Things can change so quickly...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: London, England
Posts: 123
Things can change so quickly...
From feeling on top of the world yesterday and thinking life couldn't be better, all it took today was a jammed kitchen drawer which i couldnt get open which led to anger and frustration and a brief exchange of words with a family member.
Within seconds my mind was screaming for that drink and just to throw it all away as I just didn't care anymore , what was the point of all this , I'm not making any progress I'm just wasting my time. I'm kinda just sat here now thinking of all the things I've lost due to drink, job, girlfriends, friends and just thinking in general of the old times. I still feel pretty frustrated now and in that " I don't care " mood.
I don't know what to say , just needed to write this just to try and let of some steam I suppose.
Within seconds my mind was screaming for that drink and just to throw it all away as I just didn't care anymore , what was the point of all this , I'm not making any progress I'm just wasting my time. I'm kinda just sat here now thinking of all the things I've lost due to drink, job, girlfriends, friends and just thinking in general of the old times. I still feel pretty frustrated now and in that " I don't care " mood.
I don't know what to say , just needed to write this just to try and let of some steam I suppose.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 288
I'm also at 6 months, and a little thing this morning set me off. Must be in the air 
In all seriousness tho, we're still healing, and drinking won't make anything better. This, too, shall pass. Glad you posted. You're not alone.
In all seriousness tho, we're still healing, and drinking won't make anything better. This, too, shall pass. Glad you posted. You're not alone.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
well, ya posted here so imo that means ya care more than ya think.
yup, there can be some rough days in early recovery. but nothing a drink will help.
plus look at the progress- you hadda great day yesterday. im pretty sure every day was not very good when you were drinking.
ok, so instead of dwelling on the past, how bout sittin down and writing a gratitude list? look at what you have?
you have a kitchen drawer to slam, which means you have a kitchen to be in, which means ya have a house to live in can be a start for that gratitude list.
gratitude doesn't mean im all happy. but it sure helps me through tough times.
yup, there can be some rough days in early recovery. but nothing a drink will help.
plus look at the progress- you hadda great day yesterday. im pretty sure every day was not very good when you were drinking.
ok, so instead of dwelling on the past, how bout sittin down and writing a gratitude list? look at what you have?
you have a kitchen drawer to slam, which means you have a kitchen to be in, which means ya have a house to live in can be a start for that gratitude list.
gratitude doesn't mean im all happy. but it sure helps me through tough times.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
Just an armchair psychologist , but I'd say you are making progress. It's still early, congrats on 6 mnths btw, but consider what you are doing right now, you came on and posted, didn't automatically revert to old behaviours or habits , that's good right ?
It could be the frustration with everyday nuisances touched on some old thought patterning (AV) and kind of 'woke it up', it may have gotten the idea to use that temporary frenzy to Its advantage by highjacking the opportunity to get what it wants, a weakening of resolve and a chance to spring a 'spur of the moment, wtf reaction".
Don't let it. Focusing on the past, a thing we can not change, is like a tactic to 'make' you feel bad enough to question your resolve.
Stay present , we can only act in the 'now' , which ever now we are experiencing. Is there anything you can do right now to help ease the grip of the mood? Maybe as simple as a walk , or a movie, or an ice cream , just something a little different that takes actually doing something as opposed to sitting and letting the mood be the only thing you are 'in'.
Like you said things change quickly, this will pass , don't let it weaken your resolve, keep progressing, rootin for ya
It could be the frustration with everyday nuisances touched on some old thought patterning (AV) and kind of 'woke it up', it may have gotten the idea to use that temporary frenzy to Its advantage by highjacking the opportunity to get what it wants, a weakening of resolve and a chance to spring a 'spur of the moment, wtf reaction".
Don't let it. Focusing on the past, a thing we can not change, is like a tactic to 'make' you feel bad enough to question your resolve.
Stay present , we can only act in the 'now' , which ever now we are experiencing. Is there anything you can do right now to help ease the grip of the mood? Maybe as simple as a walk , or a movie, or an ice cream , just something a little different that takes actually doing something as opposed to sitting and letting the mood be the only thing you are 'in'.
Like you said things change quickly, this will pass , don't let it weaken your resolve, keep progressing, rootin for ya
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 544
This happens to all of us. We're just trying to let our brains even out.
So here's a trick I use with my wife when I know I'm in a funky, irrational mood, I tell her "our code word." She recognizes it and gives me a little space to work through my emotions. This doesn't give me a free pass to act like a jerk - just some time to simmer down. It helps her (and me) understand that sobriety is a living and sometimes imperfect process.
So here's a trick I use with my wife when I know I'm in a funky, irrational mood, I tell her "our code word." She recognizes it and gives me a little space to work through my emotions. This doesn't give me a free pass to act like a jerk - just some time to simmer down. It helps her (and me) understand that sobriety is a living and sometimes imperfect process.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
WD40
between that duct tape and a butter knife you can resolve pretty much anything.
good for you for coming HERE. i know how sometimes the stupidist little sh!t can just cause the wheels of sanity to fall off. a kitchen drawer, a stubbed toe, shell falling into the eggs..............best just to walk away, blow off steam. then maybe go to the person whose head you ripped off, give them back their head and apologize.
it IS worth it. YOU are worth it.
between that duct tape and a butter knife you can resolve pretty much anything.
good for you for coming HERE. i know how sometimes the stupidist little sh!t can just cause the wheels of sanity to fall off. a kitchen drawer, a stubbed toe, shell falling into the eggs..............best just to walk away, blow off steam. then maybe go to the person whose head you ripped off, give them back their head and apologize.
it IS worth it. YOU are worth it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: London, England
Posts: 123
Thanks guys, I'm feeling much better now than a few hours ago. So glad I posted on here rather than giving in, all the support is appreciated, hope il be able to do the same for one of you in the future.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Yay, James! Good job.
I had a cursing flip out in the car Friday- Atlanta traffic sucks in general, sucks more on Fri and sucks donkey balls on a Friday before a holiday weekend. I had to make some mental calculations and accept the fact that I simply could not do what I needed to do in 5 blocks (!!!) and get to work on time - in 32 min. I got to work early and it took me about 35 to be even keeled again; my boss happened to say something funny about traffic sucking right when I got in and I laughed, then sat with my anxiety and frustration.
Learning - we are all trying to do it to handle the "normal sh*t"!!!!
I had a cursing flip out in the car Friday- Atlanta traffic sucks in general, sucks more on Fri and sucks donkey balls on a Friday before a holiday weekend. I had to make some mental calculations and accept the fact that I simply could not do what I needed to do in 5 blocks (!!!) and get to work on time - in 32 min. I got to work early and it took me about 35 to be even keeled again; my boss happened to say something funny about traffic sucking right when I got in and I laughed, then sat with my anxiety and frustration.
Learning - we are all trying to do it to handle the "normal sh*t"!!!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
A little baby crawls before they walk.
It many take a few or so tries when
they stand for a moment pulling them
selves up, holding on to something,
then as soon as they let go.....plop
they fall down or sit down.
They continue to do this procedure,
sometimes frustrated, some crying,
some bumps and bruises, and then
comes the laughter, giggles as they
take a few more steps.
Progressing to walking on their own.
We all go thru growing pains in
life at all ages. We in recovery are
no different.
I memorized the Serenity Prayer
in the beginning and have used it
in all areas of my life. Even if I wasn't
sure exactly what it meant or how
it applied to my own life, I still said
it to regain calmness before reacting
or saying something id regret later
on and have to return to make my
amends to those ive hurt by my words
or actions.
God, Grant me the Serenity to
accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference.
That draw that hit a nerve yesterday
and caused uncalmness in your life,
you can now find a way to solve that
problem, fix the drawer to open smoothly
and that way when ever you open it now,
you can smile and have a sigh of relief.
If that draw is fixed properly in ur new
recovery then it should never ruffle ur
feathers again.
It many take a few or so tries when
they stand for a moment pulling them
selves up, holding on to something,
then as soon as they let go.....plop
they fall down or sit down.
They continue to do this procedure,
sometimes frustrated, some crying,
some bumps and bruises, and then
comes the laughter, giggles as they
take a few more steps.
Progressing to walking on their own.
We all go thru growing pains in
life at all ages. We in recovery are
no different.
I memorized the Serenity Prayer
in the beginning and have used it
in all areas of my life. Even if I wasn't
sure exactly what it meant or how
it applied to my own life, I still said
it to regain calmness before reacting
or saying something id regret later
on and have to return to make my
amends to those ive hurt by my words
or actions.
God, Grant me the Serenity to
accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference.
That draw that hit a nerve yesterday
and caused uncalmness in your life,
you can now find a way to solve that
problem, fix the drawer to open smoothly
and that way when ever you open it now,
you can smile and have a sigh of relief.
If that draw is fixed properly in ur new
recovery then it should never ruffle ur
feathers again.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: London, England
Posts: 123
Originally Posted by August252015 
Yay, James! Good job.
I had a cursing flip out in the car Friday- Atlanta traffic sucks in general, sucks more on Fri and sucks donkey balls on a Friday before a holiday weekend. I had to make some mental calculations and accept the fact that I simply could not do what I needed to do in 5 blocks (!!!) and get to work on time - in 32 min. I got to work early and it took me about 35 to be even keeled again; my boss happened to say something funny about traffic sucking right when I got in and I laughed, then sat with my anxiety and frustration.
Learning - we are all trying to do it to handle the "normal sh*t"!!!!
I had a cursing flip out in the car Friday- Atlanta traffic sucks in general, sucks more on Fri and sucks donkey balls on a Friday before a holiday weekend. I had to make some mental calculations and accept the fact that I simply could not do what I needed to do in 5 blocks (!!!) and get to work on time - in 32 min. I got to work early and it took me about 35 to be even keeled again; my boss happened to say something funny about traffic sucking right when I got in and I laughed, then sat with my anxiety and frustration.
Learning - we are all trying to do it to handle the "normal sh*t"!!!!
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
5 years sober here and your post has helped ME! I still don't "do feelings well" today, and some days are just like yours....(mom passed a month ago, other life is happening here and I am emotional). Today, drinking is a non-issue, but living life can be craziness! and feeling feelings sometimes sucks!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: London, England
Posts: 123
What today has shown me is for that crazy half an hour where you think about chucking in the towel , you can come out the other side strong. Today's little test was the wake up call maybe I needed to say " yea you made it 6 months , no don't think the battle is over, it's only just beginning" . I think I needed it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Northern Ireland
Posts: 290
You did exactly the right thing James. These moments are difficult to deal with but each time you come through one it gets that little bit easier to cope with the next little surprise.
Good on you and stay strong
Good on you and stay strong
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