fastfocus

I'm nearly 16 months sober now and 3 times this week I very nearly picked up, I feel like I'm missing out or forgot what it tastes like or feel like a naughty child had his toy taken off him, I got loads of other problems, mental health wise, autism, personality disorders, I've just been really down lately, I can't do things like aa because it's far too social for my mental health, but I know once I drink I can't stop.

Anna

Congratulations on 16 months sober. I think it takes more than stopping drinking to recover. I wonder what other lifestyle changes you've made to support your recovery? I worked out a balance for myself that seemed to work for me - alone time, exercise/walking, social time, spiritual work and hobbies/activities. Maybe you could add something to your day that would help you through this tough time.

fastfocus

I have hobbies but they involve money and when I'm skint I can't do them, I think I struggle with emotional sobriety, but being autistic as well as alcoholic my emotions are totally screwed really, every days a struggle regardless of the alcohol, when I'm ok about not drinking life's still very hard.

blueberry2015

Im 11 months sober and sometimes the urge to pick up hits me, romantising the "good" times, thinking about having a blow out etc, wishing I could drink like normal people. I went through this only the other day, the obession about drink was on me all day. I spoke with my sponsor who reminded me to play the tape, also said that its my illness talking trying to get me back in. It has passed now tho, for today at least. If you go to AA get to a mtg whether you want to or not or alternatively cast your mind back to the horrors of your drinking as a reminder why you are now sober and think about how better it is to be sober, no regret, no remorse, no shame or self hatred and remember how freeing it is to be released from all that. 16 months is amazing, just one drink could blow all your hard work out of the window, your worth more than that Hope this passes for you soon x

fastfocus

I don't want to drink normally I wouldn't kid myself with that, I get it too that it's the illness trying to get me back to drink, I've just got so close to picking up this last week, I won't go to aa cause my autism, I've been to aa, I've been a lot, but I get angry and frustrated purely through my autistic traits, I can't really expect special treatment from the other members but also I can't manage to stay in such a social environment, I don't want to be a dry drunk, I detest that saying too, I'm sober cause I've not taken a drink or drug.

Sober'sBest

Its normal if you're into SELF-TORTURE; by either drinking or craving.

For me, I like to think pleasantly.

I know I've decided booze is bad; so that's all.

Now I'll find fun elsewhere.


Oh, if a stray craving crosses my mind, then I punish myself... By thinking of something repulsive; like a cesspool, etc. . . Now I associate a drink with crap, and I flush the idea.
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blueberry2015

It may be worth looking into other support networks if AA is not for you? SMART, counselling etc x

blueberry2015

Just noticed you are in the uk, google your local drug and alcohol services, fron experience you can self refer, we are so lucky to have support here in the uk - free.

HTown

The key here, you feel like you are missing out or a toy has been taken. That was my feeling as well when I first tried to control my drinking. I failed.

I had to realize that I was not losing anything at all by not drinking. It was not until I changed my mindset to see I was gaining so much from being sober that I no longer missed alcohol. Best of luck to you. P.S. 16 months is super fantastic!

Forward12

It's like looking back on a bad relationship. Sure, there were some good times, but there were far many more bad times and ending it was the best thing to do.

Dee74

Hi fastfocus

However we get sober, I think it's fundamental we build a life we love in order to stay sober.

I think it's also just as important to find other healthy positive tools to deal with problems, emotions, and whatever else we used to drink over.

If your mental health issues are depriving you at any level of quality of life, why not see someone about that?

D

uncorked

Hi fastfocus, I think it's very normal to miss drinking. While it hasn't been especially difficult to stay sober, I find I have the odd craving now and then -- mostly when I go to a restaurant and see other people drinking wine with their dinner. Like someone said, it helps to "play the tape" and realize what you're getting from sobriety rather than what you're losing. Drinking is so ingrained in our culture, such a part of life, that not participating may make us think we're not part of "normal" society. But that's not the case. Lots of people don't drink at all. Take care.

fastfocus

I'm really trying to get help with my mental health because it is depriving me of enjoying life, I've been going to the mental health Nhs place regularly for the whole of my 16 month period of sobriety, but they're not doing anything!!!!! I'm on a waiting list for psychology which I've been on for 16 months, anything else they promised to do they never follow it through which frustrated the hell out of me, it's like I just keep turning up to my appointments in the hope that something will occur, I also feel like they're lying to me because they never do any of the work they promised, when I bring it up ( I thought we were going to be doing such and such!!) they reply no we're not doing that now because such and such ( usually a lame excuse) I can't change mental health teams because I'd just get sent back to the same one, unless I move areas/house but that's not likely to happen either seriously the mental health team in my catchment area sucks!

Dee74

I hope you'll keep at them fastfocus - advocate for the help you need.

D

DrunkenDonuts

Try flipping as a hobby (buying or salvaging stuff and repairing/reselling for profit)! One that makes you money...

As long as you can visit a thrift shop or dumpster dive (legally of course) where you live, you can make some nice coin to spend on your other hobbies.

Also, you don't have to speak to people very much - sell the stuff through Ebay or something.

Keeps your mind off alcohol and you learn new things every day. It worked as a hobby for me :P

fastfocus

Thanks that's helpful

fastfocus

Thanks that's helpful

fastfocus

If you guys could keep posting replies, cause for some reason I keep getting strong drinking cravings, but I don't want to give in, as I've already mentioned I really struggle socially cause I'm autistic, and aa can be too overwhelming for me not just the talking but this whole physical contact hand shakes hugs serenity prayer etc

saoutchik

DrunkenDonuts raises a good point about hobbies fastfocus, there are hobbies out there that don't require money or very little at the most and the thing about them is that they are really good displacement activities that take your mind away from thoughts of drinking. I have known one or two people who have turned their hobby into a living

Good luck with your NHS team, like Dee says keep on at them, maybe write down what you want to say and take it with you?

Congratulations on 16 months - that really is good

Sober'sBest

Fight to WIN!

To the victor go the REWARDS.


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