John3634

I added the ? as an afterthought. I've tried to quit alcohol a few times this year. I went to an AA meeting today during my lunch hour. I've been to around 10 meetings over the last six months. I have not been able to get a sponsor though. I don't know how committed I am and don't want to waste anyone's time. Plenty of people have reached out to me and for that I'm grateful. I really want to make a change. I'm over 50 and have been a hard drinker for the later 35 years. My doctor told me matter of factly that I was doing some damage. My marriage is chaotic. My work is suffering. All the signs are there. But for the life of me, I can't seem to make the commitment of "I'll never have a single drink again in my life". I understand no half measures. God I wish I were stronger. Why does the thought of quitting consume my every thought? Why can't I do what I know is right? I'm going to go to another meeting on the way home from work.

Hopefully I'll be a little closer to finding the answer I so desperately need.

doggonecarl

Your rational self doesn't fear never having another drink, but your addiction is scared to death.

Hence the constant thoughts, the inner battle of quitting/not quitting.

I found the best way to stop the battle was to accept never drinking. More than that, commit to never drinking again. Then, doing everything in your power to support that decision to never drink again.

Hard for the addiction to argue with a complete, loop-hole free commitment to never drink again. Anything the AV throws at you--you answer, "No, I don't drink anymore."

Soberwolf

Were here for you no matter what

John3634

I'm sure that there is nothing particularly unique about my story. My experience for trying to get sober goes something like this. Monday "Oh God why do I drink". Tuesday "Feeling better. Not drinking today." Wednesday "The not drinking thing feels pretty good. I think I'll go without all week. Thursday "What plans await me this weekend? Going to get my drink on." Friday - black out drunk. Saturday - black out drunk. Sunday - black out drunk. Monday "Oh God why do I drink".

ByHisLove

I'm so sorry you're struggling. I am an alcoholic also but my most recent addiction is to opiates. After I spent about a week here reading as many posts as I could I gained strength and the confidence that I really could do it, I could quit. I read stories of people's success and started to have hope.

I woke up one morning and my desire to use was finally less than my desire to quit! I finally was able to tell that my addiction was lying to me the whole time. I realized I didn't have to believe the lies any more and I could ask for help.

It was the best choice I've ever made. I feel stronger each day and I finally have hope for the future. I found that there is so much freedom in recovery, so much freedom in not being controlled by my addiction.

Ask for help. Find a doctor, a therapist, ask for help from your loved ones, and spend as much time as possible on SR. I also wrote a list of all the ways my addiction was destroying my life so that I could read it every time I considered not sticking to it. It helps me remember that the price of using is much too high.

You CAN quit! Start believing it! Stay strong. Prayers.

soberlicious

THIS! ^^

It sounds counter-intuitive ( or it did to me at one time), but the whole "never" thing is what really freed me. As carl said, the incessant arguing really dies down with closing that loophole. I like that I don't have to start over each and every day, because the answer is always "No." Less exhausting, in my experience.

Mattq2

Hi John,
You and I have a lot in common. Age, duration of drinking, potential health problems and so on. One day I had to face the truth. I was killing myself. I was choosing to slowly kill me! Leave my family, friends and forever set my legacy as the guy who couldn't beat alcohol. I had enough told my wife I was quitting and if I ever drank again I would be in rehab the next day. It's hard as hell but it gets better. You need a plan, a good one, and you have to want it like nothing before in your life. Most importantly you have to accept that sobriety is for the rest of your life. You can do it my friend. You have to just like I did

SnazzyDresser

I hear you, John. The idea of never drinking again was really hard to get my head around at first. But as each sober day passed, I felt so good in so many ways that it started seeming like quitting wasn't giving up something good, it was actually going toward something much better. A better life, a better me. Anyway, forever gets divided up into days, and each sober day is always something great we can give ourselves. Hang in there!

starstarstar

I love this advice, approach. So positive!

HTown

Your story is similar to mine, but finally I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I made the decision to never drink again because once I started, I did not stop till I passed out. It was the best thing I ever did! I feel so good now at nine months. So confident, so proud of myself, and I sleep great! My energy is through the roof. I walked up the escalator at work the other day. As it was going up, I climbed. Me!?

Good luck!

Hevyn

John, I had trouble imagining life without it too. I really don't know why, though - since in the end it was only bringing me misery. The fun times were long gone. Being here really helped me - I learned so much, and never felt alone again. I hope you'll stay with us and try for a new & better life. You can do it.

thomas11

Hi John, there is more than one way to skin a cat. Lots of different approaches to quitting out there. I can see where the thought of never drinking again feels overwhelming. I didn't deal with that thought very well either. So I broke it down into smaller bites. Just today, just this week, just this month etc....Do some research, you'll find something that suits you and it will be worth it. By teh way, my drinking pattern was identical to yours, except I was Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Sunday was for "healing". Ridiculous when I think about it.

Dee74

Hi John
when I came here I wasn;t sure about 'never' either...but I heard from so many happy people, and I read about so many miraculous changes, I figured it wouldn't hurt to commit to not drinking today....then backing that up again tomorrow, and again and again...

Over time, I changed. I got better - in just about every conceivable way - and pretty soon never didn't seem so scary.

I hope you decide to go for it - there;s tons of support and understanding here.

Embrace change. What have you got to lose apart from some misery?

PhoenixJ

We even have the same name. If you want to find out what might happen if you do not stop- I am in lots of threads, won't reinvent the wheel. Stopping drinking is a very good idea. Prayers to you, PJ.

flguy1

Hi John...I know exactly hoe you feel. I am 52 and have been a heavy drinker my whole life. Nobody liked a cold beer better than me and I could drink them so fast it was ridiculous. I was always "out of beer".
Anyway - havent had a drop in 53 days. First 10 days or so I really didnt feel thatmuch better..but then every day I started to feel just a little bit better. It got just a little bit better every day. Yes I have had some cravings but they go away in about 30 minutes. I feel REALLY good now. I wake up excited and looking forward to the day. I want that for you and Good Luck!

least

I got sober for good seven years ago and don't regret a minute of it.

Winslow

Just wanted to say that everyone has made excellent posts here,really motivating and positive