amy55

I must say that I have been here for 5 years now. I trust all of the people here. I trust you here, more then I trust myself.

I'm divorced now since 12/2010. I moved from NJ to Pa. I moved in with my friends 12/31/2008. They had bought a house in Pa for them when they retired. They still lived in NJ and would come to Pa for the weekends. They refused to even take a penny from me for living there. To say I have a lot of loyalty to my friends is an understatement. I do owe them my life. I think my ex would have killed me, if I didn't leave.

I did buy my own house in 4/2011. It was a foreclosure, and needed a lot of work. At the time I felt that my house and I were healing together from abuse. I was a broken down person, and my house was just broken. We battled the carpenter bees,the woodpeckers that would come to chip holes in my log cabin to get the bees, the carpenter ants and the entire sub floor that had to be replaced.

My house is now not just liveable, it's beautiful.

So, this is my quandary. I think I am almost healed and so is my house. I think I was using my house as an excuse to not move on, or let's just say, I think I was isolating myself again. I do other things mostly volunteer work, but I really don't like to leave the warmth of my house. It's also a gated community and I have 4 cats that will warn me if anyone comes in. (lol)

I went to visit my mom in Florida. I loved it there even though it rained about 6 of the 7 days I was there. I'm not just talking about rain, I'm talking about monsoons. I just felt so comfortable there.

I remember my mom telling me right after my divorce to just forget about my kids. I thought that was harsh. I wanted to stay in Pa, for when and if my children ever talked to me again. It's been on and off.
I did write here in depth about this, but for the short version, my oldest daughter accused me of calling CPS on her, my youngest daughter accused me of throwing myself down a flight of steps so that I could have her father arrested. My son, just agrees with his sisters.

I don't know, I just don't know if I am ready to make a big move. Move from Pa to Florida. I would hate leaving my friends, but Allegiant airlines does fly non stop from WB/Scranton to Tampa.

I'm just so confused. It's somewhat like I came to a resting and healing place, and now I think I want to spread my wings and fly.

I've been walking around my house and what used to feel like warmth, is now seeming like a "waiting station" that I stayed at.

Do you know how much I like to write things out. This probably took me over an hour and a half to write this. It's when I typed out a "waiting station", I know what I have to do. I have to move on !!!!!!

If you read all of this giberish, thank you so much. Sometimes I need to see things in print.

(((((((((((hugs))))))))))))
amy

for everyone who wants better.

redatlanta

Well I am a little biased....

We are on a four year plan to get the hell out of here and move to Florida. I love it there, its such a different, relaxed atmosphere. Laid back.

I think you make a good point about the house and you healing. Its time to bloom.

So I'm saying go for it! The kids....they will be fine and perhaps the space will diminish some of drama.

For me I need to be on the water.......Donate these stockpiles of Manolo Blahnik and Louboutins that are collecting dust. Live in flip flops and shorts and the sun and water. Oh my. We would be gone today if we could.

Plus, I think a new adventure in life is always good. New chapters, we always need them. I would hate to look back on my life and see in 20 years from now I am still living here. Bleh.

rae145

I like the descriptive waiting station! I feel like my house has become a waiting station for me.

amy55

I got rid of about 3 bags today of winter clothes. I walked around today and this place is dark. I know I can make it lighter. I can put in skylights. My place in all tongue and groove paneling. It was a nice place to calm down and to think.

I want more now. I want a life again.

With the money I have, I will probably be looking at double wides. I would love to have a house with an enclosed, screened in pool, so the alliagators don't swim there, but I think I will be looking at communities with a swimming pool.
Just trying to think now of what part of Florida to look at. My mom is in Hudson Florida, my sister is in Bradenton Florida. I'm thinking of half way between the both. That would be around the Tampa Florida area.

I freak out about things. Like how do I get my 4 cats to Florida. I think the rest of the moving thing, I can handle.

Well regardless of what I do, I did get a move on into downsizing all the stuff in my house. Packed up 3 bags today to donate. Hopefully tomorrow will be another 3 bags.

There was so much stuff that I held onto because I didn't want to let go of the past, now I just want to get rid of all that baggage. It's dragging me down.

amy

FeelingGreat

It's funny how typing or telling things that we're thinking about help us come to conclusions by ourselves. If I have something I can't figure out I'll ask someone if I can tell them about it, and the answer often comes by itself. PS Never get too attached to real estate.

Lilro

Hi Amy

Is it possible for you to rent a place here for 6 months first before you actually make the move? It definitely is a different lifestyle here. Yes, the west coast of Florida is beautiful, more layed back than the Southeast coast where I am. I am originally from upper Westchester county in N.Y. . What a difference ( not in a good way ) it is! I for one am waiting for my son to head off to college and then I plan on getting the hell out of dodge.
Good for you Amy, moving forward.. We all have that waiting ground. After my divorce I had rented a townhome for two years. That was my waiting ground and to be honest, probably the most peaceful time of my entire adult life.
Do your thing Girl!
Ro xo

amy55

So I stayed up late last night. I think I was trying to think of all the cons about moving to Florida. I was trying to make a pro list and a con list yesterday before posting here. I couldn't do it. My con list solely rested on feeling guilty about leaving my friends that helped me so much. They have a son who has autism, and their son really loves me a lot. I was really worried about how this would affect him. Even thinking about that, I still could not put that on the "con" list. Airfare is cheap for me from Tampa area to WB/Scranton area. I have my own room at my friends house. I would actually see my good friend Gerard more, if I came back to Pa, for a week, every 2 to 3 months.

I did consider renting first for about 6 months, but that would not be feasible. I have 4 cats, and they are going with me. My sister would not allow me to rent when she has this huge gorgeous house, with a few spare bedrooms, and an enclosed pool that you could just die for. I couldn't impose that way with the 4 cats, plus, I don't know if I would want to leave after being there. (lol)

OK, my sister and brother in law are real estate agents. She would be the one that I would have looking for a house for me. She has like a 4 1/2 star rating, and she does many site unseen sales. By site unseen, I just mean that the person buying has never been in the house they are buying. She sends them all the pics of the house, gets the inspection down, and also does aerial shots of the place. She also treats all of her clients like family. I've been at her house many times when her clients, or landscapers were there for a BBQ. So I do trust her.

My real estate agent here, would be my friends cousin. Another person that I trust wholeheartedly.

Yeah, so, I've been trying to think of all the negatives so that I don't move. It was like trying to think of all the positives for why I stayed in my marriage as long as I did. I'm not a person that just gets up and moves. I get anxiety about this stuff. So, I really can't think of any negatives into making a move, and my marriage, well, what can I say, there were never any positives about staying there.

I don't see my children often, they are a 2 hour drive to a 4 hour drive away. When we do talk, we talk by phone. Last I knew, phones work in Florida. So do computers. I can fly in for any weddings, christenings, or any other kind of party, celebration. Actually, when I fly back, I wouldn't even need a hotel. I would stay with family and probably have more quality time with them then I do now.

So, I think I spent an hour or so trying to come up with negatives again, and I can't think of any.

Just going to watch some TV now since it is pouring outside.

((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))
amy

Maudcat

This is big. My friend has moved to the St. pete area, and she is quite happy. She, too, likes the less stressed out, laid back vibe of a warm, southern clime. But...at her age, it's not easy to make friends, and she is at times lonely. She has a dog, which helps. And it does get really hot there in
summer, so if you don't do well in heat, maybe a summer back up plan is in order. Whatever you decide, best of luck. Peace.

MAYA1

Hi Amy, I enjoy the way you write, thank you for the post and all your kind support here. I think that you should do what your heart feels. Make a choice that feels good for you. People who want to stay in your life will stay and it doesnt matter where will you be. Those friends seem like they really care about you and I am sure they will support your decision.

amy55

It's still raining here. I guess I'm happy about that, it means one more day that I can put off mowing my lawn. (lol)

Maudcat, I was thinking about how hot it gets in Florida. I think that's why I went down in August. It wasn't that bad. I think true Floridians stay in there house or places with air conditioning a lot.

I found out something there. I have a lot of breathing problems up here in the north. I go through a box of tissues every 2 days. I think I found out that I am allergic to my cats. I used about 85% less in tissues there. But, no fear, my cats are staying. I'll just go to a doctor for good allergy pills.

I think I am somewhat set on the general area that I would be looking for. West Coast of Florida, probably around the Tampa area. I was originally thinking of north Florida. There really isn't anything thing. Not saying Jacksonville is not a beautiful area, just thinking there isn't much for me to do there.

I remember thinking, Oh God, don't let me be one of those bingo playing people. Well it was raining, and that's what my mom does, so I went, You meet a lot of people there. Many women came up to me and asked me if I wanted to go out to the movies or join there Tuesday night dinner group. It all sounded so good, and I was actually upset that I was leaving.

I do have a fear that if I find that perfect house, that has a pool, that I won't go out and try to meet people. That would be my dream house, but I think I have to think more reasonably and more responsibly and think more about 55+ community developments. Those have a club house, recreation rooms, pools, and bus trips.

Today I went through my container of " I wish I can fit into those clothes again ", and dumped them all. Even if I ever fit into them again, they wouldn't be age appropriate. They were really short shorts, and belly button showing t shirts. I am too old for that !!!! (lol)

So now I will tackle my container of dungarees. Most of them are going also. I find sweatpants more comfortable.

amy

DMC

There are a lot of 55+ communities down here, and a LOT of snowbirds. Summers are pretty brutal, but yeah, most people just stay inside - or go to the beach.

I live inland (at the moment) well out of any possible storm surge, midway between Orlando and Tampa, but am contemplating moving closer to Tampa once husband retires. I moved to Orlando the summer after Charley, Jeanne and Isaac and other than Wilma, have been very lucky. Still, do keep that in mind. There are a lot of lovely communities - you just have to find them.

Sounds like your mind is pretty much made up! There's absolutely something to be said for lack of sleet and snow.

LexieCat

It all sounds great, amy. My only concern is that this seemed to come up rather SUDDENLY. Which doesn't mean it's not the right thing to do, but if I were you I'd sort of take some time to mull it over, really thinking about where you want to be for the foreseeable future--all the aspects of the lifestyle you want, all the pros and cons of various locations.

Every so often I think about how nice it would be to move out west or down south, but then I think about how convenient it is for me here to get to the live shows I want to see, do the cultural stuff I enjoy doing, and the dearth of opportunities to do that if I were to move. If I could afford to live two places--summer/winter--I'd consider a second home, but I really don't want the headaches that go along with that.

So for me, I will stay put unless/until something really compelling comes along. (I also HATE moving in general--a fact I was reminded of as I helped my folks move recently.)

So not discouraging you AT ALL--I'm a bit envious that you are thinking about this and it sounds like a nice change--especially to get away from some of your less enjoyable family members! Just saying think through ALL the details before settling on a place.

ardy

amy have your sister look into a condo in florida you and the cats will love it.. and have the safety and luxary of a pool and great area... don't to a double wide.. the winds and rain down there eat them up like cookies... I lived in Tallahassee fl for 9 years and traveled the state.. saw a lot of pain in life in florida.. living... golly kiddo know what you are talking about.. we are moving from my sons home that we have been in for 6 years.. a lot of junk with the years to a great house that my son and daughter have bought.. I will have a beautiful dinning room built in 1920 with a cabinet for my glass.. and a room big enough for family for holidays and 3 bedrooms and a complete basement....hugs sweetheart hugs... wisconsin