asixstringnut

Hi All.
I have been hanging around SR trying to get sober for about a year now. Mostly I have not done very well. I get 10 days AF and then I pick up the bottle and start again with the same results.
I am not sure what I am going to do different this time but I know I need to come up with a plan.
But right now I am just trying to get through this day and not drink.
I have had so many day ones that I am almost embarrassed to come back and try again. I know this is my ego and I need to check my ego at the door.
I appreciate any and all help in coming up with a plan.
All the alcohol is poured down the sink so I just need to hold on tight and get through the first 3 to 4 days.

Hopeful
asixstringnut

biminiblue

It sounds pretty miserable, doing that same tango every time the music plays.

You don't have to.

Is there some reason why you are opposed to face to face meetings? Have you read through the Secular Recovery section and the 12 Step section on this site?

Also I think it's really helpful to dissect what happened just before the last relapse in order to make a plan to avoid that.

PurpleKnight

Welcome back Asixstringnut!!

Hawkeye13

Glad you are back--don't quit quitting and you will get there

Yes, a plan really makes the difference--what are your ideas on this?

doggonecarl

Perhaps SR isn't enough. Maybe you aren't leveraging in such a way as to be helpful to your recovery.

But you are still trying!

SinkingFeeling9

Don't feel embarrassed to come back. We all have tried many times with no success. Just try to stay hopeful that this is the last first day.

january161992

hi 6string

glad youre back

my experience not my opinion

once i was regularly going to meetings the desire to drink was gone

Anna

Welcome back!

I think you are right about coming up with a plan. If you can make it to ten days and then relapse, what can you add to those ten days that will help you get past that point? Can you focus on the positive change in your life that sobriety brings you during those ten days rather than thinking about missing alcohol? I hope you don't have to go through this again.

asixstringnut

I have tried meetings in the past and it did not feel like a good fit for me. That said it would not do any harm in going back and giving AA another look.
Yes I need to get a plan in place and try to do things different.
I appreciate the support and advise.

Thanks
sixstring

AdelineRose

When I would decide to get sober I used to go into it expecting that I would fail. I basically was giving myself an out to use again. Not giving myself that out and forcing myself to move forward was the first key for me. The "I am sober for right now" attitude change was "I am going to be sober forever". I am not trying to say that an attitude change will fix everything, but it gave me a better start then not believing in myself.

entropy1964

Welcome back. I've had many a day 1 myself. AA wasn't for me either, until it was the only 'thing' left that I hadn't really tried. I had tried doing it by myself, using forums, exercise/health, therapy, reading (and reading and reading...also known as intellectualizing)etc etc. I actually 'tried' AA but I never really worked the program....even though at one point I was in it for a couple of years. I chose what I 'wanted' from the program, and discarded what I didn't. That didn't work long term (obviously). Soooo, I'm now back in AA. I'm not doing what I think is right (cause, uh, I obviously have no idea what's right) I'm doing what is suggested. And its a heckuvalot easier than drinking, that's for sure.

I'm not sure my choosing what works, or my thinking, ever really accomplished much with respect to recovery. Time for this girl to listen to someone who actually has recovery!

asixstringnut

So I have made it through the witching hours when I would have started my drinking. It was hard around 4 to 5 pm but Now that it is past 7 I feel confident that I will make it through day one.
Maybe part of my plan to stay sober is to find something constructive to do during that time. Exercise, play my guitars, make a gratitude list, take the dogs for a walk. Something or anything to break up that time when I usually would be reaching for that first drink.
Thanks for all the advise and support today. I am looking forward to getting a good nights sleep tonight instead of passing out at 8 and waking up wide awake at 1 and not being able to go back to sleep. Some of my darkest thinking happens during those hours.

Thanks to you all.

sixstring

Delilah1

I'm glad you are here and posting! I am a few days shy of 11 months, however, if you look at my join date you will see I first logged on in March of 2012. I had many day ones, and finally last NYE I said enough!!

You can do this, logging on and reading and posting here helps. You talked about the "witching hour," I had to plan every minute of the witching hour for the first few weeks, gradually it got a little easier. Thoughts of drinking pop into my head a lot less now, and when they do playing the tape through really does help. I do not want to wake up in the morning feeling lousy, and back to day one.

Join the November class, and then when December starts join that one as well. Read and post here daily, get face to face support if you need it. Journal, exercise, go to meetings, take a class, anything to keep you from taking that first drink, which is the one that starts all of the problems.

You can do this!!!!

SWTPEA61

Asix
Don't be embarrassed.....lets look at this realistically....are you hanging out with drinking buddies or are you drinking alone?

asixstringnut

SWTPEA61

Thanks for asking. I tend to drink alone at home as I don't want to get in a car after drinking. I had one DUI 4 years ago and I don't want another one.

asixstringnut

asixstringnut

Hi All.
I made it through day one and am going to make it through today.
My goal for today is to get at least 30 minutes of exercise and do some cleaning around my house and play with my dogs. I know it is not much but it is a start for me. I will be checking in through out the day.

Thanks

asixstringnut

biminiblue

Well done.

I was v e r y gentle with myself in early sobriety. Heck, I still am. Nothing much really needs to be done today. I get my bills paid, the rest gets done when it gets done.

I also made it a point every day in early sobriety to get outside and walk in nature. I was going to morning AA meetings at that time, too. That got me up, showered and dressed and out of my head for a couple hours at least. That was really helpful.

Other than that, I bought groceries and made all my own healthy meals. I really needed the nutrition. I watched funny or uplifting TV shows. I didn't watch the news. Well, I've not watched the news in many years - so that wasn't new. I slept when my body would let me, and as much as I could.

I have a gratitude list. I prayed in the morning and reviewed my day at the end with a thought of becoming a more peaceful person inside. I researched things that bothered me until I resolved them.

It's a process. I think it continues for life. None of us get it right 100%, but I can try to increase that percentage.

Upstairs

Good job Nut! All you can do is take it day by day.

Dee74

Keep moving forward asixstringnut

D

asixstringnut

Making it through day three.
Today has been a hard day on my body. aches, pains,extremely tired and a bit
spaced out. But I have not drank today and I am not going to.

Be safe and sane out there.

asixstringnut