Kyng

Last night I was working, (I work in an arena operating a zamboni), and my boss decided to drop by with his buddy to work on a piece of equipment in the zamboni room. They brought two fifteen packs of beer and were getting loaded for the last 3 hours of my shift. I have to pass through this room about twice an hour. Every time I went in there they would just keep talking to me, beer in hand. As I was leaving I was about to say goodbye, and they go "what? Do you want a beer or something?" I politely rejected, but realized that the snark in their voice was directed at the fact that I had shown up drunk 7 days ago.

Today, I go up to the cafeteria to buy a couple ginger ales, and the cafeteria lady says "what's that for? Mix?".

I think today I'm just realizing that I have a reputation as a drunk at my workplace, and its really bringing me down. We live in a small town where if one person knows something, everyone knows it. My fiance's daughters both play hockey here and it's hitting me how much I've probably embarassed them. I'm now hiding in the office because of my embarrasment.

One of the hurdles of recovery I'm assuming?

Thank you

Hawkeye13

Yes, a hurdle but stay sober and it will change.

You're doing a great job and facing the BS which will die down.

Mattq2

I agree with Hawkeyes. That reputation will be short lived. A few months of sobriety and nobody will even remember. Congrats on your sober time

thomas11

Time heals all wounds. You'll be fine. Just don't drink.

Nic233

I am so sorry you're going through this... The gossip mill will move on soon enough-it always does.
Don't worry about what others say..Your Step-Daughters will be ok.. Kids are resilient (trust me- my teenage boys have been through heaps too)...
Just focus on your own sobriety.... Day by day xx

Kyng

Yea that's what I figured too, I think the fact that I drank every day at this job before my 40 days (sobriety time before 7 days ago when I slipped) also has something to do with it. I was just oblivious to their opinions when I was drunk I think.

Nic233

We always are oblivious hun- You're doing great.. It's a tough road so just keep on moving forward.

Dee74

Hi Kyng

You know that guy in every neighbourhood - the stumbling slightly malodorous drunk that everyone knows and mothers shoo their kids across the street to get away from?

That was me.

People don't remember that know.

If I can come back from that, you can come back from this.

Give it a little time.

D

Della1968

I had one of the most humiliating DWI's ever that played out on social media. Trust me when I say this. Stay sober and people will forget. Don't give them the satisfaction of you drinking. I looked at it this way if they were talking about me they were leaving someone else alone. Before I knew it they were on to someone else. People spend more time thinking of themselves than they do you.

columbus

Kyng--

Think of how proud you'll be once you've shed this reputation.

NewRomanMan

If your boss and his friend are sharing two fifteen packs of beer at your work place you have nothing to be embarrassed about. They're the one's who should be.

MLD51

Yep - took a while before people in my small town stopped assuming I was drunk when they saw me out and about. I had DUI's that were published in the local paper. LOTS of people knew and gave me sideways looks for a while. How embarrassing for my kids. I was ashamed of my behavior for myself, and for them. But now, over two years sober, I think people have mostly forgotten, and the people who actually matter to me are proud of me. That's all I really care about. Like Della said, people spend a lot more time thinking about themselves than they do you - it will all blow over, if you stick to sobriety.

Foolsgold186

I could barely leave my house I was so embarrassed at who I'd become, my paranoia was also at an all time high, that tied in with the anxiety I was a mess.

Change can happen in a very short time, don't drink on this and don't be ashamed of anything, use it to get well - it must be wonderful to be perfect eh!

Look after yourself.
X

Anna

I agree with Dee. People's memories are very short because everyone is involved in their own lives. It will be our own memories of these kinds of things that haunt us. Congratulations on your sober week and keep moving forward and doing the right thing.

tomsteve

it will probabaly take some time, but you can get to the point where you can say,"yup, that USED to be me. I don't approve of my actions and behavior then and im not that person TODAY."
maybe even start practicing sayin it to yourself today.

you work where theres Zambonis??? that's cool!!!

Zebra1275

Sober time will cure all this.

When you are able to measure you sober time in weeks, then months, and eventually years, you will be surprised how much of your earlier behavior is forgotten.

Delilah1

Hi Kyng,

Glad you came here and posted how you were feeling. I agree with everyone else, as time passes people will forget, or move onto the next story of the day.

Hold your head high, and be proud of each day if sobriety.

One other thing you may want to look into is mindfulness. I have always been a worrier, and stress about past/future. Mindfulness has helped me stay focused on the here and now. It is something I am still working on, but it helps.

OfEpiphany

Wait so you're embarrassed that your boss and buddy are getting **** faced and you think they're being snark for thinking you're a drunk? Lol, if I were you, I'd just be baffled at the level of hypocrisy.

MeSoSober

Also chiming in just to say I'd be willing to bet that in another week to ten days, you'll have heard the last of this foolishness if you stay sober!

Embarrassment is uncomfortable, but that's all it is -- emotional discomfort. No one ever died from it. (Ask me how I know.) And it's pretty darn nice not to have to do that anymore -- go in to work feeling embarrassed or afraid of facing the music as a result of your drinking.

You can do this!

Ultramarathoner

You do not need to own other's perceptions. You are not 'that guy' anymore.

Keep doing the right stuff, and you'll undergo a paradigm shift. Define yourself as one who chooses to enjoy the benefits of living alcohol-free. Drive that into your subconscious- not others' potential perceptions.