Divorcing/Separating - Class of 2017 April Check Ins
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 182
Divorcing/Separating - Class of 2017 April Check Ins
Hi Classmates - I hope you're all feeling some amount of peace this month. Just wanted to check in with all of you. Sorry to be starting up late in the month but I'm working on a big project at the office. The cool thing about this project is that I don't come home every night to a drunk person calling me useless, lazy, worthless, spoiled, etc. That peacefulness has really helped me keep it together during this busy time.
On the less peaceful side, it seems that my STBXAH is getting triggered occasionally when he becomes aware that I'm interacting with the outside world and enjoying it - not dating, just going to fun events with friends once every few weeks, hanging out with my family or planning a trip. I don't bring my activities up, but he's aware of them because we share a child. When he gets triggered, he calls me the next day - drunk- and wants to talk about our financial settlement.
Originally, he was going to let me wait to buy him out of our home after our child graduated from high school - not anymore. That's fine. In essence, I'll be renting my home from the bank after I refinance, but I can live with that.
Originally, we were going to split of the contents of our home very informally. We don't have a lot of stuff and the valuable things are his separate property. However, something triggered him the other day and he started calling (I didn't pick up) and then texted "Is Easter Sunday a good day for the moving truck?" Um, for what? He wanted to come pick up what I "promised" him in an email. Well our divorce isn't final and no, Easter Sunday isn't a good day. This came out of the blue. I told him that if he violated our temporary orders by removing items from our home I would call the police. His answer - "Why the drama?" This after he had been in our home the evening before after bringing the child back from visitation and everyone, including him, was as pleasant as pie. Oh well.
I hope you are all doing well on your respective paths. I wouldn't be enjoying this beautiful Spring day, watching my kid play with his friends had I not found Sober Recovery. It helped me save my life. Love to all of you. Let us know how you're doing this month. I'm just trying to get to the finish line of divorce.
On the less peaceful side, it seems that my STBXAH is getting triggered occasionally when he becomes aware that I'm interacting with the outside world and enjoying it - not dating, just going to fun events with friends once every few weeks, hanging out with my family or planning a trip. I don't bring my activities up, but he's aware of them because we share a child. When he gets triggered, he calls me the next day - drunk- and wants to talk about our financial settlement.
Originally, he was going to let me wait to buy him out of our home after our child graduated from high school - not anymore. That's fine. In essence, I'll be renting my home from the bank after I refinance, but I can live with that.
Originally, we were going to split of the contents of our home very informally. We don't have a lot of stuff and the valuable things are his separate property. However, something triggered him the other day and he started calling (I didn't pick up) and then texted "Is Easter Sunday a good day for the moving truck?" Um, for what? He wanted to come pick up what I "promised" him in an email. Well our divorce isn't final and no, Easter Sunday isn't a good day. This came out of the blue. I told him that if he violated our temporary orders by removing items from our home I would call the police. His answer - "Why the drama?" This after he had been in our home the evening before after bringing the child back from visitation and everyone, including him, was as pleasant as pie. Oh well.
I hope you are all doing well on your respective paths. I wouldn't be enjoying this beautiful Spring day, watching my kid play with his friends had I not found Sober Recovery. It helped me save my life. Love to all of you. Let us know how you're doing this month. I'm just trying to get to the finish line of divorce.
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: east coast
Posts: 532
HI All. My divorce was done in January. Now I am waiting on the financial settlement. XAH refusing to negotiate- probably will go to court. The next date is a 15 minute meeting with judge and both lawyers on June 21. Ugh.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Wow, I guess I didn't realize just how easy I had it...my hat is off to those of you who are having to live with this hanging over your heads for weeks and months and more! What a great job of detaching and getting on w/your own lives, really impressive.
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