Forward12

I've been here numerous times before, but this one was a bit scary.
I have been drinking pretty much daily for about 11 years alcoholically, have been fighting back and have had a few bouts of sobriety, longest being about two months, but have been doing a week or so at a time numerous times for a while now.
Friday I had an appointment with both my therapist, and then off to my main doc. I fight with severe anxiety so getting to one appointment is a major accomplishment, two in one day is almost unheard of. I used this as a terrible excuse to "celebrate"
I had been drinking only once a week, and limited it to just a 6 pack and a half pint, so I wouldn't overdrink. I picked up a 30 pack and a handle of vodka. I told myself it will last a month, both were gone in 3 days.
It was an experience like one I've never had before. I was basically in an auto-pilot mode, drinking non-stop every few hours for days straight, like I wasn't even able to think for myself, I was literally like a zombie. Yesterday morning (which I thought was saturday) I went to drink, and saw only half a shot and a couple beers remaining. I was so disgusted and shocked with myself as I never drink this much.
After passing out again and hell sets in. One of the worst hangovers of my life, and odd thoughts I've never had before. I was under two blankets in bed, but didn't feel "safe" and felt exposed, so I decided to sleep on the floor in the living room. I couldn't sleep there either, so I tried the bathroom floor. Once that didn't work, I thought about trying to sleep in the bathtub or lock myself in the closet. Bizarre thoughts I've never had before in my life.
Fast forward to throwing up all over the place at least 4 times, unable to sleep or hold anything down, covered in sweat, and thinking bugs were under my skin, this is just hell that is not worth it. I never was a binge drinker before, but it is getting to be a problem lately which also has me very concerned to really put 100% into quitting.

On The Road

Forward

The good news is you don't have to feel like this ever again. Put the bottle down, make a plan, and change your life. It will take some work on your part, but I guarantee you will feel 100% better.

To start, you might want to see a medical professional to help you detox.

Why don't you join me in sobriety?

Noolan

Forward, welcome back. I too had harsh withdrawal symptoms like you describe. I had been mixing pills and drugs with excessive amounts of alcohol and spent 10 days in medical detox. That was nearly 7 months ago. I still recall the feelings of hopelessness and fearing I would never recover from the hell I put my body through.

I came out on the other side and you can too. For me, I needed to go through that self imposed hell to fully accept I had a serious problem. Life is better sober; you can do this.

ScottFromWI

Welcome back forward. I can tell you from personal experience that if you keep drinking, the anxiety will only get worse and worse. Consider what you just went through a walk in the park compared to what may be in store for you down the road. I understand completely though, because I tried to drink to cure my anxiety too - for years. Towards the end, I was pretty much drinking non-stop just to keep my pulse under 100BPM.

The good news is that there is a solution - and while it's not "easy" it's very simple and 100 percent within your grasp. It will be very difficult at first, but the anxiety will lessen as you build sober time. If you are like me you'll still need to deal with the anxiety, but it's exponentially easier to do if you aren't drinking anymore. The old cliche is true - drinking to cure your anxiety is literally like trying to put a fire out with gasoline.