Hello from the other side: a message of hope to the addict who still suffers
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,618
Hello from the other side: a message of hope to the addict who still suffers
Hey everyone. My name is Lily and I usually post in the F&F but this time it is more appropriate for me to post here.
I am a recovering heroin addict. I hate the word heroin. I always use a different word... Opiates... Narcotics... Idk heroin is just "soooo bad" but I digress.
The last time I smoked was on 01/09/14. Its been a long time. I decided to quit in June of 13 when my boyfriend at the time got arrested, but it took me that long to realize I needed help. I could not kick on my own. I tried. I would make it to the third day and it was to painful. I went to a medical detox.
Fast forward to now. I went to court and won back joint custody of my kids. Ive thought I was gunna lose it a few times. My boyfriend got out of prison, he relapsed and dumped me. I thought I was going to lose it then. I cannot stress enough the importance of some type of accountability partner or sponsor.
Well, CPS has moved against my kids dad. We had a meeting today to talk about what his visitation would look like. During the meeting, I had to talk about my history of substance abuse. I began to cry when I had to say the word heroin. They looked me in the eyes and said "It isn't about where you were 2 years ago, its about where you are now. Thank you Miss Lily. You are honest. We have drug tested you several times because we pulled your medical records and we already knew. Miss lily... Your tests came back clean. Your house is clean. You pay your rent. There is food in the pantry. It isn't often we can say that to heroin addicts who sit in that chair."
In the end, the children get to stay with me 😊 They get to visit dad, but supervised. Dad is extremely upset, and voiced his "concerns" so I volunteered for observation. Let them come here. I couldn't say that 2 years ago. I am still a little afraid, but I have to try, I've lost so much because of my addiction. I have to try not to lose them too.
I never ever thought I would be able to get clean and stay clean. I never ever thought they would give me back the kids. I was sure I would die in the dopehouse, but I am here!
I still have character defects. I am still selfish. I am not able to have a healthy romantic relationship yet, maybe I never will.
I still have passing thoughts of having a drink, or smoking weed, but I know where that goes now.
I don't know what else to say. I just wanted to share.
There is always hope.
Lily
I am a recovering heroin addict. I hate the word heroin. I always use a different word... Opiates... Narcotics... Idk heroin is just "soooo bad" but I digress.
The last time I smoked was on 01/09/14. Its been a long time. I decided to quit in June of 13 when my boyfriend at the time got arrested, but it took me that long to realize I needed help. I could not kick on my own. I tried. I would make it to the third day and it was to painful. I went to a medical detox.
Fast forward to now. I went to court and won back joint custody of my kids. Ive thought I was gunna lose it a few times. My boyfriend got out of prison, he relapsed and dumped me. I thought I was going to lose it then. I cannot stress enough the importance of some type of accountability partner or sponsor.
Well, CPS has moved against my kids dad. We had a meeting today to talk about what his visitation would look like. During the meeting, I had to talk about my history of substance abuse. I began to cry when I had to say the word heroin. They looked me in the eyes and said "It isn't about where you were 2 years ago, its about where you are now. Thank you Miss Lily. You are honest. We have drug tested you several times because we pulled your medical records and we already knew. Miss lily... Your tests came back clean. Your house is clean. You pay your rent. There is food in the pantry. It isn't often we can say that to heroin addicts who sit in that chair."
In the end, the children get to stay with me 😊 They get to visit dad, but supervised. Dad is extremely upset, and voiced his "concerns" so I volunteered for observation. Let them come here. I couldn't say that 2 years ago. I am still a little afraid, but I have to try, I've lost so much because of my addiction. I have to try not to lose them too.
I never ever thought I would be able to get clean and stay clean. I never ever thought they would give me back the kids. I was sure I would die in the dopehouse, but I am here!
I still have character defects. I am still selfish. I am not able to have a healthy romantic relationship yet, maybe I never will.
I still have passing thoughts of having a drink, or smoking weed, but I know where that goes now.
I don't know what else to say. I just wanted to share.
There is always hope.
Lily
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Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 608
I am glad you got your kids and are over two years clean. They depend on you for everything right now and are a true gift from your HP...I hope you never use again and can one day attend their college graduation and wedding etc thanks for sharing
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