Did I reach the point of numbness?
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Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 648
Did I reach the point of numbness?
I cried my eyes out for the last 11 days... I mean I cried so much and so hard that I thought I would loose my mind ... I fell asleep crying again last night crying... I woke up this morning and went to brunch with a friend... came home ( well my parents house) watched a show I love...took a nap and didn't cry once... I still thought of my ex AB... Thought of the injustice of it all... My best friend texted me and said "Trust me, you will be the one that got away... I promise"... and for the first time I had a feeling that she might be right... I still can't sleep in my new apartment ( It doesn't feel like home yet) I am sure that it will soon and in time I won't have to drive to my parents to sleep in my childhood bedroom... The silence of the apartment by myself is hard and my father and step mom are super supportive... I didn't feel as needy today... I hardly talked about him... well a lot less than I have been... I feel a sense of distance and numbness in a way... I still feel depressed but I think I am starting to somewhat accept that I won't ever see him again and that even if one day in the future I do see him, that I will forever look at him differently because of the chaos and the disrespect he showed me when we broke up...I am so proud of myself for being able to go No Contact... I didn't think I would make it a day let alone 9 days...That in itself gives me empowerment... It is time to start to work on me now... it is 7 pm where I live and I am in shock that I haven't cried... oh and I ate ( just a few bites) both yesterday and today... I think I will try to go on a walk before I go to work tomorrow... baby steps... Thank you everyone for all of your support. I honestly feel like this is one of the most emotionally painful things I have ever gone through ( and I have had my fair share of pain like everyone else ) ... I hope this feeling lasts... it feels like I can breathe for a minute 
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 196
Hi Kaya -
Sister, I feel your pain. Nothing I say will make it feel better. Just know that you are not alone.
I am here tonight because I am also alone. And I know that everyone here knows what it is like to feel like we do. We can do this. I think we got ourselves into this situation because we have the strength to get through anything, as terrible as it is. We can get through it.
Right now, I am online shopping to see what I want in MY place that will make me feel at peace. I recently purchased a brass bed on Craigslist and repainted it a lilac purple (it looks pretty freaking cool). Now I need a duvet cover to pull it all together.
So, Lovely Kaya, what do you need to make your surroundings your own?
Sister, I feel your pain. Nothing I say will make it feel better. Just know that you are not alone.
I am here tonight because I am also alone. And I know that everyone here knows what it is like to feel like we do. We can do this. I think we got ourselves into this situation because we have the strength to get through anything, as terrible as it is. We can get through it.
Right now, I am online shopping to see what I want in MY place that will make me feel at peace. I recently purchased a brass bed on Craigslist and repainted it a lilac purple (it looks pretty freaking cool). Now I need a duvet cover to pull it all together.
So, Lovely Kaya, what do you need to make your surroundings your own?
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