Gr8ful22

I haven't posted in some time, but I have not had any sobriety wins to speak of recently.

I need a plan, and need to stay sober. I have reached a point where the fear and anxiety that I am going through during the days I'm not drinking, are all thoughts about my job, and walking away from my career. The fear is paralyzing, and I can't think straight.

Today is day 3, but it sure as hell feels like my third day 1.

I turn to SR for some reading when I am at my worst, which is why I am here today.

Thanks for reading.

ladyboo

Day 3, or 3rd Day 1- whatever it is- do it SOBER!! i just prayed for us- my hubby, me, our son- to walk thru a very scary ordeal with dignity, grace, & sobriety!! only way to come thru this! we can all do this!

ALinNS

It isn't easy at first however it does become easier in time, as with anything hard work, dedication and well thought out plan that we stick to. Keep posting and I pray for the best on your journey.

Andrew

Zufrieden

Hi Gr8tful.
I can relate to so much of this and can tell you that the job stuff will make so much more sense after some sober time.
I have despised my career, a business that I own, for many years. I blame it for a large role in my drinking issues. When I quit drinking I felt exactly how you feel. Fortunately, going to work the past months sober has left me clear headed but increasingly miserable and I'm making plans to transition to something more fulfilling. It's going to be a transition (I'm up for work at 4;00 am to work the transition plan) but I couldn't have done this while drinking.
It will get better for you the longer you are sober.
Best wishes
Jonathan

BlueBlueBird

Today is my day 3 (and not my first) as well. I can understand how you feel.

For me, what's keeping me sober are very small bite-size pieces. For instance, I know I won't be at risk to drink until I get home this afternoon so I've made a plan to address any triggers that will come up this evening that would normally queue me to drink. I can't think about tomorrow. I can't think about my lasting sobriety. Just how I am going to make it through this evening.

Hang in there.

Ananda

Please remember,

You don't have to walk through with "dignity and grace" .....

In the hardest sober times I've had I had to drag myself in an embarrassing humiliating way .... I had to do what I had to do even when I did it crying like a baby and embarrassing myself.

The important thing to remember when you are going through hell ... is just don't stop!

2ndhandrose

(((Gr8tful22))) The last sentence in your post really jumped out at me. As part of growing a recovery plan, you could come to SR on a daily basis, even when you are not at your worst.

I have learned so much by reading on SR daily. I would even say it is my number 1 recovery tool.

Post and read, read and post or just read, but please don't go away

FLCamper

Gr8ful22, I think day 3 is a win - don't dismiss that accomplishment!
Paralyzing fear and anxiety were common states with me. And it is terrible. It subsided rapidly after I quit. It took a little time so be patient with yourself.

Some sort of plan is important. It just gave me a path to follow when my mind was swirling. Checking in here daily is a good idea. Kind of a "home base". Like when you played 'kick the can' as a kid - which we are all doing now in a sense :-)
Keep posting and do not give up.

D122y

Much of the anxiety you feel is alcohol created. Each time you drink you reset the anxiety cycle. Stay clean and watch the anxiety go away.

thomas11

Coming to SR at your worst also caught my attention, maybe come here often. I visit SR every day.

I'm no expert, but I believe the alcohol is 100% responsible for your fear and anxiety. I've been through it, it scares the **** out of me. So much so, it has kept me sober. You're on day 3, you should be getting over the hump real soon.

Gr8ful22

Thanks for all the feedback. The day slightly improved as it went on, but your support has probably attributed to that as well.

madgirl

I am glad to see that coming here "counts" as a recovery tool! Alright!

Gr8ful22, my anxiety levels have come down quite a bit in the last week (32 days sober today). Hang in there sober and get some rest.

360startstoday

This^^^^

My anxiety has slowly decreased, day by day by day..... and so on. It is most definitely one of my favorite sobriety rewards. (In addition to a ton of other things!)

It gets better. Keep it up and good job!

Dee74

It's good to see you back Gr8ful22

Have you checked out the Class of April support thread at all?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-2-a-19.html

D