New here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Midwest U.S.
Posts: 142
New here
Hello, everyone,
I am an alcoholic. This is the first time I have voluntarily declared that. I am waving the white flag. I've been drinking for about the past 16 years - the first half of those spent drinking socially on weekends with the occasional binge, and the most recent half progressively sliding into full-blown addiction...slowly but very surely.
I am stuck in a constant cycle of going dry for a few days at a time only to relapse and gradually destroy myself again. I'm exhibiting all the tell-tale signs...hiding bottles, drinking at inappropriate times, failing to uphold a number of responsibilities, experiencing harsh withdrawal symptoms, and drinking only to ward off those withdrawals, among other things. I'm pretty sure that if I don't confront this head-on, I'm eventually going to die young, or at the very least, find myself in a whole heck of a lot of trouble.
I am here because I need every tool I can find for support, and I hope that as I start to get better, I can pay it forward. I am in my mid-30s, raising a family...they deserve a strong, healthy, sober dad/husband, and I want a shot at a long, healthy life.
As this past holiday season approached, I told myself that with the time I had off of work, I would get my act together, try to moderate my consumption, plan for 2017, and start the year off in an energetic and positive manner.
Instead, I spent much of that time drinking myself into oblivion. January 1 rolled around and I woke up not with plans and energy, but with a massive hangover, a lot of dry-heaving, and plenty of shame and regret.
The last few days have been very difficult. I've been incredibly depressed on/off (emotions all over the map) and unable to sleep more than a few hours at night because of the withdrawals. That said, I'm slowly feeling better and able to function today. I'm eating a lot, hydrating well, and planning to try some light exercise later today. When I go to bed tonight, I will have gone nearly 72 hours without alcohol.
Alcoholism is dark and frightening on a level that is hard to describe. Surely many of you already know that.
I can't do it anymore. It has to stop now. There is A Better Way than this.
I am an alcoholic. This is the first time I have voluntarily declared that. I am waving the white flag. I've been drinking for about the past 16 years - the first half of those spent drinking socially on weekends with the occasional binge, and the most recent half progressively sliding into full-blown addiction...slowly but very surely.
I am stuck in a constant cycle of going dry for a few days at a time only to relapse and gradually destroy myself again. I'm exhibiting all the tell-tale signs...hiding bottles, drinking at inappropriate times, failing to uphold a number of responsibilities, experiencing harsh withdrawal symptoms, and drinking only to ward off those withdrawals, among other things. I'm pretty sure that if I don't confront this head-on, I'm eventually going to die young, or at the very least, find myself in a whole heck of a lot of trouble.
I am here because I need every tool I can find for support, and I hope that as I start to get better, I can pay it forward. I am in my mid-30s, raising a family...they deserve a strong, healthy, sober dad/husband, and I want a shot at a long, healthy life.
As this past holiday season approached, I told myself that with the time I had off of work, I would get my act together, try to moderate my consumption, plan for 2017, and start the year off in an energetic and positive manner.
Instead, I spent much of that time drinking myself into oblivion. January 1 rolled around and I woke up not with plans and energy, but with a massive hangover, a lot of dry-heaving, and plenty of shame and regret.
The last few days have been very difficult. I've been incredibly depressed on/off (emotions all over the map) and unable to sleep more than a few hours at night because of the withdrawals. That said, I'm slowly feeling better and able to function today. I'm eating a lot, hydrating well, and planning to try some light exercise later today. When I go to bed tonight, I will have gone nearly 72 hours without alcohol.
Alcoholism is dark and frightening on a level that is hard to describe. Surely many of you already know that.
I can't do it anymore. It has to stop now. There is A Better Way than this.
sober style
Join Date: May 2016
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 2,388
There is a better way, SR can help you get on that sober path, ABetterWay. I'd recommend you start posting in the January 2017 thread every day, talking about what you're going through. We're glad you're here.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,785
Welcome to the family. 
Giving up drinking was a hard thing for me to do, but it's also very rewarding. My life is better than it ever was, and I wake up feeling good.
I hope our support can help you get sober for good.
Giving up drinking was a hard thing for me to do, but it's also very rewarding. My life is better than it ever was, and I wake up feeling good. I hope our support can help you get sober for good.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
I think you are making a very wise and responsible decision. Sobriety is simple, but not easy. I also believe that getting sober to be a better father and husband is noble, but ultimately you deserve better for yourself as well. Welcome to SR.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 14
Hi abetterway,
I am new here as well, and also a first timer to admitting my problem.
I think you are making the best decision possible for yourself and your family. Be gentle on yourself, and proud that you've taken the first step. I am walking along beside you.
I am new here as well, and also a first timer to admitting my problem.
I think you are making the best decision possible for yourself and your family. Be gentle on yourself, and proud that you've taken the first step. I am walking along beside you.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Hi abett,
Welcome.
My usual offering....
First off...we are drug addicts. Alcohol is our doc. Booze alters our dopamine.
The addiction is physical and mental.
Physically is takes about a week to a month to detox.
The mental healing takes months to years for the major recovery. That is why folks relapse over and over.
Some folks need meds to cope. Pure emotions to me, at 20 months clean, are raw.
Booze is a slow acting, highly addictive toxin.
I approach my cravings from an analysis view. It feels amazing waking up sober. My energy level and confidence are way up.
Read, post, ask questions. Try to help folks. It is good for your mind.
Thanks.
Welcome.
My usual offering....
First off...we are drug addicts. Alcohol is our doc. Booze alters our dopamine.
The addiction is physical and mental.
Physically is takes about a week to a month to detox.
The mental healing takes months to years for the major recovery. That is why folks relapse over and over.
Some folks need meds to cope. Pure emotions to me, at 20 months clean, are raw.
Booze is a slow acting, highly addictive toxin.
I approach my cravings from an analysis view. It feels amazing waking up sober. My energy level and confidence are way up.
Read, post, ask questions. Try to help folks. It is good for your mind.
Thanks.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Midwest U.S.
Posts: 142
Thank you all for your kind and encouraging responses. Much needed and much appreciated!
Today is Day 4 sans alcohol. Last night I went running for the first time in a long time. Felt good to be active and doing something beneficial rather than self-destructive.
Was hard to fall asleep again last night, but once I did, I slept hard. So much in fact, that I missed my alarm this morning, but thankfully got up with enough time to prepare for the day.
This is usually the point at which I start to feel good and subsequently relapse. So...I am on guard, staying close to SR, and starting to formulate some plans in order to keep my mind in a healthy place. I will take SnazzyDresser's excellent advice and start up a thread in the Class of January 2017 later today.
Thanks again
ABW1
Today is Day 4 sans alcohol. Last night I went running for the first time in a long time. Felt good to be active and doing something beneficial rather than self-destructive.
Was hard to fall asleep again last night, but once I did, I slept hard. So much in fact, that I missed my alarm this morning, but thankfully got up with enough time to prepare for the day.
This is usually the point at which I start to feel good and subsequently relapse. So...I am on guard, staying close to SR, and starting to formulate some plans in order to keep my mind in a healthy place. I will take SnazzyDresser's excellent advice and start up a thread in the Class of January 2017 later today.
Thanks again
ABW1
EnjoyingTheJourney
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 3,847
Hi & welcome ABetterWay!! You are wise to recognize your addiction at such a young age.
You've come to the right place for support, encouragement and lots of wisdom and the 2017 January class is a great place to work on your sobriety with those who are starting right where you are.
Take care & best wishes on this pretty cool journey called Sobriety!
You've come to the right place for support, encouragement and lots of wisdom and the 2017 January class is a great place to work on your sobriety with those who are starting right where you are.
Take care & best wishes on this pretty cool journey called Sobriety!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Hi and welcome. I tried to tell myself for the longest time that I could moderate my consumption but it never quite worked out. Quitting was the only way to go.
I'm glad that you are feeling better but don't let that fool you into thinking that you're able to have a few. Apparently I had amnesia when it came to quitting. Once I felt better I started drinking again. Vicious cycle, actually.
I haven't been around SR that much lately but when I first quit I was here every day, all day. Posting and reading. Support is crucial. No one has to do this alone.
Keep coming back.
I'm glad that you are feeling better but don't let that fool you into thinking that you're able to have a few. Apparently I had amnesia when it came to quitting. Once I felt better I started drinking again. Vicious cycle, actually.
I haven't been around SR that much lately but when I first quit I was here every day, all day. Posting and reading. Support is crucial. No one has to do this alone.
Keep coming back.
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