Silver11

Hello!
I've been away for a while. I am confused about my drinking. Sometimes I think I need help. I've been a binge drinker for 20 plus years. There have been periods (2-3 years) where I used to get drunk everyday blackouts and all.

I almost 40 now and have tapered down a bit (responsibilities, job, family etc). Right now I drink precisely once a week on Friday evenings. About 9-10 cans of 5% beer.

I don't drink during the week at all and have no problem abstaining. My liver function tests are normal and so is a fibroscan done in 2013.

But I can't quit. I've tried AA. But I soon start skipping meetings and going back to my old ways (once a week beer binge).

Sometimes I think... Am I over thinking this? I like to drink because it's Friday and want to unwind. I watch movies, surf the net and chat online while drinking. Nothing I'm embarrassed about the next day.

A lot of my friends drink 2-3 times a week and more than me but aren't really alcoholics. At least that's not what they tell themselves.

I'm from a conservative family where any drinking at all is frowned upon. Maybe that's why I feel guilty every week when I drink?

There was a time a used to drink way too much. But for the last 10 years (since I got married and had a kid) things have been once a week.

I know AA tells me only I can say if I'm an alcoholic. I just don't know. I don't have physical symptoms of withdrawal if I don't drink. And when I have an early appointment on a Saturday I can easily not drink on a Friday night. But I will definitely catch up on Saturday!!

I don't know if I have a problem. I spend a lot of time worrying about my health( but every time I go to a dr everything's fine).

My own friends who are doctors tell
Me I have nothing to worry about and not to overthink things.

But it disturbs me that I can't shake the weekly binge. I have tried. But I wander into a pub on Fridays like I'm in a trance.

I think there are so many layers of alcoholic. I just don't know where I am and I do t fit in any definition.

Just venting I guess. Thanks for reading!

doggonecarl

That's all you need to know about your problem. Not when you drink, not how much. But that you have to.

FreeOwl

Define you?

You're a human being, who is in the process of questioning your relationship with alcohol.

Looks to me like you've already defined the most key characteristic of that relationship......

In my own experience, by the time I began asking these questions and my life looked a lot like you describe - I was already well down a track that was destructive and negative to my life.

I'm very glad I finally came to see what alcohol was doing to my life. Even then - many people in my life would have said that I didn't have 'a problem'. Even then - many people in my life thought it was drastic that I chose sobriety.

But those people didn't have to live the consequences - I did. Those people didn't live inside my head or inside my emotions - I did. Nobody else had to watch and experience every secret reality of the direction my life with alcohol was heading. Only me. Sure, my family and some few close friends had experienced some of the impact.... but MOST important of all, at the end of the day, was me.

It finally came down to this; no definition mattered. What mattered was how increasingly far removed my reality was becoming from the person I wanted to be and the life I wanted to have.

So.... you may or may not find definitions that fit.

But inside, you already know the answer to the question you're really asking.

CaseyW

If there are times you want to quit but you can't, then there's a problem there.

Thanks for your share. Hope you make this weekend a sober one.

Soberwolf

I think if you accept that your drinking alcoholically and take steps to staying sober youl stay sober on one condition - accepting the facts 100%

Dee74

You're a guy who's drinking is causing him concern - but you can't stop.
You're in the right place for help with that, Drash

D