Ready for change
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 2
Ready for change
I'm here looking for a support outlet as I have little around me. I want to change. I'm ruining my relationship and hating myself more by continuing to drink. I've been sober before but got to a point where I felt confident enough to start again, and it's only a matter of time before I'm hammered regularly again. I'm sick of saying sorry and making excuses for myself. If this doesn't change I know I will end up alone, feeling worse than I do now. The anxiety and shame I feel after a night of drinking lasts for says. Nothing good is coming out of it. Its time I admit I have a problem and actively try to make my life better. Thanks for listening, any insight is much appreciated!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Hi and welcome Brody 
I found this community made all the difference for me.
I posted here regularly...and when I started to feel like I could drink again, I had only to look back at my posts or someone else's to remind me why that was a doomed idea.
I know you'll find the same level of help and support here I did
D
I found this community made all the difference for me.
I posted here regularly...and when I started to feel like I could drink again, I had only to look back at my posts or someone else's to remind me why that was a doomed idea.
I know you'll find the same level of help and support here I did
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 337
Welcome, Brody!! Hope you'll stick around. You'll find a lot of people here who have been through just what you're going through now and made it out alive and better for it. One day at a time is how it's been working for me!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Lincolnshire, UK
Posts: 440
Welcome Brody.
Try not to beat yourself up over things that have happened anytime before this minute, right now. You can't change it. BUT don't forget them either as down the road of recovery when you feel the urge to have a drink you can bring these memories to the front of your mind to remind you WHY you don't drink.
Try not to beat yourself up over things that have happened anytime before this minute, right now. You can't change it. BUT don't forget them either as down the road of recovery when you feel the urge to have a drink you can bring these memories to the front of your mind to remind you WHY you don't drink.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Chester
Posts: 34
Only Day 13 here for me but I've been here before and failed when I thought 'I'm OK now, I can just drink at weekends'. Well those weekends very quickly turned into weekdays too. We have to face reality, we all have an addiction that will never ever go away. I read an article that explains that once the body becomes addicted to alcohol, it always remembers this. So now matter how long we stop drinking for, that first drink of alcohol will start the whole cycle of self destruction all over again....the cravings, the anxiety, the guilt, the hurt...
Let's stay strong and keep up the fight...
Let's stay strong and keep up the fight...
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Brody,
Welcome.
The desire to drink for you right now is a 2 pronged addiction. Physical and mental.
Depending how long and hard you drank, it could take a few weeks for the addiction to be mental only.
If you are like me, your brain is deeply damaged from the booze. Quitting will make you feel like you are going insane for a while. I was pretty extreme....I was mentally tortured for several months....off and on.
During that time...the AV will be strong. As time passes the av gets weaker.
But, it never goes away. Addiction is chronic.
I routinely internally call myself an addict when the crave hits. I am closing on 17 months clean.
Welcome.
The desire to drink for you right now is a 2 pronged addiction. Physical and mental.
Depending how long and hard you drank, it could take a few weeks for the addiction to be mental only.
If you are like me, your brain is deeply damaged from the booze. Quitting will make you feel like you are going insane for a while. I was pretty extreme....I was mentally tortured for several months....off and on.
During that time...the AV will be strong. As time passes the av gets weaker.
But, it never goes away. Addiction is chronic.
I routinely internally call myself an addict when the crave hits. I am closing on 17 months clean.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Welcome Brody...
Everyone should take notice to the common theme here. 'I thought I could drink/use again.' I didn't take long until was getting hammered regularly.
Until your desire to stay sober - STAY SOBER -is greater than your desire to drink/use, the cycle will continue. Unfortunately, it is a hard lesson to learn. Until the acceptance that I will no longer drink, ever again, becomes ingrained into our thought process, we will struggle with that cycle.
The decision has to be final. Regardless of any method one chooses to help them along the way, the decision to stop for good must be your paramount objective. Anything less leaves the door open to go back.
Close that door.
Everyone should take notice to the common theme here. 'I thought I could drink/use again.' I didn't take long until was getting hammered regularly.
Until your desire to stay sober - STAY SOBER -is greater than your desire to drink/use, the cycle will continue. Unfortunately, it is a hard lesson to learn. Until the acceptance that I will no longer drink, ever again, becomes ingrained into our thought process, we will struggle with that cycle.
The decision has to be final. Regardless of any method one chooses to help them along the way, the decision to stop for good must be your paramount objective. Anything less leaves the door open to go back.
Close that door.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 2
Thanks everyone. At this point I'm just trying to remember to breathe and take one minute at a time. I feel so badly about the things I've done and how I've disappointed everyone around me and myself that I don't desire alcohol at all...but that's today, maybe this week. Next month when I'm feeling back to "normal" I'll have convinced myield that all is fine and I can resort back to alcohol. If I know these things why do they continue to happen?? If I know I will wake up sick with regret how can I ever justify that drinking was worth it again. The day after I've never felt that it was worth it. To say never again seems so big that it's hard to wrap my mind around that right now especially when I think of all the big life things that are coming this year...my wedding, wedding showers, bachelorette parties etc. So I'm not trying to let my mind go there. Just be present for now. Someone mentioned a September class...what is that? Thanks again for the replies
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