Thinking to much, about the wrong ****
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 7
Thinking to much, about the wrong ****
Only been sober since Sunday. I am now dealing with liver related health issues. It is my priority to get my health back. I am hoping I do not hear that C word next week. Pray for me please. Very scared.
But the dumb ass I am, I find myself imagining family parties, visiting with friends around a Bon fire, travelling this winter to Jamaica for a wedding, etc. without drinking! Drinking ruined so many things in my life. So so so many things. Why do I think like this!! How do I have fun without alcohol? What do I tell all my family and friends? Ahhhhhhh
But the dumb ass I am, I find myself imagining family parties, visiting with friends around a Bon fire, travelling this winter to Jamaica for a wedding, etc. without drinking! Drinking ruined so many things in my life. So so so many things. Why do I think like this!! How do I have fun without alcohol? What do I tell all my family and friends? Ahhhhhhh
Last edited by Dee74; 02-08-2017 at 06:34 PM.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Great Outdoors
Posts: 1,992
Prayers.
You can say no thanks. I don't drink any more. You can carry around you own insulated coffee mug (the tall kind) with a lid and tell them you don't need any...you brought your own.
You can skip any event until you feel strong enough that you can be around alcohol without being tempted. Heck I missed the Super Bowl parties.
All kinds of things you can do. Just don't drink.
Alcohol is poison.
Liver disease is a tough one. I wish you well.
You can say no thanks. I don't drink any more. You can carry around you own insulated coffee mug (the tall kind) with a lid and tell them you don't need any...you brought your own.
You can skip any event until you feel strong enough that you can be around alcohol without being tempted. Heck I missed the Super Bowl parties.
All kinds of things you can do. Just don't drink.
Alcohol is poison.
Liver disease is a tough one. I wish you well.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi and welcome nonotyet 
Many of us feared for our lives - it's a scary thing. I know and I'm sorry you have to go through that.
I got much better results than I feared - I'm hoping your results will be the same
Try not to worry about the future...if we stay sober, things have a way of working out.
I never thought I'd live without alcohol, but not only have I learned to fo that but I've grown to prefer it this way.
It took a lot of commitment and a lot of changes but I'm in a far far better place now than I was 10 years ago
This is a great place for support - you're among friends here
D
Many of us feared for our lives - it's a scary thing. I know and I'm sorry you have to go through that.
I got much better results than I feared - I'm hoping your results will be the same
Try not to worry about the future...if we stay sober, things have a way of working out.
I never thought I'd live without alcohol, but not only have I learned to fo that but I've grown to prefer it this way.
It took a lot of commitment and a lot of changes but I'm in a far far better place now than I was 10 years ago
This is a great place for support - you're among friends here
D
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Hi Nonotyet - welcome to SR.
I had the same thoughts right after quitting. It made no sense because I knew drinking was destroying my life. I knew it could never be fun again. I was dependent on it and only living half a life - in a fog and miserable most of the time. Eventually I adjusted to the new normal - and was so happy to be free. You'll get there. I'm sorry for your health concerns - will be sure to send up some prayers for you.
I had the same thoughts right after quitting. It made no sense because I knew drinking was destroying my life. I knew it could never be fun again. I was dependent on it and only living half a life - in a fog and miserable most of the time. Eventually I adjusted to the new normal - and was so happy to be free. You'll get there. I'm sorry for your health concerns - will be sure to send up some prayers for you.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,513
Hi, I hope that you get some good news about your health issues. It's very scary in early recovery because we have to stop and look at the reality that we've created with our drinking. You can get through this and live a happy life.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Midwest U.S.
Posts: 142
Originally Posted by Nonotyet 
I am now dealing with liver related health issues. It is my priority to get my health back. I am hoping I do not hear that C word next week. Pray for me please. Very scared.
Originally Posted by Nonotyet
How do I have fun without alcohol? What do I tell all my family and friends? Ahhhhhhh
When the addiction is in control, we can be scared that our lives are possibly in danger from cirrhosis and yet still be concerned about how to have fun without drinking and what our family and friends will think of us. In a potential life-or-death situation, the only reasonable option is to immediately do everything possible to stay alive.
I say that not to be blunt or rude, but to point out what I see as a person in recovery myself. I've been there and I know all the inventions that our brains will undertake in an effort to avoid the brutal truth. The addiction is controlling your thinking - not your best/highest self.
If you're in a burning house, you get out as soon as possible. Keep thinking of that as your metaphor.
Stick around; this community is very helpful. I hope the news about your health is positive.
ABW1
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
Nonotyet,
it's mot the least bit dumbass to imagine future holidays, gat-togethers, special occasions and just ordinary future evenings sober.
in fact, it's very smart and badass!
it' one of the things i did a lot of: change the pictures in my imagination, from drinking on all these occasions and non-occasions to pictures in my mind of doing things while sober. relaxing soberly. celebrating soberly. being angry soberly. or scared or happy or irritated or calm...
filling my mind with pictures of a sober future helped me a great deal to stop thinkingit wsn't possible.
congratulations on you sober days, and keep going.
it's mot the least bit dumbass to imagine future holidays, gat-togethers, special occasions and just ordinary future evenings sober.
in fact, it's very smart and badass!
it' one of the things i did a lot of: change the pictures in my imagination, from drinking on all these occasions and non-occasions to pictures in my mind of doing things while sober. relaxing soberly. celebrating soberly. being angry soberly. or scared or happy or irritated or calm...
filling my mind with pictures of a sober future helped me a great deal to stop thinkingit wsn't possible.
congratulations on you sober days, and keep going.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Hi there-
I was in a scared, liver-damaged place when I quit too. I was so close to cirrhosis that I was petrified (finally! I'd been told about that brink I was on well before) and am so lucky that after very high enzyme results plus other bad news on the physical score, my results came back smack normal after about 3 months.
The beginning was to get well for me. Mainly physically. Everything else, besides not drinking, could and would wait- everything takes time.
It's normal to wonder the things you are, and plenty of others, and the hard - but also good- reality is that it all takes time and you can get to the other side where your life and mind and emotions do not revolve around drinking.
Taking care of yourself is priority one now. You can do it.
I was in a scared, liver-damaged place when I quit too. I was so close to cirrhosis that I was petrified (finally! I'd been told about that brink I was on well before) and am so lucky that after very high enzyme results plus other bad news on the physical score, my results came back smack normal after about 3 months.
The beginning was to get well for me. Mainly physically. Everything else, besides not drinking, could and would wait- everything takes time.
It's normal to wonder the things you are, and plenty of others, and the hard - but also good- reality is that it all takes time and you can get to the other side where your life and mind and emotions do not revolve around drinking.
Taking care of yourself is priority one now. You can do it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 7
I just think how reckless I was with myself and the people I love. Today I cried for first time realizing that I really screwed it up. I had to give 10 viles of blood for my doc appointment a week this Friday. Unsure of what I will do if I did screw it all up.
Thank you for all the kind words.
Thank you for all the kind words.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
may i suggest you do a lot of proactive things instead of just waiting in fear and letting your future actions re sobriety be determined by waiting and by results fro those tests.
in the meantime, which is always now, you can do a whole lot to better your situation.
spending time here is a good start.
in the meantime, which is always now, you can do a whole lot to better your situation.
spending time here is a good start.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Cincinnati
Posts: 103
My counselor gave me 3 things to do when I first wake up in the morning. I thought maybe you can do them too!!
1) Make Gratitude list ( 10 things your grateful for)!!
2) Take 3 minutes out to do some deep breathing.
3) Journal what you're going to do today!
1) Make Gratitude list ( 10 things your grateful for)!!
2) Take 3 minutes out to do some deep breathing.
3) Journal what you're going to do today!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 140
Nonotyet, you've come to the right place my friend. I too have been sober since last Sunday on the advice of my doctor. I also have been really daunted by the prospect of Christmas's, birthdays, holidays when I can't drink, because drinking is what I associate with all the emotions of fun, enjoyment and relaxation that come with those occasions.
I know it's hard to imagine living life without alcohol, but you've got to believe we can, and that it'll be better. Frankly it sounds like we have no choice.
I know it's hard to imagine living life without alcohol, but you've got to believe we can, and that it'll be better. Frankly it sounds like we have no choice.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 106
I'm at that stage right now too, Nonotyet. For one, my liver is shutting down. I don't think I have cirrhosis yet, but if not, I am very close. My doctor has said I only have a few years left if I don't get my act together. Not trying to leave my son without a role model.
You also wrote about living life without alcohol. It is hard to think about at this stage, but possible and even better, in many respects.
Try to formulate a game plan for sobriety and include some of those things that you used to love doing sober back in the day. GL
You also wrote about living life without alcohol. It is hard to think about at this stage, but possible and even better, in many respects.
Try to formulate a game plan for sobriety and include some of those things that you used to love doing sober back in the day. GL
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Welcome to SR Nonotyet, and other newbies.
You can do this, the advice from Alan was good. Also, you only need to focus on staying sober one day at a time, if that sounds too daunting then one hour, or even one minute.
In the past I found myself romanticizing alcohol as well. I couldn't imagine not being able to enjoy a glass of wine with a nice meal, or not be able to toast at a wedding. However, I never just enjoyed one glass of wine with a nice meal, my alcohol bill was often more than my food, and I may not have remembered exactly what I ate the next day. As for the wedding toasts, I was there to celebrate two people starting their lives together, and that should be my focus, nor whether or not there was an open bar.
Your thoughts will start to shift, the first few weeks, even months can be difficult, but cravings do. It last long, and whenever I had one I played the tape through and thought about how I would feel the next morning if I drank.
I spent some time on this site alternating between periods of sobriety, and failed attempts at moderartion. However on NYE 2015 I finally said enough, and have not had a sip of alcohol since.
You can do this.
Try to keep busy until your test results come back, and keep posting here, we will all be here to support you!
You can do this, the advice from Alan was good. Also, you only need to focus on staying sober one day at a time, if that sounds too daunting then one hour, or even one minute.
In the past I found myself romanticizing alcohol as well. I couldn't imagine not being able to enjoy a glass of wine with a nice meal, or not be able to toast at a wedding. However, I never just enjoyed one glass of wine with a nice meal, my alcohol bill was often more than my food, and I may not have remembered exactly what I ate the next day. As for the wedding toasts, I was there to celebrate two people starting their lives together, and that should be my focus, nor whether or not there was an open bar.
Your thoughts will start to shift, the first few weeks, even months can be difficult, but cravings do. It last long, and whenever I had one I played the tape through and thought about how I would feel the next morning if I drank.
I spent some time on this site alternating between periods of sobriety, and failed attempts at moderartion. However on NYE 2015 I finally said enough, and have not had a sip of alcohol since.
You can do this.
Try to keep busy until your test results come back, and keep posting here, we will all be here to support you!
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