ronositi

Hi,

I was looking for recovery/support forums this afternoon and happened upon this one. I was surprised to find I already had an account created from years ago!

A little bit about me and my journey: I've been to inpatient treatment twice - in 2012 and 2014. I've been "around" recovery for years, but haven't really taken it seriously until this past relapse.

I've been clean for 99 days now and am feeling better overall, but have been struggling a bit recently. I'm supposed to be starting an outpatient program soon, hopefully some day this week and I'm getting anxious about that. I've also been rather lonely the past week or so, and have been having cravings here and there.

I'm hoping that being on this forum can add to all the support I already have, and potentially facilitate easier communication for some of the issues I struggle to speak about with others.

Thanks for having me!

starstarstar

Congratulations on 99 days!

MsCooterBrown

Hi ronositi! I am just wondering...does something trigger the cravings or are they just hitting out of no where? One of my examples is...as odd as it seems..we have drive thru liquor stores here. You roll up to the window and they hand it out..you don't even have to get out of the car. I refuse to even drive by them. I take a different route to get around. Sometimes just changing your daily patterns will help squash the cravings. You outpatient program will be beneficial as well. Hope to see you often ...SR really helps me. Sharing experiences and ways that people handle their sobriety makes me feel I am not alone. Hope to see more posts from you.

ronositi

I'd say it's in tandem with the feelings of loneliness and isolation, which typically come from a lack of intimacy or closeness. When I'm not intimate with anyone, I become insecure and hopeless about that changing in the future, and that makes me want to run and hide (behind drug use).

I've met a lot of great people in the past couple months, but few who I feel a strong connection towards. There are a lot of things I want to open up about and share, but I often get lost and confused, thinking too much about what these relationships are to me, and how much I want to let people in.

It's important for me to have a variety of different people in my support network, but I think in having that value, I overanalyze what I can and can't say to one individual, and so sometimes end up talking myself out of saying anything at all. Emotions build up behind all of this and I get stressed, anxious and start to crave an escape from the despair.

alyn528

Congrats on 99 days!!! That's amazing!!
Just for Today: I don't have all the answers, but I know where to find the ones that matter, Today, I will ask another addict, "How does it work?"

entropy1964

Hi Ron. Congrats on 99 days.

For me cravings, thoughts of drinking, are normal. I just accept that I will have them from time to time. But drinking is not an option. When I accept that fact and surrender to it the cravings and thoughts have no fuel.

I am a member of AA. I think its an excellent program when it is followed. And the meetings/fellowship are awesome....and I get to meet other alcoholics. Maybe lend a helping hand, forget about myself a little bit. Its a good thing.

Upstairs

Well, welcome to SR! And congrats on your 99 days! Read and post

ronositi

Thanks for the support. I do attend both AA and NA meetings regularly, about five or six a week for the past few months. I haven't been working with a sponsor, however, and I think it's time for me to change that. I've been putting it off until I get into an outpatient program, but it becomes more evident each day why I need to have one.

Hevyn

It's great to have you back, ronositi. 99 days is fabulous. I'm glad you're doing all you can to stay on track. It really helps to talk things over here, with people you can relate to.

january161992

heres a chip for ya

SoberLeigh

Welcome to SR, ronositi; very glad that you are here and want to include SR as part of your recovery plan.

Congratulations on 99 sober days; that's fantastic.

Please let us know how things go with out-patient.

Dee74

Welcome to the posting side of things ronosti - tons of support and good ideas here. 99 days is nothing to sneeze at

D