LovelyKaya33333

I am just writing what comes to mind because I can't sleep....

I thought you were mine but you never were... You always belonged to alcohol first...

Where do I put all of this pain now that you are gone

How could you be friends with be me weeks after telling me that you are in love with me...

How do I focus on me when I miss you so much

How can I love and hate you at the same time

I just want to be off this merry go round of hell but I don't know how to get off

I feel so weak... before I saw him I was having moments of strength and of clarity...

Now I feel like a puddle of anxiety again.....ugh

I hate this pain ....

I see why alcoholics drink

teatreeoil007

Hi and I'm sending you a big hug. Breakups are sooo hard; whatever the circumstances; some worse than others. And then there's those situations in which "Hello also means good-bye" (ouch, seen a lot of those)

So, what to do? Well, cry of course. You need to. Write about it like you are here. Call your mamma, call your sister, call a friend...right now you maybe don't want to be pitied, but could use a little sympathy and a sympathetic ear....although I'm not sure how things stand with your family.

What's really hard is when you feel this way and you feel like there's no one to talk to that is safe to open up to who doesn't judge you for what you're going through.

Oh why do we fall in love with addicts? They can be cute, charming, sexy...they can seem caring, easy to talk to, fun to go out with, maybe they are good dancers....maybe they just make us feel light and carefree for a time...but when addiction rares its ugly head and you realize their addiction comes before you and everything else, well, suddenly you don't feel so loved and cared for....and that's not what you had in mind when you started the relationship.

lovely kaya, you're made of good stuff. You'll be alright. We're here and understand.

Hawkeye13

No New Contact = No New Hurts

I suggest you block his texts and calls, do not check on him on Social Media,
and let the wound heal as it was beginning to before you saw him again.
He will try now that you've let him in the door once, and now that
his situation with losing his job, etc. will put pressure on him which
he will respond to by avoiding, not embracing, maturity and stepping
up to care for his family.

Trying to draw you back in to enable and entertain him will seem far more appealing to him.

I'm really sorry you are hurting, but you will feel better as time passes
and you keep him out of your life for good.