wpainterw

Alcoholism thrives on dependency. Many, probably most alcoholics have what might be called dependent personalities, unsure of themselves, often shy, uncomfortable in social gatherings, seeking someone on whom they can rely, who can bolster lagging self confidence. This is a personality characteristic. Calling it a “character defect” seems perjorative, judgmental. It seems unlikely that it can be “removed” any more than a limp or awkward way of walking, a distinctive way of talking or a relatively modest or awkward way of introducing oneself, a lack of gregariousness.
A dependent personality may seek support from alcohol, temporarily subduing inhibitions, even, when consumed in excess, turning the timid into the “life of the party”, laughed with, then laughed at. Alcohol, the magic fluid, the opening door to a fragile, transitory happiness. A Faustian bargain in a bottle.
Humans tend to become dependent on other humans. When a child we are dependent on our parents. Maturity encourages us to sort out these dependencies and develop self reliance. Alcoholics have greater difficulty doing this because of their dependency on drink. AA may help them to transfer some of this dependency to a “sponsor” who provides companionship, insight and help with the program.
An alcoholic also may be dependent on a family member, such as a spouse, who may foster this by becoming codependent, attempting to “control” the alcoholic by rationing the booze: “One or two won’t hurt!” Alcoholism has thus been called a ‘family disease”.
As a sort of unconventional, perhaps controversial, “concluding unscientific postscript”, offered with “fear and trembling”, I suggest that the only true dependency free from harm is dependency on an animal, preferably on a dog. Dogs try to control you but their needs are simple, a biscuit, affection. Cats are loving but inscrutable. Horses kick from behind. Tough love! An “intervention”?


W.

saoutchik

I don't think that dogs give us a reason for getting sober but for saying sober then yes, yes and yes again

PurpleKnight

It's a curious thing looking back, I was that introverted personality seeking acceptance and an ability to be comfortable around people, and so enter alcohol, but fast forward a few years, and I couldn't stand people, drinking on my own and being alone to fuel my addiction began to consume me, what I first hoped alcohol would achieve, I no longer craved, I simply craved alcohol and fed my addiction as far as it wanted to go.

Great thought provoking post Bill!!

wpainterw

The likelihood of their giving us a reason for getting sober is enhanced if they are english dogs, like English Setters and English Cocker Spaniels. As Gilbert & Sullivan wrote awhile back, :"He may have been a Russian, a Turk or Greek or Prussian.... etc. etc. But in spite of all temptations to belong to other nations, he IS AN HINGLISH DOG! HE IS AN HINGLISH DAWG!"

W. (GAWD SAVE OUR GRACIOUS DAWG!)

wpainterw

Indeed, that was my experience!Alcoholism started gregariously- college, gradually getting used to dating, etc. and then proceeded to enter an increasingly lonely phase, the body captivated by alcohol and having to increase its intake to feel at all normal. This is the point at which it becomes truly frightening. The result of a Faustian bargain when Satan comes for your very soul.

W.