Optimistic Quackalicious Rebuttal
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Optimistic Quackalicious Rebuttal
Thank you so much to the sharp-witted among you who pointed out that my STBXAH's request to discontinue sobriety monitoring was a compendium of quacks.
I used that insight to go through his argument point by point, identifying the quack strategy in each case (deflection, denial, minimization), and contrasting what he was saying to the evidence.
After reading my rebuttal, my attorney--whom those who have been following this case know advised me not to fight him--has done a 180 and now thinks that he and his attorney will want to settle in the hallway rather than taking this to the judge.
What happens remains to be seen (Thursday morning), but I am so grateful to your support for encouraging me to press forward despite my attorney's concerns, and for helping me recognize and describe the evidence for my STBXAH's disease that he himself provided to the judge. Thank you.
I used that insight to go through his argument point by point, identifying the quack strategy in each case (deflection, denial, minimization), and contrasting what he was saying to the evidence.
After reading my rebuttal, my attorney--whom those who have been following this case know advised me not to fight him--has done a 180 and now thinks that he and his attorney will want to settle in the hallway rather than taking this to the judge.
What happens remains to be seen (Thursday morning), but I am so grateful to your support for encouraging me to press forward despite my attorney's concerns, and for helping me recognize and describe the evidence for my STBXAH's disease that he himself provided to the judge. Thank you.
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Quacktum mechanics, PJ: exactly 
The encyclopedia of quackery. Quackepedia. Maybe that's what we should rename the "quackers" thread.
Yes, I will update when I hear more, and I appreciate any and all good jiu jitsue sent in the general direction of the left coast of the continental U.S.
Right now I'm enjoying the idea of STBXAH reading my analysis of his arguments, and, as my attorney pointed out, feeling the bricks that just tore through his illusion of control.
(Don't worry; I know anything could still happen. But I wouldn't want to be his attorney right now, as I imagine she's caught between those bricks and STBXAH's hard, alcoholic, head.)
The encyclopedia of quackery. Quackepedia. Maybe that's what we should rename the "quackers" thread.Yes, I will update when I hear more, and I appreciate any and all good jiu jitsue sent in the general direction of the left coast of the continental U.S.
Right now I'm enjoying the idea of STBXAH reading my analysis of his arguments, and, as my attorney pointed out, feeling the bricks that just tore through his illusion of control.
(Don't worry; I know anything could still happen. But I wouldn't want to be his attorney right now, as I imagine she's caught between those bricks and STBXAH's hard, alcoholic, head.)
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Your positivity absolutely shines through in your post! It's so awesome!
It is just so empowering when we realize we can see clearly through that murky, mucky mess alcoholics are constantly swimming in and flinging at us.
I'm so happy for you that not only have you the clarity you need to navigate his crap, you also have the strength to use it... and get other people to see it. Amazing.
Hang in there! Can't wait to hear the outcome of this... I have a good feeling.
It is just so empowering when we realize we can see clearly through that murky, mucky mess alcoholics are constantly swimming in and flinging at us.
I'm so happy for you that not only have you the clarity you need to navigate his crap, you also have the strength to use it... and get other people to see it. Amazing.
Hang in there! Can't wait to hear the outcome of this... I have a good feeling.
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omg. STBXAH filed a response to my rebuttal, continuing to insist that he's not an alcoholic and that I'm the delusional one.
Ugh.
I just hope the judge rules on the side of caution (protecting our children) rather than risk (trusting a proven heavy drinker).
And I'm taking solace in what you all said about having done the best I could. I did, and I am.
Ugh.
I just hope the judge rules on the side of caution (protecting our children) rather than risk (trusting a proven heavy drinker).
And I'm taking solace in what you all said about having done the best I could. I did, and I am.
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Did you really expect him to roll over and say, "She's right, I'm a mess and I'm barely holding it together, so sign me up for more monitoring"?
He's doing exactly what one would expect. His attorney may be advising him to just do the damn monitoring, but he's got a position (and an addiction) to protect.
He's doing exactly what one would expect. His attorney may be advising him to just do the damn monitoring, but he's got a position (and an addiction) to protect.
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Thank you so much for making me laugh out loud, Lexie. I really needed that. Because yes, of course, Pollyanna here did expect him to roll over and say 'she's right, I'm a mess, bring on additional monitoring.' That's exactly what I was expecting/hoping, which just goes to show that I may be every bit as delusional as he's insinuating, just not in the way he claims.
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Bad news. Judge gave a "preliminary judgment" (without a hearing) in STBXAH's favor. He said that my evidence (journal and doctor's note) was hearsay and that STBXAH's year of monitoring on alternate weeks was compelling evidence that he doesn't have a problem with alcohol. He didn't say anything about my point-by-point rebuttal of STBXAH's claims. Maybe he didn't read it.
He also said that our children (10, 14, 16) are old enough to monitor their dad if necessary.
Wow.
My attorney said the judge has a Napoleon complex, so calling a hearing anyway will almost certainly not help and might make the situation worse.
I think this case shows why we need more women on the bench. I don't believe a mother would have made the same ruling.
I'm pretty sure no one who has dealt with alcoholism would have made this ruling either. I've never seen any evidence about what alternate weeks of sobriety means, nor did the judge cite any.
Well, I knew it was going to be hard, and I gave it my all. I take consolation in that, and fact that STBXAH is on warning now that if he messes up, he really messes up.
(Except, if he messes up and harms our daughters in any way . . . . that's no consolation.)
On top of everything . . . tonight is our middle daughter's birthday, so we're all going out for dinner together. Fun.
He also said that our children (10, 14, 16) are old enough to monitor their dad if necessary.
Wow.
My attorney said the judge has a Napoleon complex, so calling a hearing anyway will almost certainly not help and might make the situation worse.
I think this case shows why we need more women on the bench. I don't believe a mother would have made the same ruling.
I'm pretty sure no one who has dealt with alcoholism would have made this ruling either. I've never seen any evidence about what alternate weeks of sobriety means, nor did the judge cite any.
Well, I knew it was going to be hard, and I gave it my all. I take consolation in that, and fact that STBXAH is on warning now that if he messes up, he really messes up.
(Except, if he messes up and harms our daughters in any way . . . . that's no consolation.)
On top of everything . . . tonight is our middle daughter's birthday, so we're all going out for dinner together. Fun.
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You put forth a lot of effort to protect your kids and its really commendable. Signs of a really good mom !
Im not surprised by the Judge's decision. It is really good your kids are older and can speak up if they have any future concerns. Hopefully there will be none. And you know, you got him to do the monitoring for a whole year - he knows your on top of things where the kids are concerned. Thats very important!
I hope you can all still enjoy the dinner and be able to come together and celebrate at the birthday party.
Im not surprised by the Judge's decision. It is really good your kids are older and can speak up if they have any future concerns. Hopefully there will be none. And you know, you got him to do the monitoring for a whole year - he knows your on top of things where the kids are concerned. Thats very important!
I hope you can all still enjoy the dinner and be able to come together and celebrate at the birthday party.
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