Two years
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,909
Two years
The weekend of June 21 2014, I decided to take a little trip and stay with family by myself to get a break from the stay-at-home mom rut. I packed a bottle of wine in the overnight bag and, after pretending to be a normal drinker at dinner, drank that bootle to sleep in the guest bedroom. I packed the empty bottle back in the bag, of course. I left on Sunday morning and, on the way home, while passing a dinky motel, decided that I didn't get enough rest and wouldn't it be grand to drink as much as I want without anybody knowing. I told my husband I'm staying another night and will be back Monday morning to take over the kids. I rented a room for $40 a night, stopped at a liquor store and got a six-pack of beer and a bottle of vodka. I drank and smoked, drank and smoked. Of course, I overslept and rushed home. My husband was very annoyed with me as he was getting late for work. I had to take the kids to the dentist, still woozy from all the alcohol, afraid to breathe. On the way back from the dentist, shoving the thoughts of guilt deeper and deeper, stopped at a liquor store again. With the kids. It wasn't the worst moment of my drinking career, I've had many more shameful experiences (waiting for a liquor store to open at 8am with a kid in tow, passing out in a bathroom at my husband's work party, being completely wasted and incoherent at a school bus stop, going on a binge when we had family over and sleeping through the whole weekend "sick", and many, many cases of alcohol-fueled fights and rage)...
So I drank from my closet a few more days and browsed the internet about alcoholism again. I came across the topic on SR about alcohol robbing you of your beauty, quite literally. I have been noticing the puffiness of my face in the mirror and in photos and it obviously bothered me. I read more and more. The next topic introduced me to Rational Recovery and the concept of AV, and it finally clicked. Previously, all my searches lead to AA, 12 steps, meetings, and concepts of surrendering to higher power, none of which spoke to me at the time, no matter how much I tried. Reading SR, however, and all these similar experiences, it all started coming together. The concept of AV was new and made so much sense to me. I took a breath and opened my first topic here on June 26 2014, my day 1. The concept of complete abstinence still seemed completely terrifying, but I started feeling hope. I fully credit SR for helping me get sober. If it wasn't for this site, who knows how much longer I'd try to moderate and if I'd ever make it to AA or find my way to RR. Thank you everyone from the bottom of my heart for saving my life.
Two years sober. What a ride... The last half a year are marked with very difficult losses, but I am present and not drowning away the pain.
Thanks again for being here. Sending everyone good wishes.
So I drank from my closet a few more days and browsed the internet about alcoholism again. I came across the topic on SR about alcohol robbing you of your beauty, quite literally. I have been noticing the puffiness of my face in the mirror and in photos and it obviously bothered me. I read more and more. The next topic introduced me to Rational Recovery and the concept of AV, and it finally clicked. Previously, all my searches lead to AA, 12 steps, meetings, and concepts of surrendering to higher power, none of which spoke to me at the time, no matter how much I tried. Reading SR, however, and all these similar experiences, it all started coming together. The concept of AV was new and made so much sense to me. I took a breath and opened my first topic here on June 26 2014, my day 1. The concept of complete abstinence still seemed completely terrifying, but I started feeling hope. I fully credit SR for helping me get sober. If it wasn't for this site, who knows how much longer I'd try to moderate and if I'd ever make it to AA or find my way to RR. Thank you everyone from the bottom of my heart for saving my life.
Two years sober. What a ride... The last half a year are marked with very difficult losses, but I am present and not drowning away the pain.
Thanks again for being here. Sending everyone good wishes.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Melki! Two years! You rock!
Thank you for being a compassionate presence here on SR. I've enjoyed your posts and insights.
Milestones like yours really serve a great purpose. We all came to SR wounded and yearning for a better life. We see these anniversaries all the time and I hope they inspire our newcomers to see that a sober life really is within their reach.
Thank you for being a compassionate presence here on SR. I've enjoyed your posts and insights.
Milestones like yours really serve a great purpose. We all came to SR wounded and yearning for a better life. We see these anniversaries all the time and I hope they inspire our newcomers to see that a sober life really is within their reach.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
What a great story of recovery! Thank you for sharing and congratulations on two years. You are "back" for yourself and your family and I know that must feel great, despite the hard and bad stuff.
Way to go.
Way to go.
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