Trying...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 69
Trying...
Hi,
I'm on day 18, which is a huge accomplishment for me. I'm wondering if I could have some advice from someone farther along on their journey. I had a bottle of wine for a night for about 20 years (I'm 40 now). It was hell to quit at first (I thought each night I might break and go to the liquor store), but now I know I won't mess up. I tend to be quite OCD so I'm kind of obsessed with quitting drinking right now so I feel strongly I won't break. I guess I'm surprised I'm still craving alcohol. I can't explain it really, but it's not like I want the wine, rather I want to stop feeling unbalanced. I know if I had a glass of wine, I'd actually feel more stable. It's like my brain is telling me it needs to the wine, even though the though of the taste of it is not appealing to me. My question it: how can I crave something when thought of the taste of it is so unappealing to me right now? Does anyone understand what I'm saying?
I'm on day 18, which is a huge accomplishment for me. I'm wondering if I could have some advice from someone farther along on their journey. I had a bottle of wine for a night for about 20 years (I'm 40 now). It was hell to quit at first (I thought each night I might break and go to the liquor store), but now I know I won't mess up. I tend to be quite OCD so I'm kind of obsessed with quitting drinking right now so I feel strongly I won't break. I guess I'm surprised I'm still craving alcohol. I can't explain it really, but it's not like I want the wine, rather I want to stop feeling unbalanced. I know if I had a glass of wine, I'd actually feel more stable. It's like my brain is telling me it needs to the wine, even though the though of the taste of it is not appealing to me. My question it: how can I crave something when thought of the taste of it is so unappealing to me right now? Does anyone understand what I'm saying?
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Hello trying ,
I had all kinds of wierd thoughts and feelings for the first few weeks.
for me cravings never lost their intencity but they did happen less frequently , for me my last one was about 12 months after giving up. we are all different and i know some people who have them after years ..
For me i was craving the effects of alcohol , the psycoactive , anesthetic qualities . I had to start sitting with uncomfortable thoughts and feeling , to process them and maybe find out from others how to deal with them . It's sometimes slow progress but it is worthwhile .
Bestwishes, m
I had all kinds of wierd thoughts and feelings for the first few weeks.
for me cravings never lost their intencity but they did happen less frequently , for me my last one was about 12 months after giving up. we are all different and i know some people who have them after years ..
For me i was craving the effects of alcohol , the psycoactive , anesthetic qualities . I had to start sitting with uncomfortable thoughts and feeling , to process them and maybe find out from others how to deal with them . It's sometimes slow progress but it is worthwhile .
Bestwishes, m
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
It's biochemical. Your brain cells have adapted over the years to the daily presence of alcohol, which overrides the natural, slower process of the brain cells creating their own feel-good hormones. So yes, we do feel unbalanced for a while until our bodies remember how to create and process dopamine, serotonin, endorphins, etc.
Alcohol also messes with our blood sugar because the body learns to rely on it first for fast calories. It can take some time (and sugar cravings) to get past that stage, as well.
Stick with it, yes? Your body is telling you something important about how much alcohol has affected it and it will get better if you give yourself time to heal.
Alcohol also messes with our blood sugar because the body learns to rely on it first for fast calories. It can take some time (and sugar cravings) to get past that stage, as well.
Stick with it, yes? Your body is telling you something important about how much alcohol has affected it and it will get better if you give yourself time to heal.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,673
Yep chemical- also behavioural. The ritual of getting the alcohol, the ambience that goes with drinking it (food, candles, music, scenery, movie, sport- whatever). Social, a reward (a hard days thirst after a hard days work stuff). The anticipation of the good stuff we associate with drinking- people, places, things. And now you do not have that ingredient in the equation. Unlearning and reprogramming takes time. Hang in there.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Hi and welcome Trying 
Cravings do lessen with time, even the mental ones - necaome addiction to that oblivion feeling...nothing seemed 'normal' or 'right' without it...but I readjusted.
There's nothing that could get me to chase that feeling now - I love my life and being in recovery
There are some good tips here to help too:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
D
Cravings do lessen with time, even the mental ones - necaome addiction to that oblivion feeling...nothing seemed 'normal' or 'right' without it...but I readjusted.
There's nothing that could get me to chase that feeling now - I love my life and being in recovery
There are some good tips here to help too:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 520
Hi Trying
I found the first month could be difficult for cravings, they would come any time and could be intense.
Second month easier, mainly because of the confidence and skillsets gained from having made it that far.
It got so much easier from month three onwards. The cravings were less intense still and I had built up the coping mechanisms to dampen them down quickly.
Have a read up on 'urge surfing' and 'sober muscles'. I found these sobriety tools, as well as others, were a great help. I also listened to stop drinking hypnotherapy sessions on youtube. This one really helped me: https://youtu.be/V-I8yYKJdZ4
You can do this.
I found the first month could be difficult for cravings, they would come any time and could be intense.
Second month easier, mainly because of the confidence and skillsets gained from having made it that far.
It got so much easier from month three onwards. The cravings were less intense still and I had built up the coping mechanisms to dampen them down quickly.
Have a read up on 'urge surfing' and 'sober muscles'. I found these sobriety tools, as well as others, were a great help. I also listened to stop drinking hypnotherapy sessions on youtube. This one really helped me: https://youtu.be/V-I8yYKJdZ4
You can do this.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Cheshire
Posts: 4
Use the bad memories and don't let them die
First of all "Well Done" - you are doing so well.
We are all different but my advice is don't forget the bad memories. Focus on the feelings of guilt and shame if it helps. I always think back to being sick after my usual one bottle turned into two. I realise this might not work for everyone but it is sometimes easier to remember the good times than the bad which can be unhelpful.
Keep going.
We are all different but my advice is don't forget the bad memories. Focus on the feelings of guilt and shame if it helps. I always think back to being sick after my usual one bottle turned into two. I realise this might not work for everyone but it is sometimes easier to remember the good times than the bad which can be unhelpful.
Keep going.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Trying,
For me, the cravings were part of a process that has simplified over my 19 months sober.
As I remember back, I was at about 90 days clean before I started to worry I was never going to feel balance. That is how I found SR.
The mental recovery takes a good year to stabilize and strengthen. Many never make it a year. They are totally physically healed, but mentally still damaged.
Each relapse adds emotional burden to the mix.
This booze problem we have is a killer.
Thanks.
For me, the cravings were part of a process that has simplified over my 19 months sober.
As I remember back, I was at about 90 days clean before I started to worry I was never going to feel balance. That is how I found SR.
The mental recovery takes a good year to stabilize and strengthen. Many never make it a year. They are totally physically healed, but mentally still damaged.
Each relapse adds emotional burden to the mix.
This booze problem we have is a killer.
Thanks.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Welcome and great going. Are you working a plan for staying sober? There are lots of good suggestions around here- you may want to check out the Class of Dec thread (since I think you would have quit Dec 1 or so?), for folks quitting or wanting to quit this month.
Hope to see you around.
Hope to see you around.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 69
I'm sure everyone is right on everything above. I felt much stronger yesterday than today, not sure why. I keep thinking about how, before my dad died 2 years ago, I got deeply depressed which made my drinking worse. I just feel like there are multiple events I was at where I just acted in a way others would surely consider odd, bc I don't necessarily seem under the influence when I am. I've heard this often by friends/family. Basically, I'm so ashamed and embarrassed by my behavior, which surely made me unlikeable to many, that it's making me WANT to drink to soothe my embarrassment, at least temporarily. I'm not sure how I can come to peace with that past. I hate it, be if I had some illness like cancer I could tell people that, but being depressed/alcoholic is not what I personally would feel comfortable sharing with, for instance, people in my neighborhood. I feel like there's a lot of people that look at me like, "that girl's weird and got issues", and I hate that. My friends/family/co-workers know the real me and it crushes me to think of those who think that sick me is the real me, not knowing I was/am sick. Any advice I'd appreciate greatly.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,067
Originally Posted by trying12345 
I'm sure everyone is right on everything above. I felt much stronger yesterday than today, not sure why. I keep thinking about how, before my dad died 2 years ago, I got deeply depressed which made my drinking worse. I just feel like there are multiple events I was at where I just acted in a way others would surely consider odd, bc I don't necessarily seem under the influence when I am. I've heard this often by friends/family. Basically, I'm so ashamed and embarrassed by my behavior, which surely made me unlikeable to many, that it's making me WANT to drink to soothe my embarrassment, at least temporarily. I'm not sure how I can come to peace with that past. I hate it, be if I had some illness like cancer I could tell people that, but being depressed/alcoholic is not what I personally would feel comfortable sharing with, for instance, people in my neighborhood. I feel like there's a lot of people that look at me like, "that girl's weird and got issues", and I hate that. My friends/family/co-workers know the real me and it crushes me to think of those who think that sick me is the real me, not knowing I was/am sick. Any advice I'd appreciate greatly.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 69
I just can't see myself going to a meeting. The thought of parking, walking in, not knowing the people there, etc. is just way too much. I just wish I could stop feeling soooooooo embarrassed by behavior that really isn't reflective of my values. This embarrassment/shame etc just feels so much. Enough to take a glass of wine and think more about it. But then I realize THAT won't help. I just don't know, thanks for your thoughts on it, though.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Boston Ma
Posts: 980
Trying, there on online meetings that would be more accessible to start though I've heard many times, including from a reluctant BFF who gained a lot from doing it, that taking that step into an AA meeting is so significant. For me it was enough doing a couple online meetings with SMART and then here reading that helped get over the initial shock and then exhilaration of feeling healthier, and now maintenance.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 69
Originally Posted by Mklove
Trying, there on online meetings that would be more accessible to start though I've heard many times, including from a reluctant BFF who gained a lot from doing it, that taking that step into an AA meeting is so significant. For me it was enough doing a couple online meetings with SMART and then here reading that helped get over the initial shock and then exhilaration of feeling healthier, and now maintenance.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 28,801
Hi Trying.
First of all Congrats on Day18! That is a huge accomplishment.
The worst cravings for me lasted about 30 days. I still had cravings, (less so) for the first 3 months. Today I no longer crave at all.
It's not a drinking problem, it's a thinking problem. We drink to feel better, feel the effects, or to "run away" from our turmoil. It helps for awhile until it turns into an additional problem for those like us. Most of us felt "normal" drinking because it was our new reality and life.
What do you do to get sober? Whatever it takes. For me AA was my life line. I like you was afraid to walk into my first meeting. I am so glad I chose to finally. Most people in AA will greet you unconditionally and they understand. Try calling ahead locally and someone will even pick you up or meet you there.
Sobriety is a gift. Wishing you the best on your journey.
Pm me anytime.
First of all Congrats on Day18! That is a huge accomplishment.
The worst cravings for me lasted about 30 days. I still had cravings, (less so) for the first 3 months. Today I no longer crave at all.
It's not a drinking problem, it's a thinking problem. We drink to feel better, feel the effects, or to "run away" from our turmoil. It helps for awhile until it turns into an additional problem for those like us. Most of us felt "normal" drinking because it was our new reality and life.
What do you do to get sober? Whatever it takes. For me AA was my life line. I like you was afraid to walk into my first meeting. I am so glad I chose to finally. Most people in AA will greet you unconditionally and they understand. Try calling ahead locally and someone will even pick you up or meet you there.
Sobriety is a gift. Wishing you the best on your journey.
Pm me anytime.
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