KiKi0615

Hello,

I need some advice. I have a really hard time handling strong emotions & not drinking.

For example, today I was forced into a situation that I had to spend and hour with an extremely toxic family member and after I left I just wanted to DRINK!

My grandma is very sick so I really needed to go see her. I was NOT planning on this TOXIC person being there and was shocked that they were there!

I've kind of built real safety net around myself lately to avoid these types of encounters but today we unexpected.

How do you guys deal with these situations without drinking? What tools do you use to help you through?

Thanks in advance!!!

D122y

I have anxiety that is noticeable only to me as far as i know.

Depending on how long you have been clean, you can have strength in knowing the stress is all in the mind.

Nervous energy is still energy. You can use it in a positive way. Wash some dishes, wipe a counter, clean the floor...depends on if that is an option.

If someone or something is getting to me i have used breathing techniques.

I also have told the person stressing me out to stop. E.g. stop talking, stop messing w the radio or tv. Depends on the person though. Some people crave a fight.

You know, drinking will make things worse.

Thanks for the post.

lovetolisten

I am having the same problems, although my trigger is not necessarily toxic people. The way I am dealing with it is doing ANYTHING to avoid picking up that drink. And reminding myself that the feeling WILL pass because it always does. No matter how strong it is, it is not as strong 30 minutes, an hour later. Getting through about 5 p.m. - 7 p.m. has been torture, but I better after 7. I feel ever better when I go to bed knowing I didn't drink, and best when I wake up with another day under my belt (btw, I am super new, so take this advice with that understanding)

I think the emotions in early sobriety and the cravings that go with them are universal. It just is what it is. I tell myself that I would rather deal with the strong emotions and cravings than give in to drinking and deal with that set of emotions (regret, shame, self-loathing, etc).

shockozulu

The serenity prayer. Even in my Agnostic phase just repeating these words in my head, over and over and over again until the situation ended, helped me throw my problems to my HP. If you don't have a belief in a higher power of any type find a song or refrain you can recite to dull out the negative to some extent.

I write it down and keep it in my wallet so wherever I am I can pull it out in the restroom, refresh my memory and then go out and keep reciting them.
For example:

"'Cause it's oh, so peaceful here
There's no one bending over my shoulder
Nobody breathing in my ear
Oh, so peaceful here"



Then once I'm away I blast a music playlist that talks about letting go. Again, I have this in the car or on my phone so when I run into an unplanned situation its ready for me.

"In Graceland Graceland,
I'm going to Graceland,
For reasons I cannot explain
There's some part of me wants to see
Graceland,
And I may be obliged to defend
Every love every ending
Or maybe there's no obligations now,
Maybe I've a reason to believe
We all will be received
In Graceland"



You can even do both, or find poetry or a quote from a book that gives you the ability to recite and turn the situation over.

maimaitreya

I recite Durga mantra in my mind while going thru any negative emotional experience, stress, or pain. This includes dealing with people. While they are talking I'm reciting in my mind. I've tried to think my way thru my emotions in the past and my emotions have always drown me. I get rattled by people sometimes because I'm fairly empathic, so shutting that side of me down is extremely important to my maintaining sobriety and general sanity. I'm not sure if it's just distracting or what but I don't really care. Maybe the goddess durga is answering my prayer, maybe I'm just occupying my mind from indulging in negativity. I only know it's been working for me.

shockozulu

Is this the one?
"Om Dum Durgayei Namaha"?

I always like to add new tools to my life

maimaitreya

Yes shockozulu that's the one.

immri

Something I struggle with too Kiki! loving these replies
Music, yoga and doing something small but productive seem to help distract and calm me the best