not handle the emotions. I had used alcohol for so long to become numb, and not feel anything, that the idea of feeling was just too much.
As soon as I would start to feel something, I would panic and think, I have to have a drink, I can't deal with this: whether it was anxiety, anger, sadness, loneliness, joy, happiness, peacefulness, love, or hate. I couldn't handle any of it.
Or so I thought.
I learned with the help of discussing things with my sponsor, reading about mindfulness, reading about just about any kind of self help there is, that I actually could endure the crisis of feeling. I would look at the clock and think, here it comes. First the emotion, anger, happy, whatever, then the instant response to grab a drink and drown it.
But I would look at the clock and watch the clock as the emotion peaked and subsided and then, it just went away after a while, within minutes, and was replaced by something else.
With time, that panic disappeared and I could meet emotions on equal ground and not be afraid to feel. It might help to write down what you are feeling. You can get through this!
As soon as I would start to feel something, I would panic and think, I have to have a drink, I can't deal with this: whether it was anxiety, anger, sadness, loneliness, joy, happiness, peacefulness, love, or hate. I couldn't handle any of it.
Or so I thought.
I learned with the help of discussing things with my sponsor, reading about mindfulness, reading about just about any kind of self help there is, that I actually could endure the crisis of feeling. I would look at the clock and think, here it comes. First the emotion, anger, happy, whatever, then the instant response to grab a drink and drown it.
But I would look at the clock and watch the clock as the emotion peaked and subsided and then, it just went away after a while, within minutes, and was replaced by something else.
With time, that panic disappeared and I could meet emotions on equal ground and not be afraid to feel. It might help to write down what you are feeling. You can get through this!
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,476
Originally Posted by dreamsoffreedom 
At the moment I am just trying to remember how ill I felt physically on day 1 and trying to tell myself that blocking out the emotions is not worth the physical pain but it's sooooo hard
Hang in there, you will be glad that you didn't give in to your AV. Trust us, it will get better soon!
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Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 54
Thank you ...
I was nearly 7 months sober prior to my recent 6 day binge/blip/relapse I'm too embarrassed to reach out to AA or my therapist especially feeling like this aggghhhhhh!! Sorry for my ramblings .....
I was nearly 7 months sober prior to my recent 6 day binge/blip/relapse I'm too embarrassed to reach out to AA or my therapist especially feeling like this aggghhhhhh!! Sorry for my ramblings .....
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Yeah, I agree with CT. No one in AA will be surprised at your recent relapse. They've seen in many times. Get back into the fold. Your therapist will be supportive, too.
Don't let shame and regret drive you, let hope and faith be your guides.
Don't let shame and regret drive you, let hope and faith be your guides.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 54
Hi Dee. It's the morning of Day 4 for me today and although I've had zero sleep I feel a lot more positive so far! I contacted my AA contact yesterday and everyone was right I had nothing to be embarrassed about 
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