Weasel1966

Monday.... From first I open my eyes I can tell I am still drunk from the weekend. Lean over to drink water I left beside my bed from Friday in hopes that a few sips will hydrate me into sobriety. Get to work woozy and try to be invisible. Look no one in the eye for fear they can tell. The day long.

Tuesday.... Getting ready for work I feel proud of myself because I only had 10 shots last night and can still remember what I had for dinner. Tell myself things are really starting to improve.

Wednesday... I am able to greet my boss at my desk and look up confident I can answer any questions with a clear head. My energy returns a bit. My stomach still in knots from the past weekends exploits. Memories still fuzzy. Guilt and shame are starting to subside until I geta flashback. I cringe. On my way home from work I tell myself I will not drink tonight. Just go get some ice cream and relax. I arrive at the bar by 5:30pm.

Thursday... Forgetting its Thursday and not Friday I wake excited for my weekend.... Until I remember what day it is. Trying to remind myself of the distant past of the weekend before. Guilt and shame seem far away as the time to Friday counts down. At work I am energetic and fun to be around. A stark difference from Monday. People say I must be in a really good mood. No.... Just the weekend is coming. TGIF...

Friday... I jump outta bed. Try and scheme a reason to leave work early. I have a million stories and reasons. A friend of a friend died and have to go to the wake. Need to help a friend with car trouble. Stomach flu. I arrive at the bar by 3pm. Walk down the bar greeting each of the regulars until I get to my bar stool waiting patiently for me. Beer and rocks glass of voldka already at my station.

Saturday... Come too to find my front door still wide open from the night before. I do an inventory check. Cats... TV.... Try to find my wallet and keys. Look in my wallet to see what I don't have in there and check the receipt from the bar to know what time I got home. Say to myself I am never doing that again. I will not drink today. And I believe myself.

Sunday... Come too as the bright sunny day shines through on my face. I turn over to protest. I try to do a weeks worth of chores in a few hours taking breaks because I have the alcoholic flop sweat and my heart is racing. The wallet routine complete I figure I got a good nights sleep all things considering. I will not drink today. And I believe myself.

Monday.... From first I open my eyes I can tell I am still drunk.......

Weasel1966

Not any more!!!!! This was me for many years!

Thank you for this day!!!

Hawkeye13

Amen Brother Weasel!

priceyjunk

This is still a reality for me. And it's so painful to see it. Feeling very hopeless at the moment. How did you manage to get out of it?

Weasel1966

Hi Pricey... Sorry to hear you are feeling this way. I promise you NO ONE including you, is hopeless.

I have come here every day since the day I joined not barring those days I was so drunk I could not sign on. I allowed people in. I broke down my shell. I also use AVRT. Look it up and there are many posts in the secular section.

There is no real secret here. I just needed to feel again.

Please keep coming here. Speak up. We are all here cuz we understand. You can stay sober.

Ken

LadyBlue0527

First, you deserve 100 spankings for this post

Next, it's always good to reflect back. Thank you for reminding me that I haven't woken up in 48 days with my heart pounding out of my chest and sweating.

But...........you're still a brat Ken! A BIG one!

uncorked

Thanks for posting that -- makes me realize (again) how thankful I am not to be living life in one long hangover.

Weasel1966

OHHHH!!! I so did not think that anyone would take it that way. Sorry. I just wanted to share where I was. Maybe help a little in the newcomers.

I am sooooooooooooooooo grateful for this day.

Went to Popham! Such an amazing place.

Weasel1966

One long hangover. Yes... That was my life. I was fuzzy headed more than clear. Terrible stuff.

Welocme to SR. I see over 300 posts but still want to say hello and welcome you uncorked.

Ken

kittycat3

I'm grateful for this post too, good reminder of where alcohol took us. Although I was an off/on binger, many times my days and nights also looked like this!

Hevyn

One of my very favorite posts on this entire site. A million times thank you, Ken - for the (chilling) memories.

thomas11

Reading that just gave me willies. I remember all too well. Thanks for the reminder.

purplepeopleeat

I remember those days. So glad they r gone. It was horrible and such a waste of my life. Thank u for sharing.

U75

Bumped.

Ruby2

Great post Weas. I somehow missed it earlier . You've come a long way!

Weasel1966

Thanks username... Ruby... Everyone... I read this for myself when I start to forget the reality of it all. This scares the hell out of me.

notgonnastoptry

This was me, too, except I did most of my drinking at friends' homes, etc. I always checked for my keys (attached wallet) and cell phone. Somehow, I always managed to bring those home. Ugh. What a mess.

I'm three weeks sober after a death scare (yes, really) and 8 days in the hospital in ICU.

ElleDee

That was great. Thank you so much! I've had many, many similar weeks. Not any more. 😀

Weasel1966

Glad you are here with us Notgonna.... Congrats on three weeks.

Thanks ElleDee! You and me both.