Misc72

Why am I so envious of those that can have a wonderful life with alcohol? Maybe with more time I won't feel like I'm missing out. Although I did have nearly 2 years. Now on 10 days "sigh"... And I still feel envious and pissed off that I wasn't wired differently like them. I worked for and with the current person I'm referencing 2 decades ago. We were best friends bacj then. Good times. Now we are only in each other's lives through social media. It's sickening that she and her husband are rich and traveling the world and posting all about their adventures and in EVERY picture holding a beer, martini, champagne, etc... Her success is not sickening its the fact that she can maintain that life drinking alcohol daily and never skips a beat. I don't want to unfriend her because I love her. I think where my issue is, is with acceptance that I'm not like that when it comes to alcohol. So frustrating. Thank you for letting me vent.

PurpleKnight

Nothing we can do Sunshine, we can't redo the wiring, we are who we are and have to accept that and move on.

The quicker I accepted my situation the quicker I started to write a new chapter to my life, and let me add that adventures don't require holding a glass of some alcoholic liquid in your hand, you can live a fulfilled, happy, adventurous life regardless!!

Mattq2

I tried to quite drinking so many times. I was always pissed off, envious , and pretty much a miserable SOB. It always led me back to a relapse. Now I am very proud of my sobriety, focus on the positive changes it brings, and ignore those negative feelings. It has made all the diffrence.

EndGameNYC

I don't know. While reading your comments, I thought you were going in the direction of resenting all that you might have missed out on in your life due to your drinking, rather than your being envious that others seem to be able to enjoy both tremendous success of a kind and drinking at the same time.

tekink

Remember just because someone has "success" doesn't mean they don't have problems with alcohol.

Misc72

Exactly it's insane I would think like that.

Dee74

This is very similar to your Why can't I and how can they? thread

There you said playing the tape through helps?

What I said there applies here too:


Your relationship with alcohol is toxic. It's ok to grieve the loss of a relationship, even a toxic one...but you need to move on.

There's a great sober life waiting for you out there - don't miss it because you're hung up on doing something thats toxic to you.

D

D122y

Sunshine,

You are wealthy in current and future health. It only gets better.

Sleep well knowing we are not designed to drink booze and we are on the correct path.

Eventually, the booze gets everyone.

Even the rich.

It pickles the brain. I am confident that many folks die many years early and live a less quality existence because of the addiction.

Nothing we can do to save those folks. They have to quit on their own.

Thanks.

Misc72

Thank you Dee I always look forward to your responses and you never fail me. It is the same issue bugging me. It was the same envy I had when I gave it up for 2 years. I really need to accept who I am. I'm not them... I can't do that. I'm going to bring this topic up at my SMART meeting on Monday since it keeps bugging me too. I am so much happier without alcohol but then BAM I see all these images of all my friends enjoying life without the chaos that accompanies me when I drink. I wish I could drink but I can't. But at least I know I can't and eventually I don't wish I could drink and I'm appalled by it.. So I'm patiently waiting for that point again... I know it is attainable but in the meantime here I am...

Ooona

Sunshine- maybe you need to be abstinent from the sites where your envy is triggered. Im assuming you are seeing these images on facebook or some other social media site?

Personally I have checked out of facebook and has replaced being there with being here. I dont have the envy thing but the political thing puts me in a negative mind set and also there is a ton of alcohol related posters and etc. Its just not condusive to my ongoing sobriety so a respite was in order.

Something to consider, yeah?

least

It was a very happy day for me when I realized I no longer wanted to drink. It will come, give it time.

Misc72

Yes definitely! Thank you

Delizadee

You should be proud of your sobriety.
Maybe you should do as Oona said, and work on you Fabriety.
Fakebook sucks. If it's giving you bad feelings, delete your account. And rationalizing keeping it around because it keeps you in touch with friends and family is like rationalizing keeping drinking.
There is such things as coffee with friends, skype with family, emails, phone calls, visits, letters, texts. Etc. Get rid of it. And be proud of yourself.

This is strictly my opinion, by I think facebook has become a massive self-esteem leech on our culture. The difference between facebook users and alcoholics vs normal drinkers, I think the number of people who really use facebook reasonably is far less than those over-use/abuse facebook time.
I wish it would go the way of Myspace already.

I hope your day comes soon that you don't want to drink.
It feels a helluvalot better. I also don't envy anyone who gambles with the potential of becoming what I once was and I'm struggling hard to get as far away from that person as possible.
Chin up. We can do this. And have some happy, hopeful and grateful times too.

tomsteve

I can relate to how youre feeling,sunshine. I used to do similar.
until one day a man said,' why are you making your assumptions off of pictures and limited exposure to them? haven't you ever put on a false front to make it look like your life was good when in actuality you were a miserable wreck inside? do you see whats going on behind closed doors?"
that changed my attitude a wee bit.

BrandonInCO

I dunno, I feel like most people tend to only put their best foot forward when posting on things like Facebook, while keeping their troubles hidden. They may actually have a wonderful life, but they may also be struggling with something and just never posting about it.

I'm still new to this, myself, and in my first days and first weekends, it definitely irritated me to see my friends checking in at the bars, drinks in hand, partying the night away.

But I definitely was NOT envious of how I KNOW they felt that next morning. And having my weekends back has been worth more to me than any photo-op on Facebook could ever be. They're just digital "Likes" that NO ONE will ever regard as important or meaningful once it's all said and done.

August252015

A big key for my peace in sobriety is simply not comparing myself to others, good or bad. Sometimes I have to consciously stop myself, others I guess I just never think about it because intuitively, I am not comparing! It's just so much easier than "fretting about" anyone else. And...with friends, I can love them from "afar" so to speak. I gotta do me, and let them do them.

MLD51

Exactly. You don't know what's going on behind the pretty pictures. Didn't you ever post fun pictures of yourself drinking and partying? I know I did. But in reality my life was falling apart. Only the people closest to me saw what was happening. To the rest of the world, it looked like I had life by the tail. I stayed off facebook for a long time after I got sober. It simply did me no good. I'm there again now, but it's very limited. I unfollowed lots of people. I only look at posts from actual real friends and family members. It has helped a lot.