It's hard to be the parent and the child
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
It's hard to be the parent and the child
Not sure if anyone can relate to this.
Last time through when I managed 17 months of sobriety I quit due to knowing that if I didn't, divorce papers were coming and frankly, I was quite sick of myself. Still, there was no one ruling over me to tell me that I couldn't drink. It was my decision. Where I am a weekend drinker those beginning weekends were hard. My routine had been disrupted and I was mad. I couldn't explain the feeling when my husband asked how I was doing. Then I figured it out.
Remember back to when you were a child and there was something you wanted or wanted to do really badly and you begged your parents to the end of the earth? Then you heard the dreaded word "No". Of course, as a child you attempted to plead, beg, whine, complain, moan, and promise good behaviour if they would change their mind.
Remember that point when they repeated the word no and you realized that under no circumstance were you going to get them to say yes and it was something you really really wanted? Do you recall that feeling when you knew you weren't going to get your way?
That's what early sobriety felt like to me when I wanted to drink. I felt like I had to be both the child AND the parent who was saying no.
It does get better but that's the best way I can describe early sobriety when a craving is present. It does pass and then it starts to get better.
I can't stress enough how having a plan of action and making yourself follow it is so important. It made the feelings pass more quickly.
To all who are just starting out, this gets better, Hang in there!
Last time through when I managed 17 months of sobriety I quit due to knowing that if I didn't, divorce papers were coming and frankly, I was quite sick of myself. Still, there was no one ruling over me to tell me that I couldn't drink. It was my decision. Where I am a weekend drinker those beginning weekends were hard. My routine had been disrupted and I was mad. I couldn't explain the feeling when my husband asked how I was doing. Then I figured it out.
Remember back to when you were a child and there was something you wanted or wanted to do really badly and you begged your parents to the end of the earth? Then you heard the dreaded word "No". Of course, as a child you attempted to plead, beg, whine, complain, moan, and promise good behaviour if they would change their mind.
Remember that point when they repeated the word no and you realized that under no circumstance were you going to get them to say yes and it was something you really really wanted? Do you recall that feeling when you knew you weren't going to get your way?
That's what early sobriety felt like to me when I wanted to drink. I felt like I had to be both the child AND the parent who was saying no.
It does get better but that's the best way I can describe early sobriety when a craving is present. It does pass and then it starts to get better.
I can't stress enough how having a plan of action and making yourself follow it is so important. It made the feelings pass more quickly.
To all who are just starting out, this gets better, Hang in there!
now's the time
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
I would actually talk myself through them as if I were talking to a child! Sometimes it helped me to visualize it that way because then it made me see how silly I was being by continuing to demand something bad for me.
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