CharlesG

This is day two and i'm making the decision to never use this again. I'm dead, I can't be creative i'm sleepy still and have the hugest headache and am depressed. I haven't smoked or drank in two months, I got high on cough syrup two days ago and feel terrible. Thanks for listening. I feel like I lost it all.

Dee74

welcome back Charles.

You haven't lost all you learned or all you accomplished in your clean time
Get back on the right road - you can do this

D

IvanMike

I'd give NA a shot if I were you.

Hang in there. Don't beat yourself up. You're going to, so I'd suggest a softer bat.

How about you make the decision to never use again? As in no drugs (including alcohol). The best thing is you only have to carry it out one day at a time.

I wouldn't bank on not using a specific drug just because you didn't like how it made you feel or how it made you feel afterwards. I used all kinds of drugs that qualified for those labels. Frequently even.

Get back up. There is help.

CharlesG

I am making the decision to not use ANY drugs. I feel super depressed and bad about my life when before taking it I just felt miserable because not being able to run to drugs. I'm happy that I've gone two months with no weed or alcohol and am tired of doing this to myself. Before I drank it I told myself I'd go to NA as punishment on top of me going to AA. Now I see (and did before) that using is not an option. I feel terrible emotionally and am needing of rest. This won't happen again I have made my mind up and will deal with the pain of changing instead of running back to this demon. It's never worth it and always makes me feel worse the following days of getting it out of my system.

Forte

Geez Charles I can relate to your posts absolutely. I'm getting off the Codeine and other painkillers at the moment armed only with the motivation to not live this life anymore..

All I can say is keep trying and you will get there, and mate, it will get better.

With you in this fight

IvanMike

That which I once saw as a punishment has become a welcome part of my life.

Our perceptions change in recovery.

Be good to yourself. Don't use today and do something for your recovery.

Forte

Well said Ivan

CharlesG

Thank you guys and I like that thought. Don't use and do something for your recovery everyday. I will and am now living by this, thank you guys. Just picking myself off the floor.

finaltime

Welcome Charles. Yes I agree with Ivan, I find NA a blessing. Not a punishment. I couldn't stay sober on my own. Tried for years and years. And years. And lost almost everything. Now I am grateful for NA it has saved me for today.

Give it a try. You have nothing to lose by giving it a full go. I have so many friends now that are in the program that understand me. No fake talking, I can call them and tell them anything. I am craving. I am hurt. I am beat up. I want to cry. I need advice. Its amazing!!! Most people pay a million dollars for that kind of help!!!

Keep on going Charles. You can do this.

CharlesG

I just spent today with my sponsor working the steps again and am tackling step four and committing to going to an AA meeting first thing in the morning and reading the big book. I am grateful for today being Day 3 (technically 4) and cannot wait to awake and try again in the A.M
Thanks a ton you guys

finaltime

Charles that is amazing!!! Doesn't it feel good!! Keep doing it. one day at a time. you can do this. If you are ever bored read through my struggles!! I have been through hell and back. Hang in there.