79 days sober and miserable
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 5
79 days sober and miserable
Hi all,
This should be the happiest Christmas of my life, I'm finally battling my demons and after a 30 day stint in a treatment I'm 79 days sober today. My problem is I'm miserable, plain downright unhappy... I see all my friends enjoying the season and I wish I was with them... for the life of me I know I can't ever go there again nor do I wish too... the feeling of waking up every morning fresh and without a hangover is soo brilliant and I know I'm doing the right thing but why do I feel so bad inside...
I recently starting seeing this wonderful girl and she is beautiful, accepts my past but I just don't seem to care... I never want to talk to my family or members who have been so good to me since I entered the rooms... I know all the sayings "this too shall pass" etc but after nearly 2 months after leaving treatment it hasn't... please any advice greatfully appreciated... my sobriety is not in jeopardy but why is this soo hard?????
Thanks
This should be the happiest Christmas of my life, I'm finally battling my demons and after a 30 day stint in a treatment I'm 79 days sober today. My problem is I'm miserable, plain downright unhappy... I see all my friends enjoying the season and I wish I was with them... for the life of me I know I can't ever go there again nor do I wish too... the feeling of waking up every morning fresh and without a hangover is soo brilliant and I know I'm doing the right thing but why do I feel so bad inside...
I recently starting seeing this wonderful girl and she is beautiful, accepts my past but I just don't seem to care... I never want to talk to my family or members who have been so good to me since I entered the rooms... I know all the sayings "this too shall pass" etc but after nearly 2 months after leaving treatment it hasn't... please any advice greatfully appreciated... my sobriety is not in jeopardy but why is this soo hard?????
Thanks
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I'm sure you have had days of soaring joy in those 79 days, too.
Ya know, I have days that I feel "off" and it is just the way it is. Early sobriety is uncomfortable. I have accepted that life has to change completely. I had to drop some long-time friends who are big drinkers and create a life for myself that is full and busy without alcohol.
You're okay. One hour at a time.
Ya know, I have days that I feel "off" and it is just the way it is. Early sobriety is uncomfortable. I have accepted that life has to change completely. I had to drop some long-time friends who are big drinkers and create a life for myself that is full and busy without alcohol.
You're okay. One hour at a time.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 734
Kivvy I had those same thoughts - the missing out / the wanting to be out with the lads / the why me ?
I knew deep down that it was over and had to be that way and sounds like you do too, that chapter of our life is closed, it has to be if you are going to gain acceptance and move on and be comfortable - it really did take time for this to become the case though but I knew there was no going back no matter how hard things got and how miserable I felt at times, it does pass though, I promise.
You do need to work at it though - more than just not drinking - it's about change, real change that's when it becomes more comfortable and easier to accept.
I knew deep down that it was over and had to be that way and sounds like you do too, that chapter of our life is closed, it has to be if you are going to gain acceptance and move on and be comfortable - it really did take time for this to become the case though but I knew there was no going back no matter how hard things got and how miserable I felt at times, it does pass though, I promise.
You do need to work at it though - more than just not drinking - it's about change, real change that's when it becomes more comfortable and easier to accept.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 1,601
Yep. Those thoughts were CONSTANT early on. Just do not pick up. There's nothing a drink or drug won't make WORSE.
Stick with this and eventually you will come to a place of peace that you have never known.
Stick with this and eventually you will come to a place of peace that you have never known.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Great job on going to treatment and for 79 days!
What are you doing now to work a program? I know that on my harder days in particular, it is so important that I have AA and my support system, my recovery work routine and all that.
It's my first sober holidays too and i have had some ups and downs- even about things that surprised me because I thought for sure they'd be just great because I was sober! - and it's a matter of pacing myself and just being.
Take care of yourself. It does take time and you are going in the right direction.
What are you doing now to work a program? I know that on my harder days in particular, it is so important that I have AA and my support system, my recovery work routine and all that.
It's my first sober holidays too and i have had some ups and downs- even about things that surprised me because I thought for sure they'd be just great because I was sober! - and it's a matter of pacing myself and just being.
Take care of yourself. It does take time and you are going in the right direction.
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: East of Eden
Posts: 420
Gotta have patience, my friend. It takes a while for your body and your brain to being the healing process after years of abuse. Three months won't fix years of damage. I'm at 23 months and still getting better.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: DFW area, Texas
Posts: 521
First off, 79 days is great! Yes definitely hang on to those daily milestones.
Alcohol cessation is hard on the body. Initially in the acute phase is causes all sorts of physical whiplash as your mind and body adjust to the lack of alcohol. Of course now you are past that and in the post-acute phase. There is a lot of literature about post acute withdrawal symptoms (PAWS) and a few years back it seems like I had every one of them coming off my extremely heavy drinking.
I recall 90 days and 120 days of sobriety being times where certain mental struggles started to lift. In fact, I don't recall exactly when I started feeling better, but at those sobriety intervals I looked up and saw how much improvement was being made.
I think too you will get there; remember your neurochemistry is adjusting to a new norm without alcohol. While the brain is resilient in many respects, it takes time to get things back to a homeostasis without the booze.
I've been meaning to read, "Healing the Addicted Brain" by Harold Urschell. I've read good things about it and my pdoc when I was inpatient and then in IOP talked about it a lot.
My final comment is that the holidays are hard for many, not just we alcoholics. I try to keep that in mind when I'm feeling some holiday blues. It's funny, come January 5th or so, I'm so much happier and always have been.
Hang in there!
Alcohol cessation is hard on the body. Initially in the acute phase is causes all sorts of physical whiplash as your mind and body adjust to the lack of alcohol. Of course now you are past that and in the post-acute phase. There is a lot of literature about post acute withdrawal symptoms (PAWS) and a few years back it seems like I had every one of them coming off my extremely heavy drinking.
I recall 90 days and 120 days of sobriety being times where certain mental struggles started to lift. In fact, I don't recall exactly when I started feeling better, but at those sobriety intervals I looked up and saw how much improvement was being made.
I think too you will get there; remember your neurochemistry is adjusting to a new norm without alcohol. While the brain is resilient in many respects, it takes time to get things back to a homeostasis without the booze.
I've been meaning to read, "Healing the Addicted Brain" by Harold Urschell. I've read good things about it and my pdoc when I was inpatient and then in IOP talked about it a lot.
My final comment is that the holidays are hard for many, not just we alcoholics. I try to keep that in mind when I'm feeling some holiday blues. It's funny, come January 5th or so, I'm so much happier and always have been.
Hang in there!
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