Today's "Letting Go" Passage
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Join Date: Jul 2012
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Today's "Letting Go" Passage
So I read the post that Honeypig graciously posted today from "The Language of Letting Go" - and I read it 3 times. The AW does this to DS6 all the time with: "you make me happy when...", or "you make me sad when...." When he and I are alone I try to talk to him about feelings and how each of us is responsible for our own feelings, and it's not our job to ensure other's happiness.
AW's Alcoholic mother is a big guilt-tripper, so I'm sure that where she learned it, and is now so dutifully passing it on to mess up her own child!!!
She is messed up on so many levels.
AW's Alcoholic mother is a big guilt-tripper, so I'm sure that where she learned it, and is now so dutifully passing it on to mess up her own child!!!
She is messed up on so many levels.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
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I can still remember my mother clutching her heart, threatening to have a heart attack and die, and blaming it on me.
--Anonymous
--Anonymous
I got arrested when I was 20 - for being a complete pedal to the metal idiot in a really really fast car - with snow on the road, and my brother in the passenger seat....and no seatbelts....with no drivers license for being an idiot on a motorcycle the previous year...and for putting VW beetle plates on the fast car (a 66 Olds) that was being restored and had no plates of its own yet....or insurance....and that 'burned leaded fuel too fast at that speed" (which was ticket worthy in 95 BTW especially when the cop is rightfully pissed)....ok, i didn't get arrested for these offences (I should have been) , I got arrested for not finishing paying for these offenses a year or 2 later.
My moms response - "I don't understand what I did wrong to make you do these things."
Thats reverse psychological guilt right there - and I'll be damned, it worked. No wonder I turned out codie...and used the same techniques in every relationship thereafter to try and get them to be closer to perfect...you know, like I was : D
COD - you could very well be sparing your son a guilt ridden adolescence for not being perfect, and for not living to make mom happy. You might also spare him losing his noodle in a fast car in the name of making some bad decisions and not trying to be perfect for a change. Let alone giving him a fighting chance of not turning to alcohol the first time stress crops up in his teenage life!
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