Day 19
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 197
Day 19
I really hate not working. I'm on short term leave until I finish day rehab. I'm taking it out at the gym. Today, after therapy, I ran as long as I could at 7mph and when I finished the runner on the treadmill next to me (another very fit woman) said "wow it was so great to run next to you, you kept me going, I can't believe how long you sustained that pace!" That was probably the best part of my day, other than the accomplishment itself.
I thoroughly cleaned the house - the 4th time since day 1. That also makes me feel good.
On the way to volunteering a deep, burning, and constant undefined anxiety started and so did my first craving. so I essentially did meditation thoughts and breathing from then until now to get through volunteering and an unavoidable Christmas party at which I stuck to soda and left after an hour.
Just got home and it is snowing heavily which causes my hunched shoulders to soften and the anxiety to ebb.
It's very hard to going from I LIKE CONTROL to a mantra of I CANT CONTROL ANYTHING SO STOP WORRYING.
But I continue to try.
I'm at home now and going to eat some soup, wrote Xmas cards, and go to bed early. My body looks great, but my smile isn't reaching my eyes.
I think rehab is working but it's early days so who knows. I have an aftercare plan in place and I'm currently on meds that make me sick if I drink. I figured that was a good safety during the holiday season.
I thoroughly cleaned the house - the 4th time since day 1. That also makes me feel good.
On the way to volunteering a deep, burning, and constant undefined anxiety started and so did my first craving. so I essentially did meditation thoughts and breathing from then until now to get through volunteering and an unavoidable Christmas party at which I stuck to soda and left after an hour.
Just got home and it is snowing heavily which causes my hunched shoulders to soften and the anxiety to ebb.
It's very hard to going from I LIKE CONTROL to a mantra of I CANT CONTROL ANYTHING SO STOP WORRYING.
But I continue to try.
I'm at home now and going to eat some soup, wrote Xmas cards, and go to bed early. My body looks great, but my smile isn't reaching my eyes.
I think rehab is working but it's early days so who knows. I have an aftercare plan in place and I'm currently on meds that make me sick if I drink. I figured that was a good safety during the holiday season.
Water- I get hit by anxiety like a sledge hammer- sometimes for no apparent reason. A stair case I see- but not even think about that triggers a childhood emotion, stuff like that. I guess you know all the stuff to do. Prayers to you, keep posting.PJ
I dunno about you Water but I drank for years - it took a little time for my body to recuperate, and a little longer than that for my mind.
One of the best things I learned getting sober was being patient - no joke.
Hang in there
D
One of the best things I learned getting sober was being patient - no joke.
Hang in there
D
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