Sasha1972

Hello,

I'm new here, trying to work out co-parenting with an alcoholic ex-spouse. I just learned about SoberLink, a remote alcohol-monitoring system. Something like this could be very useful for enhancing peace of mind when ex is with our kid (ex claims to be abstinent but I don't think this is true. However, there is no evidence that they are currently drinking while the kid is with them).

Has anyone used this system or something similar? How did it work out? Pros and cons? Tips?

Thanks in advance!

hopeful4

I wish I had gotten this into my divorce decree. There are others here who have used this with success. I tired to get my XAH to do it voluntarily, he refused.

Good luck!

shockozulu

My landlady's daughter got this as part of her co-parenting agreement during separation with her husband. It was court ordered. It worked until he filed and the court ruled he had showed he was doing well and had this removed. He's back to drinking like a fish so have it part not just of the separation agreement but also divorce. Its a lot harder legally to get these overturned if it's part of the divorce agreement.

Sasha1972

Thanks! Our divorce agreement was finalized a couple of years ago (when ex was not as deeply into addiction as they are at present), so this would need to be a voluntary thing. I'm thinking of presenting it as "I know you want to spend more time with kid, and I know kid wants to spend more time with you, but your drinking creates a problem for me to increase kid's time with you. This technology would make it a lot easier for me to agree to kid spending extended visits with you. It's win-win (I hope!)".

hopeful4

I hope that you are able to get him to agree voluntarily, that would be ideal.

shockozulu

How about rephrasing "I know you want to spend more time with the kids.... If you agree to SoberLink I do not see why that couldn't happen."

I've found with the alcoholics in my life direct I statements without wiggle room work much better. Just something to think about.

batchel9

I really like this Soberlink concept but how do people pay for it??! It is expensive! Am I missing something or do people just bite the bullet??

Forward12

You can try it and see, offer to pay for it, but my guess is he likely will refuse if he is seriously drinking.