I admit defeat
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Michigan
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I admit defeat
I;m totally powerless over drinking and my life unmanageable. I"m coming home back to AA. Haven"t been to a meeting since July. Gonna sit at first step table. I had four years sober in AA and relapsed because I quit helping others for the last year and a half of the four years. I did complete all my amends but I rested on my laurels and headed towards four years of relapsing habitually.
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Michigan
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Day 2 Have you ever planned this is gonna be your last drink and go out for a week or two. That's what happened to me I drank an IPA for the first time and it was gonna be my last drunk. But it hooked me on Ale for a week. I didn't think I could get a day I went to my second meeting in six months and said I'm gonna go to a meeting everyday why not I'm on disability nothing much to do anyways isolate myself that's the norm. Well at night the cravings were out of control I couldn't take it so I dropped to my knees and cried out to GOD and the cravings went away. So that's what I'm gonna do now go to a meeting and pray on my knees. Well I need to get some numbers to talk to people know I wasn't delivered from alcoholism GOD gave me Grace to get threw the day. Gonna start looking for a sponsor get some numbers and see if I can identify with someone. I know it's day two but I cried after I went to the liquor store by my house to buy a pop and just bought a pop. Alcohol looked different like poison. It's like what the hell was I thinking the last four years insanity. Speaking of insanity we did step 2 meeting I went to today. Well I want to be restored to sanity it's not gonna happen sitting at home consulting alone with an idiot.
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Michigan
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Couldn"t make it to my home group well it's my home group now. Schizophrenia real bad today thank God I can draw on past mistakes. This will pass so that's great. Physical cravings are gone but I"m worried about the mental obsession lasting a long time. I know Dr. Bob had cravings real bad for two and a half years. Stayed sober by getting involved in AA service. Well I'm mentally ill but I can chair meetings and make coffee. I did that for two years at my favorite group when I first started out. The format is we would start at the front of the book and pick words and do connectors page to page. I got one in two years these four people new there big book three still sober six years later one dead. He's the only person to come in and say he had a danny old time on Saint Patty's day. R.I .P. Steve . Anyways S.O.S. is gonna be my home group it stands for share our strength.
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