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Stress and Recovery

Old 05-14-2016, 01:53 PM
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Stress and Recovery

I know during recovery it is recommended not to make any major changes during the first year. Long story short, I'm working at a company that I've worked at for many years. I left and came back here several months ago. I had sobriety for the first 3 months once I came back. Then I replaced due to my choices and stress. I thought this would be a low key/lower stress job and I would be able to focus on my sobriety. Fast forward just a couple of weeks and all heck broke loose. Someone got fired, they haven't been replaced in 6 months, I'm stressed beyond belief because I have to pick up their position and I've began drinking again.

In my field, there is no where for me to take another job locally which is why I left initially. I have missed where I moved from since I left. I know it's not definite to move somewhere and have a stress free job, but the stress I'm under is very extreme. I've been in my field pushing 20 years and have never been this stressed due to the circumstances I'm in - not related to my drinking. I really want to move back to where I lived which has a lot more opportunity for jobs in my field, professional growth potential, personal opportunities such as numerous outdoor activities which would be awesome.

I'm scared to make the change because I've read so many times you shouldn't make any major changes during the first year of sobriety. Question is, could it be beneficial to move somewhere where the stress levels are lower and there is more opportunity for sober personal growth?
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Old 05-14-2016, 02:47 PM
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Sinderos, sorry to hear about your dilemma. I don't have any answers but I'll share a few thoughts (IMHO):

Many of us relapse when stress hits because we've never learned healthier ways to deal with it and so we reach for the bottle first. Physical activity, meditation, etc can all be good coping mechanisms to release stress. They do take more thought and effort than opening a bottle but they don't have the negatives.

Sometimes a job can be way too stressful and we need to leave for our own sanity. I think it is important to ask ourselves if it's a case of the grass is greener in the other pasture or if we honestly believe we can get a good job that will be less stressful. None of us can answer that one for you.

From a different angle, many of us try to do the impossible so you may want to ask yourself if that's what you are doing and why. Fear of losing your job?

Good luck!
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Old 05-14-2016, 02:58 PM
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I'd say look really hard at where you are at before you make any drastic changes. It's very common to think that a physical move will help us avoid stress, find new opportunities, etc. And sometimes it is true. But it's also true that every job comes with stress, no matter where we live. All of the things you detailed about your job could and do happen everywhere. People quit, get fired, companies cut back, it happens in every city in the world.

Our addiction travels with us wherever we may go too unfortunately

So I'd say you need to really look hard at the situation. Perhaps make a list of what you feel you would gain in the move. Then got back through the list and see if there are things you could do to improve them in your current location.
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Old 05-14-2016, 03:56 PM
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Originally Posted by Sinderos View Post
I know during recovery it is recommended not to make any major changes during the first year.
I think that's because a major change, in itself, could be a source of stress, which could hamper recovery.

It's also said, do whatever it takes to support your decision to get sober. And sometimes that involves a major change. Catch 22. Do what you gotta do, I say.

However, you probably drank for a long time before your job got stressful. And you probably had different reasons for drinking. Think on this: Say you move, and you aren't job-stressed anymore, will you stay sober or will you find something else that will prompt you to drink? If you think that you will, work out your problems here. Cause you know what they say? "No matter where you go, there you are."
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Old 05-14-2016, 04:14 PM
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I worked at this company before. I left because I was unhappy. I moved where I was happy 7 hours away, but held onto a very unhealthy relationship which kept me coming back most weekends. Yes for a 7 hour drive. I loved where I lived. I didn't make any true connections due to my frequent weekends back home. Now I am totally ready to completely drop that relationship and learn to be happy.
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Old 05-14-2016, 04:45 PM
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Holding off on major decisions is a good idea... unless it impacts your recovery.

I'm finding that when making decisions, I lean on as many people as I can for advice. Sponsor, friends, family, etc. The thing I find is that we can't always trust our own gut alone, so it is really good to get opinions. What you don't want to do is make a rash decision on your own.
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Old 05-14-2016, 04:47 PM
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Originally Posted by Sinderos View Post
I'm scared to make the change because I've read so many times you shouldn't make any major changes during the first year of sobriety. Question is, could it be beneficial to move somewhere where the stress levels are lower and there is more opportunity for sober personal growth?
I moved in the first week of my recovery and things fell into place for me in a really good way. English was not the first language where I moved, I couldn't work, but found my way to a volunteer opportunity which was instrumental in turning my life around.

If you think the opportunity for a less stressful job and living in a more enjoyable environment, I'd say consider it seriously and try to be sure you would be moving for the right reasons. You know what is right for you.
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Old 05-14-2016, 05:06 PM
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There is no problem drinking can't make worse.

Booze elevates the stress.

When you are stressed from work suggest eating some healthy food, hit the stair master, drink a bunch of water, an get in bed for 8 hours.

Cope that way. So much better than boozing.

I know you know this.

Get clean. Change your life a bit. Stay clean.
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