Update on my father.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Omega, Georgia
Posts: 16
Update on my father.
So it's been over a week on the last post about my father. Last Tuesday he finally admitted to my mother and brother that he needed and wanted help. All day Wednesday I called and researched places for him to go to. So Thursday my brother and mother take him to have an assessment. Then they send him to another City and I go with them. He has another assessment there as well which takes for what seems like forever.
About 2 hours later they tell us that he is going to be admitted, he just needs to fill out some paperwork and he can tell us goodbye. When they bring him out, he is putting on his sweater and tells us "Let's go, I haven't signed anything, I am not staying here!" I ask him "Why, tell me what happened?" He says it's not what he thought it was.. he said it was terrible in there. Then he starts telling me and everyone there that God is greater and He can help him and get him through this. I am frantic and ask him to please sit down, let's talk about this. He keeps saying no.. (He did drink that morning so yes, he's drunk). He then yells and says NO! Almost becoming hostile, he's angry and wants out of there.
The doctor that he had spoken to comes out and they call security. Because of some of the statements my father had made they are able to keep him there 3 days by coding him. So security takes him into a room. My heart seriously stopped beating as all of this is going on. I just don't know how to feel!! It feels like the first time your heart gets broken.. so many emotions.
Once he's in the room, the doctor explains that they can keep him only 3 days by law but if he wants to stay longer, he can. We thank her and leave. There was a really sweet lady at the front desk, she was genuinely concerned for my mother and I. Anyway, we try to forget it a little and go have lunch. On the way home, my father calls my mother.. and then me. "Come get me, it's terrible in here!" I tell him no and pretty much ignore all the other calls.
Anyway, long story short, the next day he is better and not asking for us to pick him up. He stayed in detox Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. They let him go today. He didn't want to transfer to the 30 day program even though the doctors and us had mentioned it. He supposedly spoke with a man that speaks to people that he knows from AA meetings in this City. He says he's going to go back to AA meetings and some other meetings they told him about at the Crisis Center.
I don't know what to think. On one hand, I believe him and he sounds sincere.. but on the other hand, I'm worried. I know temptation/cravings will be there. He lives just down the road from a gas station that sells alcohol. I just don't know.. all I can do is pray. I can't keep worrying and living in fear. I could hardly eat for a week because I was sick with worry. I won't babysit and I won't be an enabler! We can't take and won't take any more drinking. It has damaged us and it has opened up a wound that was almost all healed :/ One day at a time.
About 2 hours later they tell us that he is going to be admitted, he just needs to fill out some paperwork and he can tell us goodbye. When they bring him out, he is putting on his sweater and tells us "Let's go, I haven't signed anything, I am not staying here!" I ask him "Why, tell me what happened?" He says it's not what he thought it was.. he said it was terrible in there. Then he starts telling me and everyone there that God is greater and He can help him and get him through this. I am frantic and ask him to please sit down, let's talk about this. He keeps saying no.. (He did drink that morning so yes, he's drunk). He then yells and says NO! Almost becoming hostile, he's angry and wants out of there.
The doctor that he had spoken to comes out and they call security. Because of some of the statements my father had made they are able to keep him there 3 days by coding him. So security takes him into a room. My heart seriously stopped beating as all of this is going on. I just don't know how to feel!! It feels like the first time your heart gets broken.. so many emotions.
Once he's in the room, the doctor explains that they can keep him only 3 days by law but if he wants to stay longer, he can. We thank her and leave. There was a really sweet lady at the front desk, she was genuinely concerned for my mother and I. Anyway, we try to forget it a little and go have lunch. On the way home, my father calls my mother.. and then me. "Come get me, it's terrible in here!" I tell him no and pretty much ignore all the other calls.
Anyway, long story short, the next day he is better and not asking for us to pick him up. He stayed in detox Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. They let him go today. He didn't want to transfer to the 30 day program even though the doctors and us had mentioned it. He supposedly spoke with a man that speaks to people that he knows from AA meetings in this City. He says he's going to go back to AA meetings and some other meetings they told him about at the Crisis Center.
I don't know what to think. On one hand, I believe him and he sounds sincere.. but on the other hand, I'm worried. I know temptation/cravings will be there. He lives just down the road from a gas station that sells alcohol. I just don't know.. all I can do is pray. I can't keep worrying and living in fear. I could hardly eat for a week because I was sick with worry. I won't babysit and I won't be an enabler! We can't take and won't take any more drinking. It has damaged us and it has opened up a wound that was almost all healed :/ One day at a time.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
It is truly one day at a time. Detox is not recovery, only he can decide if he is going to grasp recovery in the future or not. I would seek out Alanon or Celebrate Recovery for you and your mom so you have the support you need, and of course, keep posting, you are not alone!
Hugs!
Hugs!
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Rehab isn't a magic bullet. Most of the sober people I know never went to rehab. He KNOWS what he needs to do--he's just got to get over the mental/emotional hurdle of actually doing it.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 865
Esther414 - hugs to you hon. The denial he is in sounds all too familiar. There are many of us here that have heard plenty of it!
Living just down the road from a gas station really means nothing. I only say that because I can remember my neighbor telling my AH he would take his keys away from him because he had no business driving. My AH told him, "go ahead but it won't stop me, if I want alcohol all I have to do is call a taxi".....
My point, if they want it they will get it!
I echo the Alanon or Celebrate Recovery suggestion.
Living just down the road from a gas station really means nothing. I only say that because I can remember my neighbor telling my AH he would take his keys away from him because he had no business driving. My AH told him, "go ahead but it won't stop me, if I want alcohol all I have to do is call a taxi".....
My point, if they want it they will get it!
I echo the Alanon or Celebrate Recovery suggestion.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 1,118
Originally Posted by knowthetriggers 
Living just down the road from a gas station really means nothing. I only say that because I can remember my neighbor telling my AH he would take his keys away from him because he had no business driving. My AH told him, "go ahead but it won't stop me, if I want alcohol all I have to do is call a taxi".....
Point being, if there's a will, there's a way. It is impossible to predict where and when that touch of grace will come to enlighten an active alcoholic, but there's nothing we can do to call it in, unfortunately.
I wish you and your father peace.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Hi Esther, I hope I'm wrong, but it doesn't sound like he gets it at this stage. Rehab would have been a fantastic opportunity, but he's not grabbing it.
Anyway, best of luck, and keep your expectations in check. This must be terribly upsetting for you and your mother.
Anyway, best of luck, and keep your expectations in check. This must be terribly upsetting for you and your mother.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Omega, Georgia
Posts: 16
Thank you all so much!
So far, he's ok. One day at a time. We spent the holidays together with a lot of family and he was himself. He was even able to get his job back and is starting back next week.
All I can do is keep praying but living my life for my husband and children. I'm finally able to eat and enjoy it without worrying too much!
Hope you all have Happy Holidays. Thank you for all of the support
So far, he's ok. One day at a time. We spent the holidays together with a lot of family and he was himself. He was even able to get his job back and is starting back next week.
All I can do is keep praying but living my life for my husband and children. I'm finally able to eat and enjoy it without worrying too much!
Hope you all have Happy Holidays. Thank you for all of the support
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
Hi, Esther ,my brother became very ill from forced withdrawal--ran out of booze and no way to get more--which resulted in hospital detox, then to a sober house, which he absolutely hated! Called my mother every day to come and get him, he didn't belong there, everyone there was crazy, etc., etc. sometimes these types of facilities can be a real shock. Turned out to be good for him, at least for a while.
Good luck with your dad.
Good luck with your dad.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
