Had a Small Victory and Realizaton
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Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 21
Had a Small Victory and Realizaton
I went to the grocery store with the intention of buying food, NOT with the intention of buying food and picking up a bottle of wine or a 6 pack while I was there. The wine might have been a bigger priority than the food most times. But, I picked up each item I needed and stopping by the alcohol isle didn't even cross my mind until I happened to walk past it. I even wandered down that isle after seeing that the electrolyte water I was looking for was randomly in that isle. I bought WATER in the wine section. Who am I??
Only 13 days ago I literally couldn't STAND walking past that isle without grabbing a bottle. It was nice to experience a small glimpse of what living like a normal person might be like. I didn't realize how even little trips to the grocery store caused some kind of alcohol-focused stress.
Lately I've been wondering how I'll ever be able to stand going out to a restaurant with friends and not get a drink along with them, or work functions where everyone is drinking wine, or even holidays with family. Right now, I've totally reclused myself from any activity where other people might be drinking. I have fear it would be a constant torture to resist all the fun of being social with alcohol. I sort-of thought it would always just be that way and I'd just have to deal, but does it eventually become somewhat like the grocery store situation?
Only 13 days ago I literally couldn't STAND walking past that isle without grabbing a bottle. It was nice to experience a small glimpse of what living like a normal person might be like. I didn't realize how even little trips to the grocery store caused some kind of alcohol-focused stress.
Lately I've been wondering how I'll ever be able to stand going out to a restaurant with friends and not get a drink along with them, or work functions where everyone is drinking wine, or even holidays with family. Right now, I've totally reclused myself from any activity where other people might be drinking. I have fear it would be a constant torture to resist all the fun of being social with alcohol. I sort-of thought it would always just be that way and I'd just have to deal, but does it eventually become somewhat like the grocery store situation?
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 1,518
I totally relate , about a month ago I bought vodka for a family member and hated being in among the drink isle , I used to spend half an hour there ,regularly . I got a terrible "poor me " feeling and was quite irritated and left the shop missing half the food items I wanted . Best avoiding the drinks isle . While on this occasion you felt fine and well done for that there might be times where it will " get you " , sneak up on you like a crafty fox .
It's not a bad idea to stay away from all situations that include alcohol, for a while. It took me a couple of months of basically being a recluse (only going to IOP, meetings, and other necessary places) before I tried to be in a place with alcohol. I had to make sure I had an escape plan when I did finally go out to dinner with a friend. And that friend was completely aware of my fear, and knew I might leave sort of suddenly. It was ok. I had a fleeting moment of wanting a glass of wine with my dinner, but it was mostly reflex, not a true desire to drink. It does get easier as time goes by, at least it has for me. I can go pretty much anywhere now and not feel like drinking or feel like I'm missing out.
It gets easier over time. For me, I am going on almost a year and the only "cravings" I get now are when I am really stressed out and realize that my go to in those situations was beer. Now, when that thought pops in my head I just take a few minutes to think about all I have been through to get to this point and why I will never go back to my old ways. Not even one drop is worth it. Stay strong. You got this!
I've found that what I needed was to discover, explore, define and then to strengthen my WHYs of staying sober. The physical desire for me is not something I expect to ever totally go away - my beast is always going to crave the deep pleasure of drunk obliteration. But now that I have "the whys" in alignment - the desire to live by my principles of integrity and authenticity, to give myself a chance at life - the urges are much easier to surf.
Two drunken weddings lastmonth, with open bar booze, where I stayed stone cold sober, were testament to the way in which not drinking gets easier.
Though eternal vigilance remains the price of freedom.
Two drunken weddings lastmonth, with open bar booze, where I stayed stone cold sober, were testament to the way in which not drinking gets easier.
Though eternal vigilance remains the price of freedom.
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