Frustrated partner..anyone here to chat with?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 2
Frustrated partner..anyone here to chat with?
Hi
I am currently in a relationship with a man who's functioning very well yet has to be drunk 5/7 nights a week..
Totally desperate for advice,someone to talk with because as yet I've hidden this from all my family & friends
I am currently in a relationship with a man who's functioning very well yet has to be drunk 5/7 nights a week..
Totally desperate for advice,someone to talk with because as yet I've hidden this from all my family & friends
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Hi, and welcome.
Doesn't sound to me like he's "functioning" if he's drunk 5 nights a week. He may LOOK, to other people, like he's OK, which is another matter entirely.
Apart from what he's taking away from you by being a checked-out drunk 5/7ths of the time he is at home, "functional" alcoholism is a stage, not a type. This disease is progressive, and what you see right now will be the very BEST he will ever be, unless he decides to do the hard work of getting sober and staying that way. And right now it doesn't sound like he's got any inclination to do that--not that you've mentioned, anyway.
I think I'd be considering moving on.
Doesn't sound to me like he's "functioning" if he's drunk 5 nights a week. He may LOOK, to other people, like he's OK, which is another matter entirely.
Apart from what he's taking away from you by being a checked-out drunk 5/7ths of the time he is at home, "functional" alcoholism is a stage, not a type. This disease is progressive, and what you see right now will be the very BEST he will ever be, unless he decides to do the hard work of getting sober and staying that way. And right now it doesn't sound like he's got any inclination to do that--not that you've mentioned, anyway.
I think I'd be considering moving on.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Hi, Lsa--welcome to SR. Glad you found us here. A great way to get started is to:
1) Read, read, read around the forum--make sure not to miss the stickies at the top of the page. You'll learn a lot about alcoholism, codependence, Alanon, and more, as well as hearing from a lot of folks in all different stages of recovery.
2) Post and tell us a little more about yourself.
You are NOT alone. Looking forward to hearing more from you.
1) Read, read, read around the forum--make sure not to miss the stickies at the top of the page. You'll learn a lot about alcoholism, codependence, Alanon, and more, as well as hearing from a lot of folks in all different stages of recovery.
2) Post and tell us a little more about yourself.
You are NOT alone. Looking forward to hearing more from you.
LoveHateMerlot
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Texas
Posts: 68
Hi Lsa79, it sounds like 2/7 nights he's trying to "not" drink and stay sober, it's a matter of time before it can turn into drinking 7 nights a week. Have you told him how it makes you feel when he drinks? How much are you invested in this relationship? Being a partner to an alcoholic takes a lot of energy: time away from your own professional and social life, unconditional love, educating yourself on the disease to help yourself, and there are a lot of broken promises you have to get used to. If you believe that he is ready to change, if you see a spark of desire that he wants to improve his life, then I would say you have a chance at a successful relationship.
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