Extreme anxiety over risk of drinking again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 39
Extreme anxiety over risk of drinking again
Hi!
I've posted before, being proud of over 2 years sober, then relapsed over physical pain (teeth, jaw, face). It was 3 months of binging, pure hell. Got sober again, reached 1 month milestone, so proud and calm.
Then the pain came back last week (nothing extreme, but it was there) - I went back to drinking immediately (did not enjoy it at all).
Now I'm on Day 5 and my anxiety is through the roof, even though I'm on a bunch of medication (including Xanax) to control it. It's extreme!
It's as if I've set a pattern: pain = must drink, I'm powerless! What if pain comes back again, I am scared to hell I will resume drinking again. Even Xanax does not take that fear away
Any advice on how to deal with this?
I've posted before, being proud of over 2 years sober, then relapsed over physical pain (teeth, jaw, face). It was 3 months of binging, pure hell. Got sober again, reached 1 month milestone, so proud and calm.
Then the pain came back last week (nothing extreme, but it was there) - I went back to drinking immediately (did not enjoy it at all).
Now I'm on Day 5 and my anxiety is through the roof, even though I'm on a bunch of medication (including Xanax) to control it. It's extreme!
It's as if I've set a pattern: pain = must drink, I'm powerless! What if pain comes back again, I am scared to hell I will resume drinking again. Even Xanax does not take that fear away
Any advice on how to deal with this?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,671
Have you sought medical advice for the cause fo the pain? Be carfeul with Xanax. I have constant pain . I breath- using mindful stuff, it mkes the seconds- the waves of intense pain at least bearable. Try to distract. A movie, music, post here. BREATHE. Support to you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 39
Sure, I've seen a lot of specialists, most of them are puzzled. The most meaningful diagnosis I have received is a combination of TMJ and trigeminal neuropathy (not neuralgia). The most prominent neurology professor in the country said: hopefully you will get better, some day. Not very encouraging, to say the least.
My psychiatrist (spelling?) even prescribed haloperidol for my pain related OCD. It worked for a while like a charm. Now it does not seem to help much, as I constantly expect pain.
My psychiatrist (spelling?) even prescribed haloperidol for my pain related OCD. It worked for a while like a charm. Now it does not seem to help much, as I constantly expect pain.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
I had similar pain and it was excruciating - it took me many doctors to find the right treatment.
For me that was Endep, an older style anti-depressant for nerve pain.
As mad with pain as I got, I never considered drinking because deep down I know it wouldn't help.
You know that too.
Try and be rational - you will find a solution to this and one day this pain will be in your past. Don't lose faith
D
For me that was Endep, an older style anti-depressant for nerve pain.
As mad with pain as I got, I never considered drinking because deep down I know it wouldn't help.
You know that too.
Try and be rational - you will find a solution to this and one day this pain will be in your past. Don't lose faith
D
All is Change
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,284
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Northeast, USA
Posts: 275
Hi Ugnius,
Welcome back to SR.
I've been a member less than two months, but I have similar pain as you, except that mine is constant (and has been for more than a year; was intermittent for a year-and-a-half before that). I have also seen numerous specialists with a similar outcome: puzzlement from most, and for me ultimate diagnoses of trigeminal neuralgia and TMJ.
None of the treatments thus far have been effective. (Dee, thanks for the info about Endep; I took amitriptyline for awhile for something else but will revisit with my GP for this.)
My pain also led me to self-medicate with alcohol. But that only worked for awhile and the final two months of that journey were some of the worst days of my life. As much as I am in constant pain now (my teeth/jaw/face pain also extends to my neck and shoulders), it is better than drinking. Which, given my pain (and anxiety around that), is saying something. I am in pain all day, every day, and it is hard to think of or do anything else.
Like PhoenixJ, I am also looking into and trying to develop a meditation practice. Netflix and Amazon video have become my new best friends as I use both as a distraction for much of the day. And for me, finding SR has been critical in keeping me from drinking (have only drank 4 times since quitting at the end of February). Posting and reading here has helped me through some tough days.
I don't have an answer. I wish I did. All I can say is that I understand and you are not alone. Stay close and don't give up hope.
Welcome back to SR.
I've been a member less than two months, but I have similar pain as you, except that mine is constant (and has been for more than a year; was intermittent for a year-and-a-half before that). I have also seen numerous specialists with a similar outcome: puzzlement from most, and for me ultimate diagnoses of trigeminal neuralgia and TMJ.
None of the treatments thus far have been effective. (Dee, thanks for the info about Endep; I took amitriptyline for awhile for something else but will revisit with my GP for this.)
My pain also led me to self-medicate with alcohol. But that only worked for awhile and the final two months of that journey were some of the worst days of my life. As much as I am in constant pain now (my teeth/jaw/face pain also extends to my neck and shoulders), it is better than drinking. Which, given my pain (and anxiety around that), is saying something. I am in pain all day, every day, and it is hard to think of or do anything else.
Like PhoenixJ, I am also looking into and trying to develop a meditation practice. Netflix and Amazon video have become my new best friends as I use both as a distraction for much of the day. And for me, finding SR has been critical in keeping me from drinking (have only drank 4 times since quitting at the end of February). Posting and reading here has helped me through some tough days.
I don't have an answer. I wish I did. All I can say is that I understand and you are not alone. Stay close and don't give up hope.
Mr
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: FRANCE
Posts: 5,230
Im not much of an advisor but perso i do have constant muscle pain / nerve pain. I had it so bad that i couldnt open my hand or fully straighten my right arm, knot in stomach etc. My doc told me it was linked to the fact i am riddled with stress and anxiety. It multiplies by 100000000 just before a stressful or anxious occasion
One piece of advice i would be so bold as to give is : teeth !
Keep your teeth in check, their wired into everything
One piece of advice i would be so bold as to give is : teeth !
Keep your teeth in check, their wired into everything
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 39
Thank you for the replies!
I have tried Endep, I do not tolerate it well (just like Ssri antidepressants), so I am now on carbamazepine, xanax and antipsychotics.
The prospect of pain getting worse or constant sends me into a full-blown panic. I have struggled with this condition for years (and selfmedicating with alcohol) which has led me to not being able to drink ever again. I guess it's the kindling effect, each withdrawal is worse.
The pain was in remission 2 years ago (it was a window of opportunity to have a baby, no medication required). I had a dream to have two babies, close in age, but now it seems the dream is out of reach.
Though I must admit it's encouraging to read that dealing with chronic pain does not include alcohol for others. I must rewire my brain to keep alcohol out of the picture, no matter what. Currently, I am scared I will not be able to
I have tried Endep, I do not tolerate it well (just like Ssri antidepressants), so I am now on carbamazepine, xanax and antipsychotics.
The prospect of pain getting worse or constant sends me into a full-blown panic. I have struggled with this condition for years (and selfmedicating with alcohol) which has led me to not being able to drink ever again. I guess it's the kindling effect, each withdrawal is worse.
The pain was in remission 2 years ago (it was a window of opportunity to have a baby, no medication required). I had a dream to have two babies, close in age, but now it seems the dream is out of reach.
Though I must admit it's encouraging to read that dealing with chronic pain does not include alcohol for others. I must rewire my brain to keep alcohol out of the picture, no matter what. Currently, I am scared I will not be able to
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
So sorry for your pain ordeal. I don't have advice on that but I DO have experience with working a strong recovery program. What are you doing on that end to stay sober? For me, drinking again is completely off the table no matter what; I am a dedicated AAer so learning other solutions for my problems, life issues, etc, has been critical to my sobriety.
My best to you for all of the things you are facing.
My best to you for all of the things you are facing.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Hi Ugnius - I understand the fear that the pain might persist or return but what you have to believe is alcohol is not the solution.
The thing to try and remember is that repeated application of alcohol will only increase your anxiety...I ended up with not only the anxiety I had initially but added anxiety because I started craving alcohol.
I hope that the pain relief regime you're on now will work for you
D
The thing to try and remember is that repeated application of alcohol will only increase your anxiety...I ended up with not only the anxiety I had initially but added anxiety because I started craving alcohol.
I hope that the pain relief regime you're on now will work for you
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Fairfield County, CT
Posts: 110
My dad suffered from trigeminal pain for years so I totally empathize with your pain. He was on so many pain meds for years. He finally had a surgical procedure where a surgeon went in, isolated the trigeminal nerve and wrapped it in a Teflon like substance which totally alleviated his pain. I know everyone is different and neurology is a vast specialty but maybe something to inquire about?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Northeast, USA
Posts: 275
Hi, just checking back in this morning.
Ugnius, oh no! The last thing I wanted to do was trigger your anxiety about having this get worse for you. Please, please try to let that go. Even though we have what may be similar conditions, every person is unique. Every person responds differently to environmental stresses, meds, and other factors that affect their health.
Please don't give up on your dreams. Part of my pain is due to my circumstances, as well as my own personal genetics and medical history. Also, if you are still childbearing age, I am much older than you; I am in my mid-50s.
You and I are not the same. You have had this intermittently. It may go away. I've been told the same; mine may end at some point too. I know of two cases of people I know who said that truly, one day it just went away.
What I'm saying is that you don't know the future (nobody does) so try (and I know this is a hard thing to ask), but please try not to worry about it coming back, and as everyone else has said, regardless, alcohol is not the answer.
And, as a note, I am trying to get an MRI to see if there is any visible evidence of nerve compression that could be operable. There are always choices. Please don't give up. You can do get through this.
Again, I am so, so sorry I triggered more anxiety; please forgive me. And please keep posting and reading.
Ugnius, oh no! The last thing I wanted to do was trigger your anxiety about having this get worse for you. Please, please try to let that go. Even though we have what may be similar conditions, every person is unique. Every person responds differently to environmental stresses, meds, and other factors that affect their health.
Please don't give up on your dreams. Part of my pain is due to my circumstances, as well as my own personal genetics and medical history. Also, if you are still childbearing age, I am much older than you; I am in my mid-50s.
You and I are not the same. You have had this intermittently. It may go away. I've been told the same; mine may end at some point too. I know of two cases of people I know who said that truly, one day it just went away.
What I'm saying is that you don't know the future (nobody does) so try (and I know this is a hard thing to ask), but please try not to worry about it coming back, and as everyone else has said, regardless, alcohol is not the answer.
And, as a note, I am trying to get an MRI to see if there is any visible evidence of nerve compression that could be operable. There are always choices. Please don't give up. You can do get through this.
Again, I am so, so sorry I triggered more anxiety; please forgive me. And please keep posting and reading.
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