mns1

I have been struggling to stay sober the last couple weeks. I'll drink a few nights straight, then stay sober for a few days, then back to drinking, and so on and so forth.

I kind of realized I don't dedicate enough of my daily focus to the active process of staying sober. So I'm making that part of my plan. Until I can maintain at least a month of sobriety, all of my downtime needs to be dedicated to some form of staying sober activtity, be it posting on here, reading a book about recovery, or simply reflecting on why I am choosing sobriety to begin with.

I also need to be more accountable and actually post here when the urge to drink strikes.

Thanks guys.

doggonecarl

Sometimes it just comes down to just not drinking. To actively decide you are not going to drink, no matter what, and seeing that decision through.

mns1

Thank you doggonecarl you are right and today I am deciding not to drink.

I'm just trying to learn from what has worked or not worked for me in the past. I feel like my longest stretches of sobriey involved more daily focus on staying sober.

doggonecarl

Absolutely. I have over 5 years sober and I do something recovery related every day.

Additionally, every day presents an opportunity to focus on staying sober, and I don't mean doing a sober activity. If something makes you stressed, or angry, emotions that you might have drank through, you use that opportunity to engage new coping methods.

Long term, it's not about not drinking, but learning how to live and love the sober life. Do that and not drinking becomes the norm.

Behappy1

Absolutely!! If I lose track of my daily focus, it's easy to go back to the "norm".

mns1

Good point. I don't usually think about healthier coping methods in the moment. I'm going to keep this in mind throughout the day and going forward.

mns1

Agreed Behappy

ScottFromWI

Sounds like you have the right idea mns1, it's following through that is the difficult part of course. Joining a daily thread here, going to meetings ( online or in-person ), starting a journal, etc....can all be very helpful but you have to of course commit to them. Have you ever considered making a daily schedule and planning out your day ahead of time? That was very helpful for me in early recovery. I'm very regimented in my work schedule, but also started scheduling my weekends and evenings and blocking off time specifically to work on getting better. It also eliminates idle time where thoughts of drinking can creep back in.

madgirl

mns1 if you're trying to moderate it's actually harder. That makes the "oh come on let's just have a drink tonight" voice so much louder on the days you're attempting sobriety.

At day 41 the voice is quieter. Still there, but my focus is much different. It's like you can see things better - hard to explain.

mecanix

lots of new people here could do with a kind word and encouragement mms ,

You've got the power to help them as you help yourself , thats a super power !

m

mns1

Thank you Scott I have thought about actually planning out my dialy schedule but never actually committed to doing it. Reading the advice you guys have given me, I am realizing that is a problem of mine. I say these things to myself but don't actually make a firm commitment to follow through on them every day. I'm actually going to start planning my weekend right now thanks.

Madgirl I'm not trying to moderate. I've already come to the conclusion that that is not an option for me! I'm just not keeping my mind in the game and making firm decision and commitments to get and stay sober. Thanks for your feedback though and congrats on 41 days!

mns1

Thanks mecanix!

least

I had a hard time staying sober until I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink.

mns1

Thank you least. I am currently thinking about all the things I want more than a couple hours of mindlessness followed by a morning of misery.

They far outweigh it.

AdelineRose

Never stop fighting, do you have a doctor that you can let know what is going on so they can help treat any symptoms that might arise? I have found making my main doctor an addiction specialist, going to an addiction counselor, and getting a full psych evaluation has helped me find out that I have bipolar two disorder and treating ALL of my issues has made staying sober much easier.

Learning how to deal with stress sober has helped me immensely. I practice yoga, meditation, and journaling.

I have also opened up to those around me so I can reach out for emotional support when I need it.

Once you want sobriety more than ANYTHING and EVERYTHING then things will want to fall into place. I can also say that once you get over the hump of one month things do get easier and easier. At least in my experience with heroin addiction.

Anna

It is hard to follow through and tweaking your plan so it will work better for you is a good idea. I think that if you include things in your daily life that support your recovery, you will do well.

totfit

Definitely if things are not working for you a plan needs to be tweaked. I find personally and from my experience that total immersion or obsession with not drinking and focusing on "recovery" readings, etc. was just as much an obsession about drinking and became counter productive. What works for me is to focus on "living" and immerse my life in healthy productive activities. The drinking part is just ridiculous, because I am "allergic". I make that no big deal as it just does not work for me. Obviously, I would suffer if I drank, because I cannot drink responsibly. As a minimum it would interfere in all of my planned healthy activities. This is what works for me. Other that come here and read a bit. (I actually read it as a Feedly feed) I spend most of my time focused on all the good things life has to offer. Why would I want to drink and ruin that? Just the way I approach things after finding it to be "recovery" rather that dwelling on "not drinking". I obsessed with "not drinking" for a long time and only found it to be an obsession with "drinking". Just what has worked for me.

mns1

Adeline I actually see my doctor very regularly and we talked about the drinking last visit. The thing is I don't suffer any withdrawal symptoms (how, at this point, is beyond me). It's all psychological for me.

Thanks Anna I am working on it!

Thanks totfit that is an interesting way to put it. I will be sure not to become obsessive with anything in particular as I strive toward long-term sobriety.

Soberwolf

Recovery books help me in so many ways I love reading I owe SR a whole lot for helping me with that

Journalling is a excellent reflection tool I like going back seeing how I was thinking and where I was going right aswell as wrong

Seeing the hard days good days all of them is a beautiful thing

Meetings were essential in early recovery (for me each to thier own)

ccam1973

Good job on adjusting your plan. That's what plans are meant for; adjusting to meet your current needs. I'm on month 22 sober and will always do something for my recovery every day. This addiction is a part of me and my recovery needs to be a part of my daily life as well. The last couple of relapses was when I didn't spend enough time focused on my recovery, I let my time on SR fade, I got complacent and lost focus on what I need to be fighting for every day.

Well done on adjusting your plan MNS.