Jmulea

My wife went to rehab for pain killer abuse for 21 days, got out on wed and immediately started hanging out with her roommate from rehab constantly( who is 10 years younger)instead of hanging out with me and her son, then this past sunday she told me she doesnt want to be with me anymore that I took her youth and her friends from her nine years ago and im not going to do it again , and walked out on us. Then I come to find out she admitted to someone that dhe met a guy at rehab and has been talking to him and has feelings for him

PlasticInsanity

I'm sorry you're going through with this, and my heart goes out to her son (not sure if he's also your son).

Someone said it on another post that rehab romances are a dime a dozen. I've never been to rehab, but in NA it's highly suggested to stay out of romantic relationships for the first year because: a) This is the time to focus on yourself, and b) When newly clean from drugs, emotions are running wild and it takes time to adjust to them. So when the drugs are no longer around to make you feel good, it's really easy to turn to a person to get that feeling back.

It's your fault? Of course it is - you forced her to take the drugs, right? BULLLL. Don't buy that. I played the blame game as long as I could because then I didn't have to look at all the crap I did. I still sometimes like to play the blame game, but luckily I have an amazing sponsor, and now I'm stuck with her voice in my head going "... and what's your part in that situation? What did you do?".

As of today, start putting your serenity first. Do positive things for yourself and the child (if he's with you), and let her worry about herself - she's a grown woman. Might also be worth checking out Nar-Anon if you feel up to it. I went to online meetings when my sister walked out on her child.

schnappi99

Alanon is also often suggested for and attended by family members of drug addicts.

kjx88

This just happened to me a week and a half ago so it's still very fresh. I am very sorry you too are experiencing the pain I feel. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I have been feeling absolutely broken since my significant other of 3 years left me for a rehab romance. I'm learning just how textbook these situations are from the addicts we love so much. Feel free to read my story. It's a long one but even if you skim through it, maybe you'll see some similarities in the behaviors. As painful as it is, keep taking it day by day. That's all we can do for ourselves. I find that reading others stories on here brings me some kind of comfort. I still can't fathom why a loving and supportive partner like me was left behind.
The more I read, the more I see that this is classic addict behavior. Best of luck to you and I send you the warmest of hugs.

bigsombrero

I spent time in a rehab facility and saw this happening with a few of my fellow "classmates". It's not very mature behavior, but some treat rehab like summer camp.

As the first poster said: stay on your own course. Plan for yourself, do things to make you happy, and find a peaceful path. Do not obsess or worry about what she is doing. Stay focused on you and your own serenity. Good luck.

cbjr1960

My wife went to rehab for heroin and I read all the horror stories about rehab romance. I have been dealing with my wife's addiction for 20 years, so when she's away (rehab or jail) I run through all the what ifs in my head so that if any of the things I read about happened, I would know what I was going to say ahead of time, and be able to have counterpoints to any excuses thus avoiding conflict and my being blamed for a relapse. Luckily it never came to that. But it did help me, knowing that I knew what my response would be if anything did happen. It is probably only a temporary thing and she will be back when the "New" wears off.