Court Hearing March 7th
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 299
Court Hearing March 7th
Hi,
Spoke with my lawyer finally. We are going to meet this Friday to prepare for our March 7th court date.
My lawyer doesn't feel we need to much preparation. He feels it should be very simple. Just dividing everything 50-50. And figuring out the worth of all of our assets.
My lawyer stated that there was a new ruling that came down from the Supreme Court , that allows us to go back to when we were first together, not married, to figure out the division of things.
Also he stated the court wants to hear the DV extension objection made by my AH, that afternoon at the final hearing.
I'm really wish my lawyer didn't think this was so simple! I'd think if it was simple we wouldn't be having the court decide how things are going to be divided!
I'll have my time to discuss this with him on Friday. My lawyer is acting like it's a given we get 50-50 split!
From everything I've learned going through this over the past year, nothing in life is a given.
Also, sometimes if you ask for more than you want, you'll get what you expect!
Z
Spoke with my lawyer finally. We are going to meet this Friday to prepare for our March 7th court date.
My lawyer doesn't feel we need to much preparation. He feels it should be very simple. Just dividing everything 50-50. And figuring out the worth of all of our assets.
My lawyer stated that there was a new ruling that came down from the Supreme Court , that allows us to go back to when we were first together, not married, to figure out the division of things.
Also he stated the court wants to hear the DV extension objection made by my AH, that afternoon at the final hearing.
I'm really wish my lawyer didn't think this was so simple! I'd think if it was simple we wouldn't be having the court decide how things are going to be divided!
I'll have my time to discuss this with him on Friday. My lawyer is acting like it's a given we get 50-50 split!
From everything I've learned going through this over the past year, nothing in life is a given.
Also, sometimes if you ask for more than you want, you'll get what you expect!
Z
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Your lawyer is experienced in these things. Nothing is ever guaranteed, but I'd give his opinion quite a bit of weight. Lawyers usually don't want to give their clients higher expectations than are warranted.
And the reason you are having the court decide the division of assets isn't because it's complicated, it's because your ex is a d*ckhead who refuses to be reasonable.
And the reason you are having the court decide the division of assets isn't because it's complicated, it's because your ex is a d*ckhead who refuses to be reasonable.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
I have to say, throughout your entire ordeal, I have been thinking that at least here where I live, it's pretty cut and dry. You split the assets 50/50 and if you cannot refi the house, you have to buy the other party out w/in a certain amount of time. There are clear cut rules about what is hands off, such as assets willed to you, etc.
Stay calm friend. You are so close.
Hugs.
Stay calm friend. You are so close.
Hugs.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 299
Hi,
Me Again. I'm so not good a modulating my emotions and feelings.
Today, I've been writing down my thoughts for the judge regarding the reason I want the DV order to remain in place.
I also started writing things about the division of our property, business, and his retirement accounts.
While doing this, I didn't realize how much money I contributed to this union! It is astounding!! Just to name a few things, I sold my house and most of the money went into our home. All my inheritance went to start our business, support my AH while he had no income, and to buy a lot of land across the street from our home. During the marriage, I always worked, and had a very healthy income.
Im realizing that my AH was very lucky I was such a good provider.
Now he doesn't want to give me even half of what we have. Incredible since I probably put into this marriage 80% financially.
I so hope I get 1/2. If I do, I'll feel very happy!!
I can't wait till this is over. It's hard to have your life in the hands of a judge, who doesn't know anything about you. Just heard the bias opinions of your AH.
I think I'm getting really anxious about this!!
Thanks for listening. It really helps me to put feelings where they belong!
Z
Me Again. I'm so not good a modulating my emotions and feelings.
Today, I've been writing down my thoughts for the judge regarding the reason I want the DV order to remain in place.
I also started writing things about the division of our property, business, and his retirement accounts.
While doing this, I didn't realize how much money I contributed to this union! It is astounding!! Just to name a few things, I sold my house and most of the money went into our home. All my inheritance went to start our business, support my AH while he had no income, and to buy a lot of land across the street from our home. During the marriage, I always worked, and had a very healthy income.
Im realizing that my AH was very lucky I was such a good provider.
Now he doesn't want to give me even half of what we have. Incredible since I probably put into this marriage 80% financially.
I so hope I get 1/2. If I do, I'll feel very happy!!
I can't wait till this is over. It's hard to have your life in the hands of a judge, who doesn't know anything about you. Just heard the bias opinions of your AH.
I think I'm getting really anxious about this!!
Thanks for listening. It really helps me to put feelings where they belong!
Z
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 299
Update
Hi,
Met with my lawyer today regarding my DV hearing, which is the same day as my final divorce hearing. My AH, of course is fighting the extension. His lawyer stated I was lying about him putting a gun to his head, and put in her objection that it wasn't included in the original DV petition. I have a copy and it is clearly written there, with the date it happened. Doesn't his lawyer read the documents before writing her objection. I'm going to have my my lawyer there with me this time. I promised myself, I'd never go into a court room again without a lawyer.
So, the DV extension will be heard from 1-1:30, the divorce hearing from 1:30-4:00.
My lawyer got the judges decision on our motions to compel. She ruled that they have to give us a copy of the trust, and all the business financial records. My AH lawyer was requested that I have to pay his attorney fees. The judge ruled that she'd wait till the final hearing to make that ruling. I'm very nervous about that! I don't have the money to pay my own!
My lawyer keeps insisting this is a simple divorce, division of assets 50-50. I hope so!
I have lost so much!
My lawyer also agrees, that my AH is going to get a rude awakening when he realizes he's not getting it all. He also told me that the court will probably give him 90 days to refi the house. Again, how ridiculous is that! He has had no income for almost 2years. No back will Liam him money! Why would the court waste time like that!
My head is spinning!! Not much more I can do, just wait I guess.
It's hard when you have your whole life is hanging in the balance!
Sorry, I have all these thoughts in my head, hoping I'm prepared, my lawyer is prepared, and the judge, who's a new judge can see the truth.
Z
Met with my lawyer today regarding my DV hearing, which is the same day as my final divorce hearing. My AH, of course is fighting the extension. His lawyer stated I was lying about him putting a gun to his head, and put in her objection that it wasn't included in the original DV petition. I have a copy and it is clearly written there, with the date it happened. Doesn't his lawyer read the documents before writing her objection. I'm going to have my my lawyer there with me this time. I promised myself, I'd never go into a court room again without a lawyer.
So, the DV extension will be heard from 1-1:30, the divorce hearing from 1:30-4:00.
My lawyer got the judges decision on our motions to compel. She ruled that they have to give us a copy of the trust, and all the business financial records. My AH lawyer was requested that I have to pay his attorney fees. The judge ruled that she'd wait till the final hearing to make that ruling. I'm very nervous about that! I don't have the money to pay my own!
My lawyer keeps insisting this is a simple divorce, division of assets 50-50. I hope so!
I have lost so much!
My lawyer also agrees, that my AH is going to get a rude awakening when he realizes he's not getting it all. He also told me that the court will probably give him 90 days to refi the house. Again, how ridiculous is that! He has had no income for almost 2years. No back will Liam him money! Why would the court waste time like that!
My head is spinning!! Not much more I can do, just wait I guess.
It's hard when you have your whole life is hanging in the balance!
Sorry, I have all these thoughts in my head, hoping I'm prepared, my lawyer is prepared, and the judge, who's a new judge can see the truth.
Z
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I think you're gonna be just FINE. His lawyer sounds sloppy, to say the least. Often failure to include a particular incident in the original petition IS grounds for not permitting evidence on it at a later hearing, but dang, yeah, it's a good idea to check what WAS in the original petition before you make it an issue.
I wouldn't worry about having to pay his attorney's fees. He's the one who's been obstructionist. Did you ask to be sure your lawyer has asked for him to pay YOUR fees? Not that he will necessarily pay them, but if it's part of the order he will have to pay them eventually.
I would object to more time to refinance. He's had a ton of time and if he hasn't found a deal by now he isn't likely to. But if they give him a couple more months, it's not the end of the world. I'd ask the questions, "What has changed since three months ago that leads you to believe you will be able to refinance now, when you could not then? Did you not make an effort to do so?" If he just didn't try till now, that cuts against it, I would think. If he HAS tried, what's changed? If he's claiming he's penniless, and suddenly can afford to refinance, then MAYBE he's been less than forthcoming about other things, hmm???
Keep telling yourself, that whatever the outcome, you will be OK. You will, you truly will.
I wouldn't worry about having to pay his attorney's fees. He's the one who's been obstructionist. Did you ask to be sure your lawyer has asked for him to pay YOUR fees? Not that he will necessarily pay them, but if it's part of the order he will have to pay them eventually.
I would object to more time to refinance. He's had a ton of time and if he hasn't found a deal by now he isn't likely to. But if they give him a couple more months, it's not the end of the world. I'd ask the questions, "What has changed since three months ago that leads you to believe you will be able to refinance now, when you could not then? Did you not make an effort to do so?" If he just didn't try till now, that cuts against it, I would think. If he HAS tried, what's changed? If he's claiming he's penniless, and suddenly can afford to refinance, then MAYBE he's been less than forthcoming about other things, hmm???
Keep telling yourself, that whatever the outcome, you will be OK. You will, you truly will.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 299
Hi,
I think I'm just getting very nervous about Tuesday. My lawyer emailed me the business checking account statements his lawyer faxed him. Maybe I'm wrong, but you can't tell a lot about a business financials by just checking account statements. It doesn't give you details , like bills paid out, OT expenses, and receipts taken in. The court ordered him to give us all business financials, quarterlies and tax statements. All we got was checking acct statement. It had checks paid out, but not to who. I know one of the checks was my AH car payment. How do we know what my AH is doing with the money. Am I interpreting what the court requested him to give us wrong??
I just want to be as informed as I can be when I go to court.
Z
I think I'm just getting very nervous about Tuesday. My lawyer emailed me the business checking account statements his lawyer faxed him. Maybe I'm wrong, but you can't tell a lot about a business financials by just checking account statements. It doesn't give you details , like bills paid out, OT expenses, and receipts taken in. The court ordered him to give us all business financials, quarterlies and tax statements. All we got was checking acct statement. It had checks paid out, but not to who. I know one of the checks was my AH car payment. How do we know what my AH is doing with the money. Am I interpreting what the court requested him to give us wrong??
I just want to be as informed as I can be when I go to court.
Z
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
You asked for certain things, he didn't give them to you. IOW, you're right.
Get on the phone with your lawyer. Maybe he thinks you will have an advantage in court on Tuesday if he can lay out for the court all the ways they have refused to cooperate with the process, and that any doubts should be construed in your favor. I'm just guessing. You'd have to ask HIM--your lawyer, that is.
Get on the phone with your lawyer. Maybe he thinks you will have an advantage in court on Tuesday if he can lay out for the court all the ways they have refused to cooperate with the process, and that any doubts should be construed in your favor. I'm just guessing. You'd have to ask HIM--your lawyer, that is.
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