Losing it all
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 380
Losing it all
I'm so close to losing everything, marriage, job, kids, house. I've wrecked my car a couple times, still trying to hide that, not going to work, different excuses every day. I don't know how to get out of this hole I've dug.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Hi there
I know exactly how you're feeling....been there too many times. Really the only way to get out is to quit. I know, not so easy but the concept is pretty simple.
I have found the best way out is to seek help and support from your dr, ER or medical detox facility.
You can do this! Take back your life.
I know exactly how you're feeling....been there too many times. Really the only way to get out is to quit. I know, not so easy but the concept is pretty simple.
I have found the best way out is to seek help and support from your dr, ER or medical detox facility.
You can do this! Take back your life.
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
It took time to dig that hole, it'll take time to get out. You can get out of it though, one day at a time.
It starts with making the decision that you want to be sober more than you want to drink.
The Drunk Who Fell in a Hole
A drunk fell in a hole and couldn't get out. A businessman went by. The drunk called out for help. The businessman threw him some money and told him get yourself a ladder. But the drunk could not find a ladder in this hole he was in.
A doctor walked by. The drunk said, "Help, I can't get out." The doctor gave him drugs and said, "Take this, it will relieve the pain." The drunk said thanks, but when the pills ran out, he was still in the hole.
A renowned psychiatrist rode by and heard the drunks cries for help. He stopped and said, "How did you get there? Were you born there? Were you put there by your parents? Tell me about yourself, it will alleviate your sense of loneliness." So the drunk talked with him for an hour, then the psychiatrist had to leave, but he said he'd be back next week. The drunk thanked him, but he was still in his hole.
A priest came by and the drunk called for help. The priest gave him a Bible and said I'll say a prayer for you. He got down on his knees and prayed for the drunk, then left. The drunk was very grateful, he read the Bible, but he was still stuck in that hole.
A recovering alcoholic happened to be passing by. The drunk cried out, "Hey, help me, I'm stuck in this hole." Right away, the recovering alcoholic jumped in the hole with him. The drunk said, "What are you doing? Now we're both stuck here." But the recovering alcoholic said, "It's okay, I've been here before, I know how to get out."
It starts with making the decision that you want to be sober more than you want to drink.
The Drunk Who Fell in a Hole
A drunk fell in a hole and couldn't get out. A businessman went by. The drunk called out for help. The businessman threw him some money and told him get yourself a ladder. But the drunk could not find a ladder in this hole he was in.
A doctor walked by. The drunk said, "Help, I can't get out." The doctor gave him drugs and said, "Take this, it will relieve the pain." The drunk said thanks, but when the pills ran out, he was still in the hole.
A renowned psychiatrist rode by and heard the drunks cries for help. He stopped and said, "How did you get there? Were you born there? Were you put there by your parents? Tell me about yourself, it will alleviate your sense of loneliness." So the drunk talked with him for an hour, then the psychiatrist had to leave, but he said he'd be back next week. The drunk thanked him, but he was still in his hole.
A priest came by and the drunk called for help. The priest gave him a Bible and said I'll say a prayer for you. He got down on his knees and prayed for the drunk, then left. The drunk was very grateful, he read the Bible, but he was still stuck in that hole.
A recovering alcoholic happened to be passing by. The drunk cried out, "Hey, help me, I'm stuck in this hole." Right away, the recovering alcoholic jumped in the hole with him. The drunk said, "What are you doing? Now we're both stuck here." But the recovering alcoholic said, "It's okay, I've been here before, I know how to get out."
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
You get out of the hole by putting down the bottle. It's a simple, albeit not "easy" solution.
Extraordinary/dire circumstances require extraordinary measures to fix. A couple of suggestions.
1. Be honest. As much as you think you are hiding your drinking, people know - I can guarantee you that. Stop lying to them, and more importantly to yourself and accept that you have a problem.
2. Seek help - See your doctor, go to an AA meeting, call an Alcohol/Drug counselor, etc.
3. Do whatever it takes to quit and stay quit. That will involve you doing a lot of things you most likely do not WANT to do or feel comfortable doing.
Do remember though that you have a choice - and you can turn this around. Are you ready and willing to do so?
Extraordinary/dire circumstances require extraordinary measures to fix. A couple of suggestions.
1. Be honest. As much as you think you are hiding your drinking, people know - I can guarantee you that. Stop lying to them, and more importantly to yourself and accept that you have a problem.
2. Seek help - See your doctor, go to an AA meeting, call an Alcohol/Drug counselor, etc.
3. Do whatever it takes to quit and stay quit. That will involve you doing a lot of things you most likely do not WANT to do or feel comfortable doing.
Do remember though that you have a choice - and you can turn this around. Are you ready and willing to do so?
NA Member - Atheist
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Middletown CT USA
Posts: 770
Screwedup and Scott said most of what I was going to.
Stop digging. Stop running. It only gets worse when you do that.
I get why you keep getting loaded, because like all addicts I was willing to take a moment of relief in exchange for a lifetime of misery. That got me in quite a hole. If you don't stop eventually it gets you dead, and you don't get out of that hole. I just found out a friend from recovery just died from using yesterday. That makes two in the last week.
You're not going to erase the consequences by magic, nor can you snap your fingers and have everything go back to "normal".
Get help wherever you can. AA, treatment, whatever. In NA we don't care what your drug of choice was so you can go there too.
Be prepared for an emotional roller coaster and for this to take time. Latch on to the guys that were in the same hole you were in and who have found a way out. - Worked for me.
Stop digging. Stop running. It only gets worse when you do that.
I get why you keep getting loaded, because like all addicts I was willing to take a moment of relief in exchange for a lifetime of misery. That got me in quite a hole. If you don't stop eventually it gets you dead, and you don't get out of that hole. I just found out a friend from recovery just died from using yesterday. That makes two in the last week.
You're not going to erase the consequences by magic, nor can you snap your fingers and have everything go back to "normal".
Get help wherever you can. AA, treatment, whatever. In NA we don't care what your drug of choice was so you can go there too.
Be prepared for an emotional roller coaster and for this to take time. Latch on to the guys that were in the same hole you were in and who have found a way out. - Worked for me.
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
Remember that it won't be easy, anyone that says it's easy is lying but it is definitely worth it.
The hole is a great example, it's easy to fall into a hole but hard to climb out.
Don't give up.
The hole is a great example, it's easy to fall into a hole but hard to climb out.
Don't give up.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,514
I felt like that when I stopped drinking too.
Have faith that you can do this and you can get your life together.
What worked for me was to make a list, fairly detailed, of everything I wanted to do. Each day, I would cross off 2 or 3 items. It gave me confidence and motivation to keep moving forward.
Have faith that you can do this and you can get your life together.
What worked for me was to make a list, fairly detailed, of everything I wanted to do. Each day, I would cross off 2 or 3 items. It gave me confidence and motivation to keep moving forward.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,432
1.Don't drink today
2.Make a doctors appt. right away and be honest
3.Tell your family what's going on and ask for their support
4.Eat good food, hydrate, go to bed early and take care of your body.
5. Go to a recovery meeting, make a therapy appointment, or whatever you need
to get some psychological support.
6. Do not compromise with your addicted self and drink again.
7. Realize you can control picking up that first drink, even if you can't after that.
8. Post here on SR whenever you feel cravings and join the monthly class.
9. We understand it is hard, but really accept it is do-able and you can stop the madness.
10.
2.Make a doctors appt. right away and be honest
3.Tell your family what's going on and ask for their support
4.Eat good food, hydrate, go to bed early and take care of your body.
5. Go to a recovery meeting, make a therapy appointment, or whatever you need
to get some psychological support.
6. Do not compromise with your addicted self and drink again.
7. Realize you can control picking up that first drink, even if you can't after that.
8. Post here on SR whenever you feel cravings and join the monthly class.
9. We understand it is hard, but really accept it is do-able and you can stop the madness.
10.
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Lot of good advice here already. You're in my thoughts and prayers. There is a better way of life waiting for you in recovery. One day at a time, it'll get better with a little work and patience on our parts.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 1,730
You say that you are CLOSE to losing it all. That tells me that you haven't yet lost it all.
So, you can keep doing what you are doing and wait until you DO lose it all, or you can start, today, to climb out of the hole.
It can be done. And you can do it.
So, you can keep doing what you are doing and wait until you DO lose it all, or you can start, today, to climb out of the hole.
It can be done. And you can do it.
Resident Awesome Guy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Castle Pines, CO
Posts: 747
Originally Posted by ScrewdUpInDe 
The Drunk Who Fell in a Hole
A drunk fell in a hole and couldn't get out. A businessman went by. The drunk called out for help. The businessman threw him some money and told him get yourself a ladder. But the drunk could not find a ladder in this hole he was in.
A doctor walked by. The drunk said, "Help, I can't get out." The doctor gave him drugs and said, "Take this, it will relieve the pain." The drunk said thanks, but when the pills ran out, he was still in the hole.
A renowned psychiatrist rode by and heard the drunks cries for help. He stopped and said, "How did you get there? Were you born there? Were you put there by your parents? Tell me about yourself, it will alleviate your sense of loneliness." So the drunk talked with him for an hour, then the psychiatrist had to leave, but he said he'd be back next week. The drunk thanked him, but he was still in his hole.
A priest came by and the drunk called for help. The priest gave him a Bible and said I'll say a prayer for you. He got down on his knees and prayed for the drunk, then left. The drunk was very grateful, he read the Bible, but he was still stuck in that hole.
A recovering alcoholic happened to be passing by. The drunk cried out, "Hey, help me, I'm stuck in this hole." Right away, the recovering alcoholic jumped in the hole with him. The drunk said, "What are you doing? Now we're both stuck here." But the recovering alcoholic said, "It's okay, I've been here before, I know how to get out."
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
you can pay the very high price of saying goodbye to everything you love and hold dear JUST so you can have another drink....
OR
you put down the booze, for good, and have the chance to build a wonderful life.
OR
you put down the booze, for good, and have the chance to build a wonderful life.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
To get and stay sober you must want to be sober more than you want to drink. How badly do you want to be sober? You've got to put the bottle down. Nothing good will come from drinking.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
Goingnowhere, there is a common theme here. You've got the power to break this cycle, but you've got to want it and make it happen. You've got to dig deep and help yourself, no one can do it for you.
Your tomorrow hasn't been shaped yet, give yourself the best chance at getting out of your hole by not drinking today.
I promise, you won't regret this decision.
Your tomorrow hasn't been shaped yet, give yourself the best chance at getting out of your hole by not drinking today.
I promise, you won't regret this decision.
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