My Introduction
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 4
My Introduction
Hey everyone, my name is Andrew. I'm 22 and have a serious drinking problem. I'm in the military and am newly married. I have a little story to open up and hopefully someone reads this.
I got married last September. My wife is the most beautiful amazing thing to ever happen to me. In November I got a DUI and drove into another vehicle. The military made me go to intensive outpatient and I didn't take it too seriously. I thought "hell I just need to be more responsible" Well the weekend I finished, it was her birthday and I just got straight hammered and destroyed the house. Horrible. I just thought I went to bed, since that's where I started drinking. I had no remembering I did anything of that sort. Since I'm so level headed sober I wouldn't imagine I would do that drunk.
Feeling horrible about that, I made the choice to drink to forget the last time I drank. It was a work day and I made the choice not to go. Being in the military that's just something you DON'T do. I reached out to my superior and told him I needed help. My wife is leaving me, my work center can't trust me. I made the decision to go to rehab. I am leaving Wednesday and going to take it seriously. My wife won't be here when I get back and that will be a major trigger for me to return to the use of drinking. I came here hoping to find people with relatable situations. I know I deserve no sympathy for what I have done. But just need some support to become a better person. That's all I can do. I want to be better now. I want to be sober. But for some reason I feel like I'm not in control of myself. AND IT'S FREAKING SCARY! How can a person like myself not be in control of myself. Hopefully going to rehab I can win my wife back. I go on deployment in July. So I won't have a whole lot of time with her to MAYBE fix things. She cares, but I keep putting the drink in front of her.
If anyone is out there that I can call, text or email before I decide to drink I would appreciate it. I think AA calls that a sponsor. I only have 2 days. I'm living with my wife until I leave. And she leaves march until May. So maybe there is a chance to win her back, sober myself and become a better human being in the long run for everyone. Thank you for reading... I really appreciate it.
I got married last September. My wife is the most beautiful amazing thing to ever happen to me. In November I got a DUI and drove into another vehicle. The military made me go to intensive outpatient and I didn't take it too seriously. I thought "hell I just need to be more responsible" Well the weekend I finished, it was her birthday and I just got straight hammered and destroyed the house. Horrible. I just thought I went to bed, since that's where I started drinking. I had no remembering I did anything of that sort. Since I'm so level headed sober I wouldn't imagine I would do that drunk.
Feeling horrible about that, I made the choice to drink to forget the last time I drank. It was a work day and I made the choice not to go. Being in the military that's just something you DON'T do. I reached out to my superior and told him I needed help. My wife is leaving me, my work center can't trust me. I made the decision to go to rehab. I am leaving Wednesday and going to take it seriously. My wife won't be here when I get back and that will be a major trigger for me to return to the use of drinking. I came here hoping to find people with relatable situations. I know I deserve no sympathy for what I have done. But just need some support to become a better person. That's all I can do. I want to be better now. I want to be sober. But for some reason I feel like I'm not in control of myself. AND IT'S FREAKING SCARY! How can a person like myself not be in control of myself. Hopefully going to rehab I can win my wife back. I go on deployment in July. So I won't have a whole lot of time with her to MAYBE fix things. She cares, but I keep putting the drink in front of her.
If anyone is out there that I can call, text or email before I decide to drink I would appreciate it. I think AA calls that a sponsor. I only have 2 days. I'm living with my wife until I leave. And she leaves march until May. So maybe there is a chance to win her back, sober myself and become a better human being in the long run for everyone. Thank you for reading... I really appreciate it.
All is Change
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,284
I hope you find the way. It probably means never picking up that first drink ever again and facing the consequences of that. That can be done and a happy life can be had. You have a chance. Take it. Best wishes.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: CA
Posts: 1,060
Welcome Gainhope, I have been in similar situations. I would suggest calling AA central office in your area and basically tell them what you posted here. They will have phone numbers of people to call. They can also arrange a ride for you to meetings where you can get more support and phone numbers.
many prayers and keep posting it helps
many prayers and keep posting it helps
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi GainHope
If you post here when you're in trouble, dozens of people will help - guaranteed
I know you want to fix things with your marriage but I'd focus on staying sober as your primary focus because nothing else will happen without that.
People react to the changes - real changes - they see in us - I hope in this case it will be a good thing for you and your marriage
D
If you post here when you're in trouble, dozens of people will help - guaranteed
I know you want to fix things with your marriage but I'd focus on staying sober as your primary focus because nothing else will happen without that.
People react to the changes - real changes - they see in us - I hope in this case it will be a good thing for you and your marriage
D
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Gain,
22 is a tough age to quit drinking once you get hooked. I remember. No hangovers, strong. Drink all day and night.
My drunk buddy got a dui in the military and he had to sign a contract to not drink for 3 years.
The military doesn't care if you drink, just don't get in trouble w alcohol.
You can recover, and do 20, seen it...but you will always have the stain on you.
Most folks in the military don't understand alcohol addiction.
AA has a hotline. I prefer to stay anonymous here. If you have issues and think you are going to drink or do something serious..e.g. hurt someone...check in here. Calling 911 will end up getting you in more trouble. That is a last resort.
Stay clean.
22 is a tough age to quit drinking once you get hooked. I remember. No hangovers, strong. Drink all day and night.
My drunk buddy got a dui in the military and he had to sign a contract to not drink for 3 years.
The military doesn't care if you drink, just don't get in trouble w alcohol.
You can recover, and do 20, seen it...but you will always have the stain on you.
Most folks in the military don't understand alcohol addiction.
AA has a hotline. I prefer to stay anonymous here. If you have issues and think you are going to drink or do something serious..e.g. hurt someone...check in here. Calling 911 will end up getting you in more trouble. That is a last resort.
Stay clean.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Andrew - I'm so sorry for the anguish this has caused you. I'm very glad you decided to join us. Dee's right - there will always be someone to listen and care.
Drinking changed me into a stranger too. Only I didn't stop in my 20's - I kept going with it for many more years. I nearly lost my life trying to control how much I drank. This won't happen to you. We're happy you're here.
Drinking changed me into a stranger too. Only I didn't stop in my 20's - I kept going with it for many more years. I nearly lost my life trying to control how much I drank. This won't happen to you. We're happy you're here.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,462
Gain,
I am ex-military so I am aware of how the military views a problem like this. First ,at least when I was in ,the military has plenty of programs to help soldiers with both drug and alcohol problems. I would take advantage of any support they can give you. It's free. I also know they will only put up with so much before they send you home for good.
You are so young and have so much of your life in front of you. You need to fix this now. You have to get very serious about sobriety and make it a priority. If your like me moderation will not work. You will just keep re-living the same nightmare with the same outcome.
I can also relate to your marital problems. Had them too for years. I got sober a few times when she threaten to leave only to dive right back to drinking as soon as things got a little better.
You have to do it for you my friend. I guarantee if you try sobriety for awhile things will get better. It's hard but many have done it.
I'll be watching for you pal.
I am ex-military so I am aware of how the military views a problem like this. First ,at least when I was in ,the military has plenty of programs to help soldiers with both drug and alcohol problems. I would take advantage of any support they can give you. It's free. I also know they will only put up with so much before they send you home for good.
You are so young and have so much of your life in front of you. You need to fix this now. You have to get very serious about sobriety and make it a priority. If your like me moderation will not work. You will just keep re-living the same nightmare with the same outcome.
I can also relate to your marital problems. Had them too for years. I got sober a few times when she threaten to leave only to dive right back to drinking as soon as things got a little better.
You have to do it for you my friend. I guarantee if you try sobriety for awhile things will get better. It's hard but many have done it.
I'll be watching for you pal.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,513
Welcome, and please post here any time you need support. This is a very active forum and we do understand.
And, try to remember that alcoholism is not a character defect. It's a disease and you can recover and heal. Do this for yourself and I hope your wife will see that you are changing.
And, try to remember that alcoholism is not a character defect. It's a disease and you can recover and heal. Do this for yourself and I hope your wife will see that you are changing.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 106
Sounds like you have admitted that you've got a drinking problem to yourself. That's the first step. And just by joining this website you are taking a step in the right direction to get back on track. There are some really good people on this site with a lot of sobriety under their belts. Lot of good resources. Welcome and stay strong! It's never too late to stop and you are still very young.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
when I was about your age, and in the military, I went into a drunken rage and destroyed property on base. I leaped from a moving vehicle. I attempted to beat up the military police. I jumped out of a second story barracks window.
They never referred me to treatment.... back then, there really wasn't an option for that. They kind of brushed it under the rug and told me I'd better not let that happen again. I made it through and out honorably, but I kept on drinking.
I wound up getting two DUIs in the coming decade and a half. Nearly a third, but I fled the scene and they couldn't prove that one, so it was just a hit and run charge.
I went through almost twenty years of somehow making it out alive, somehow not killing anyone, somehow not going to prison. But I spent a lot of money. I got divorced twice. I wound up in a lot of jail cells and trouble and I can't even tell you how many hundreds of days I wasted... vomiting my guts out.... pounding headaches.... runining my glorious moments of life.
It's hard to get your head around at 22.... hard to come to terms with the idea of never drinking.... but let me tell you friend; if I had it to do over again I would do absolutely EVERYTHING and ANYTHING I had to do - to get those years back and to have cherished my life instead of squandered so much of it pouring poison down my throat and paying the consequences.
You have been given a gift... a gift of awareness. You are here. You see it clearly. You can now choose; turn this around NOW and build a life for yourself that will be quite blessed, beautiful and all you can hope or dream of.......
Or keep on drinking and watch this get a whole lot more miserable.
I finally got sober and I'll tell you what; it's SO much better that way.
You can do it.
They never referred me to treatment.... back then, there really wasn't an option for that. They kind of brushed it under the rug and told me I'd better not let that happen again. I made it through and out honorably, but I kept on drinking.
I wound up getting two DUIs in the coming decade and a half. Nearly a third, but I fled the scene and they couldn't prove that one, so it was just a hit and run charge.
I went through almost twenty years of somehow making it out alive, somehow not killing anyone, somehow not going to prison. But I spent a lot of money. I got divorced twice. I wound up in a lot of jail cells and trouble and I can't even tell you how many hundreds of days I wasted... vomiting my guts out.... pounding headaches.... runining my glorious moments of life.
It's hard to get your head around at 22.... hard to come to terms with the idea of never drinking.... but let me tell you friend; if I had it to do over again I would do absolutely EVERYTHING and ANYTHING I had to do - to get those years back and to have cherished my life instead of squandered so much of it pouring poison down my throat and paying the consequences.
You have been given a gift... a gift of awareness. You are here. You see it clearly. You can now choose; turn this around NOW and build a life for yourself that will be quite blessed, beautiful and all you can hope or dream of.......
Or keep on drinking and watch this get a whole lot more miserable.
I finally got sober and I'll tell you what; it's SO much better that way.
You can do it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,315
I've been there too.
Complete memory loss. Blackout drunk.
It's true at 22 it's going to take absolute commitment.
But this is a great chance for you.
It would without doubt be the best thing you could for your life.
Everything will turn around.
Complete memory loss. Blackout drunk.
It's true at 22 it's going to take absolute commitment.
But this is a great chance for you.
It would without doubt be the best thing you could for your life.
Everything will turn around.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,673
GH- you need to do this for you. If you do not -your wife, the military- the career- money, friends -will not be there anyway. I was at an AA meeting recently where there was a guy similar to you- fresh out of the military. He had got pissed with an automatic weapon with other soldiers in a Hum-Vee on the frontline of some battle in the middle east on NYE. If any body should know about risky behaviour - that situation screams red flags. That is how strong addiction is. It defies logic and reason. It requires the same level of commitment you would have had to face when going into the military. Do your rehab, go to AA, see a doctor, get a therapist/counsellor. Do what ever it takes. But do it- for YOU.
My thoughts and support to you.
My thoughts and support to you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Great to hear this update and excellent news.
Going back to 'the real world' will bring challenges, but you can do this..... getting sober at your age will be such an incredible gift if you choose to accept and honor it.
Stick close, stick around, keep sharing and keep your head in SOBRIETY.
Going back to 'the real world' will bring challenges, but you can do this..... getting sober at your age will be such an incredible gift if you choose to accept and honor it.
Stick close, stick around, keep sharing and keep your head in SOBRIETY.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
I had many fine Ladies in my life who fired warning shots over the bow of my ship telling me to -- stop getting hammered. They didn't care if I got high but, not hammered. Problem is for a drunk like me in due time I always once again find myself out of control -- thus alcoholic.
If you are in this same boat the only way out is total abstinence.
You can do it -- take rehab very seriously. This may be the last straw before the house burns down.
M-Bob
If you are in this same boat the only way out is total abstinence.
You can do it -- take rehab very seriously. This may be the last straw before the house burns down.
M-Bob
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
Welcome GainHope!
I remember being trapped in that horrible cycle of doing things that made me feel guilt and shame and then drinking more to forget and making it all even worse.
In-patient treatment and AA saved my life when i was 21. I was so desperate to escape that hell that I was willing to follow direction from others who knew how to stay sober. And that was even though I couldn't even imagine a life without drinking. Since the alternative seemed worse, i stuck it out, did what I was told and life really did begin to get better. I got my self-respect back too.
Rely on those who know what to do, work at it, and you can save yourself from a lifetime of misery.
I remember being trapped in that horrible cycle of doing things that made me feel guilt and shame and then drinking more to forget and making it all even worse.
In-patient treatment and AA saved my life when i was 21. I was so desperate to escape that hell that I was willing to follow direction from others who knew how to stay sober. And that was even though I couldn't even imagine a life without drinking. Since the alternative seemed worse, i stuck it out, did what I was told and life really did begin to get better. I got my self-respect back too.
Rely on those who know what to do, work at it, and you can save yourself from a lifetime of misery.
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